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 Welcome back to another episode of the Rota Life Podcast with Meredith and Craig, episode 1 0 1, 1 for every Dalmatian. What do we got this week? Okay, this week we are talking about the rules to be an unstoppable team. There's five of them. There is five of not 101 it'll make it a little easier.

Won't be such a long episode. It won't be that long. 5 rules to be an unstoppable team. These are rules that we live by. , These are cornerstone for all of our coaching and practice, and we have found that these five rules when implemented, when you follow these rules, you are an unstoppable team.

. We talk about marriage like it's a team sport. And because it is, because it is. Because when he wins, I win. When I win, he wins. We win together. When one loses, we both lose. So we're a team and the the trick of it is,, until we get married, until we find our person , and decide to join forces and do life together, we're playing on single player mode.

We have been our whole lives up to that point, and we probably got pretty good at it. Like we probably excel at single player mode. , Had a lot of practice at it. Had a lot of practice. So it's a whole different game now that you're playing a team sport. It's, it's very different. And so it takes some.

Intention and some practice to switch that from single player mode to now team player mode. All that to say that if you find it to be a struggle to play on a two player mode, it's normal because you are used to playing on single player mode for most of your life. That when you join forces, well now it's not just about you.

So now it's about the team. Yeah, the team. The team. And these are the five rules that are going to take your team to infinity and beyond. First rule, everyone's contribution matters. We can get stuck in this world, this comparative reality where we're on a team, but I feel like I'm always at home hanging out with kids, making sure they're fed and put to bed.

And someone else, my teammate, they. Living life, meeting people, building a business, doing all these things. And it makes me feel kind of small and not like I'm contributing to the greater good of the team. And like when you think about like sports teams as an analogy, like the quarterback throws the ball, right?

Like they throw the touchdown passes, but they can't throw the touchdown passes if the offensive line doesn't block and give them time to do that. So if the offensive line was judging themselves by how well they threw balls, then like they feel like they're failing and they're not contributing.

And if their quarterback's judging themselves by how well they're blocking, , they're not contributing. So everyone's contribution is important to get the team to the team win. So to extrapolate that two marriage, it's basically they're out having business meetings and talking to people and networking and doing whatever it is.

They get to do that because. I'm at home taking care of some of the responsibilities that they don't now need to take care of and worry about. And so I'm basically blocking, I'm the blocker in this situation for the quarterback to go throw the touchdown. Yeah. And so everything that we're doing is in service of the big dream, the big goal that we have as a team, sports team.

They wanna win the Super Bowl, they wanna win the Stanley Cup, the whatever, the championship of some sort, some sort of trophy. For us in our marriage, it's the goals, the big life goals that we have on our bucket list, the things that we want to achieve in this world. Those are our trophies. Those are the things that we want to accomplish.

And so every day we look at what are the things that each of us are doing to achieve that goal? And some days. You know, it might feel like one of us is contributing more, but we're both contributing to the greater good. Yeah. And when you start comparing what you contribute to each other, you go from collaboration and team playing to competition.

Yeah. And you don't wanna be there. 'cause like we said, you're on the same team. When one of you wins, you both win. Yeah. When one of you loses, you both lose. Rule number two, unstoppable teams grow together. If you're not growing together, you're growing apart, literally apart. And we see this a lot with especially entrepreneurs, right?

Because entrepreneurship, your business only goes as far as you do with your own personal growth. And so entrepreneurs generally spend a lot of time working on themselves, growing, becoming the best version of themselves. And sometimes their spouse does that too, and sometimes they don't. And if one of you is growing and the other one isn't.

You're actively growing apart. This really hit home for me. When we left our corporate jobs, we were a little bit lost. We ultimately just, you know, chose some business that didn't line for us, put those aside, and went on a personal growth journey. Said, let's focus on us. What do we want to be? Who do we want to be in this world?

What's our gift? And all this? So we went on this growth journey to figure out , the answers to all these big questions that we had no idea we were supposed to be and we've probably told this story, so I'll tell an abbreviated version, but we ended up at this event where we basically had to get really vulnerable with each other and share our limiting beliefs.

And it was really scary. It was really uncomfortable. It was the first kind of event and first like touch point into this world. Mm-hmm. And so it was really uncomfortable. But I can tell you that going through that exercise alone would've been super important. It would've been super helpful, valuable. It would've been very valuable, and I would've learned a lot, and I would've grown.

Mm-hmm. But then I think that if you weren't there, I would've grown a little bit and I would've taken that step. But you wouldn't have been there to take that step either. Mm-hmm. Too, you would've been at home and I would've had to come back and try to explain. But by you being there. Us growing together.

Like , we connected on a, deeper level because we got vulnerable in front of each other. Mm-hmm. And now we know each other's limiting beliefs and we can now support each other through those things. Mm-hmm. But you also are taking a step towards the big goal. The same step that I took together.

Yeah. Like you didn't not take a step. And I took a step and, now there's a gap between us. We both took a step towards the big goal and also at the same time, in that same moment deepened our bond. So it was really imperative and then when I think about it to, you know, sports teams, they all show up.

Practice. Yeah. They all show up , and grow together. Do the drills. They all run the plays. Learn the plays. Yeah. They all do the thing. They grow together. Unstoppable teams always grow together. Rule number three, unstoppable teams show up for themselves, for their teammate, and for the team. And we say those three things because there is actually three entities at play in the relationship because there's me, there's you, and there's us, there's the team.

And sometimes you gotta think about those three things a little bit separately.

So showing up means showing up in every way, physically, emotionally, mentally, like being there, holding each other accountable, cheering each other on being each other's support system , and that's gonna look different in different places. This one really hits home when a lot of times we'll talk to couples who.

Someone feels drained in the relationship. Mm-hmm. , Like they're just exhausted. They've got so much going on. There's so much on their plate that they don't feel like they can show up in other areas of the marriage or other areas of their life. And we try to impart , on them that.

It's imperative that you take care of yourself so that you have a full cup, so that you have more to give in the relationship. So it starts with show up for yourself. Mm-hmm. Show up for yourself and make sure your cup is full. Like, what is that for you? Is it a morning walk that gets the juice flowing so that you can show up for the kids and you know, all the other things for the rest of the day?

Is it going to the gym? Is it journaling? Is it meditating? Is it standing in the grass? , It can be anything. Take care of you. Take care of you. We also hear that, you know, they are overloaded. People are overloaded because there's an imbalance in the responsibilities. Responsibilities around the home or in the business or whatever it is.

And so what can I do to chip in to help take, relieve some of that stress off of my partner, my teammate? Is there something I can be doing? So in other words. If you see a load of laundry just sitting there, instead of walking past it for the hundredth time, maybe just fold it and put it away like it's picking it.

It pick up the slack. It's picking up the slack, knowing that if your teammate's drained and they need some love and support, that you're there to just pick up the slack. No questions asked. Just, Hey, . We're in this together. If you can't handle this today, I got you. I'm gonna take care of it. And, it's about the little things, like the little things matter.

So much like I think we're conditioned a little bit, and we've done a whole episode on this, that grand gestures define your relationship. It's all about the grand gesture, when it's not. Like 99% of your life is the mundane little things that go on every day. And so paying attention and chipping in and doing the little things every day to support yourself, to support your teammate, and to support the team.

Rule number four. Unsolvable teams practice how they play. This is an interesting one. This one came up in I think we told this story as well, I'm not sure, but a game night. We were at a game night and so, you know, mayor's close to winning Everyone around the table's like, gang up on her, let's get her, let's beat her up.

Let's get her. I am not into that. That's not my scene. I'm not into like. Ganging up on my wife. I'm usually like, you know, we're team shoulder to shoulder. How can I help? Let's do this. They tried to convince you. The rest of the group wanted me on their side so bad. They wanted me to stick it to her, and that's just not my scene.

So , I caught a lot of heat for it. And what we tried to explain to them is that when she wins, I win. And when she loses, I lose. And so we practice how we play. We don't compete. That way. Like, I'm not gonna get cutthroat with my wife in those moments, those little moments, because then the muscle's there for, in the big moments, maybe I won't show up the way I'm supposed to, the way you want to, the way I want to, the way I'm, the way I'm supposed to, to support you.

And so it's really about showing up every day in the little moments how you want to show up in the big moments. Mm-hmm. So I supported her through that game. Guess who won? She did. She won. I also won. Mm-hmm. 'cause when she wins, I win. So anyway, unstoppable teams practice how they play. They show up every day.

Thinking the big picture in mind, like I'm not gonna show up and compete with her in this little moment. 'cause that builds that muscle that now I'm competing. I'm more against each other. But when you show up in support and love and I'm always there shoulder to shoulder in the little moments, when the time comes for the big moments, the muscle's there, we just show up, boom, shoulder to shoulder, what do we gotta do?

It's muscle memory. Yeah. It's just what do we have to do? Let's get after it. And we get after it together. Mm-hmm. Finding solutions world number five. Unstoppable teams don't beat themselves.

If you think about it, sports teams, you hear them all the time. , After a big win, like the conversation, like what happened? How'd you win? Like, ah, , you know, we showed up. We, played discipline, we did the little things. We did the little things. We, got in the corners. We, showed up for each other.

We didn't quit. We didn't take bad. In other words, they're saying they didn't beat themselves, they didn't take stupid penalties, they didn't make turnovers, they didn't do the things that bad teams do that lose them the game. Mm-hmm. They show up and do the, the things that are going to help them win the game.

So it's really around not score keeping with each other. Nitpicking the little things like that's beating yourselves. Mm-hmm. Like the little things that don't matter or don't contribute to the big life goals. Those are the things that can beat you. They can cause little rifts and then cause big holes.

Once that little rift is there, it can be a big hole if we don't attend to it. So it's really about getting curious and asking questions instead of getting into judgment. Giving the benefit of the doubt and assuming positive intent, assuming you're always on the same team, assuming you're always supporting each other, because when you start keeping score, you put yourself in competition.

That creates resentment, that creates rifts, and that's how you beat yourselves. So it's not , me versus you, it's us versus the world. It's us versus the problem. Like when there's something, that's going on in your relationship instead of. Getting after each other. And we've told this many times the Russian cab story, , where we could have, gotten into a bit of a tiff where it's like, how can you forget your phone?

Well, why didn't you remind me? And back and forth and back and forth. But instead we just were like, okay, we're not gonna beat ourselves. Like we're already losing this game. We don't have your phone credit card and driver license. We are behind the eight ball. We are losing. Are we gonna now? Go after turn on each other.

Are we gonna go after each other and get further behind in this game? No, we're absolutely not. We're gonna get on the same side. We're gonna get quickly aligned, and we're gonna go after the problem. Mm-hmm. We're gonna find a solution and we're gonna go and, score a goal and come back and win this game.

Because like in any sport, , the success of your marriage, the winning at life through your marriage comes down to how well you play the game together, comes from how well you work together. You can't win the game if you don't know the rules. So you gotta know the rules and you gotta work together.

And you can't win the game if you beat yourselves. If you beat yourselves, you lose you, you beat yourselves, you lose, and, so , it's paramount that you get on the same side and act together, work together towards the goal. Don't let the whatever it is out there beat you. Go after it. Get after it together, you're stronger together.

Recap the five rules, one. Unstoppable teams know everyone's contribution matters. Unstoppable teams grow together. Unstoppable teams show up for themselves, each other, and the team. Unstoppable teams practice how they play, and unstoppable teams don't beat themselves. So this week, pick one. Pick one rule to focus on this week and start trying to live by that rule.

Start trying to make little subtle tweaks in your day to day in support of living by that rule. Anyone, , any one of the five that speaks to you this week, and then maybe pick another one next week. But for now, let's start with one. Which rule this week are you going to start with? And also share this episode with your teammate, your teammate, and maybe a friend or two who also would benefit from knowing the rules of the game.And on that note, go be badass teammate. See you next week.

Before we wrap up, we just want to remind you about something really special we've created. The Infinite Relationship Mastermind. It's like a VIP backstage pass for anyone looking to level up any and all of their relationships in their life. And we're not just talking about the relationship with your spouse.

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It fills our heart like nothing else. Now, we are super protective of this community because it is all about trust, love and support. So it's not for everybody, but if this does sound like it might tickle your fancy, then check out the link in the show notes and reach out to us if you have any questions, we'd love to chat and see if it's a fit for you.

And as always, thank you so much for being a part of our journey on The Road of life. And remember, you've got this, and we're here to help you every step of the way. So we'll see you next week. Bye for now.