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Episode Transcription

Episode 109 Transcription

Meredith & Craig (02:19.328)

Welcome Robin Carr. We're super excited to have you Robin. We're really thrilled you're here.

Robin Carr (02:25.932)

Thank you so much guys. I am so excited that we connected through CLA and I'm so happy to be here. So thank you so much for inviting me to be a part of your podcast today.

Meredith & Craig (02:35.625)

our pleasure. We're excited. So why don't you tell us a little bit about how you got here? Tell us a little bit about your resume.

Robin Carr (02:41.259)

Yeah,

Robin Carr (02:42.919)

absolutely. So I was in the corporate world for over 20 years and went from kind of all different areas from sales to politics and government to working in the school system, all different things, but nothing ever felt like it fit. So last year, working in sales, there was a ton of layoffs last year. My company was one of them and it was a blessing in disguise. So

Robin Carr (03:10.391)

I went from making a lot of money, more money than I had ever made in my entire life to making no money. And finally had to listen to this little voice that was like, hey, you're meant to do something greater. You're meant for something bigger than this. You're not supposed to be, you know, in sales for somebody else. So the past year has been a lot of personal development. My story from birth is not one of sunshine and rainbows. It was a little bit of trauma and a whole lot of growth.

Robin Carr (03:40.563)

And so the little voice is telling me to share that story. So I really dove into that and I started trying to figure out what does that look like? How do I do it? Where do I even start to do it? And met some really awesome, I guess coaches, if you will, who have kind of guided me along the way. And I have started doing motivational speaking. I just won an award last month.

Robin Carr (04:06.499)

and soon to be international. Now I'm gonna be in an anthology. It's kind of just going, so yeah.

Meredith & Craig (04:14.202)

That's super exciting. And congratulations on the speaking award. That's, that's amazing. Your story is so similar. There's a lot of parallels. We've lived an interesting parallel story together. think we also, at least from the corporate perspective, we're in corporate. And then it was during COVID when our company was restructuring and doing things and we had the opportunity to move across the country, keep our jobs, get promoted or

Meredith & Craig (04:40.792)

leave. And like you, we had been making a lot of money and went from lots of money to, crap, what are we going to do? And I don't know about you, but it was a really stressful transition for us because when we left, we were real, we were pretty type A, like to have a plan, love a good checklist. This is exactly what we're going to do. And we didn't have that. what was your transition like from the structured corporate, you know, knew exactly what you were doing kind of every day to what a

Robin Carr (04:45.911)

Okay.

Robin Carr (04:51.85)

Yes.

Meredith & Craig (05:09.895)

The next thing, how did that transition go for you?

Robin Carr (05:13.256)

Yeah, so very much just like you said it was from this is fantastic to what the heck do I do now? But for me personally, it actually led me into the greatest oppression of my entire life and I'm not the type of person that's ever been depressed like I was the cheerleader and the dancer and all these things and But yeah, I got super depressed and I remember telling my husband and

Robin Carr (05:40.223)

the friends and family that were closest to me, I don't remember the last time I smiled. And when I was cognizant enough to actually hear those words and how hurtful they were to the ones who loved and support me and were trying to help me, I was like, okay, I can no longer live like this. Like I've got to do something. And so I have a BS in psychology. So I did not care anything about that BS for years. I thought that it was in fact BS. And so I...

Robin Carr (06:09.967)

dove back into that. started reading articles and reading books and figuring out like, okay, how can I help myself to be able to understand not only what I'm going through, but how do I get out of it? And so that's what I did. And I dove really deep into all of that kind of stuff. And for a long time, I didn't know what the next step was. Like I said, I was trying to figure it out. And in this personal development journey, I started on Instagram.

Robin Carr (06:37.983)

just making reels, like it was kind of my live journal, if you will. And from there, people started following me. They started liking what I had to say. They were like, hey, me too, like this resonates. And it was kind of cool to really feel that with other people. yeah, I went from, cause I'm very much type A also and had to learn how to create my own structure and have my own systems. So.

Robin Carr (07:06.853)

The Miracle Morning changed my life. I will give him props every day of the week. If you haven't read the book, read the book. But that, I mean, that's where it all started for me. And then it just very quickly transitioned in the past year.

Meredith & Craig (07:20.902)

So where are you now? Like what's the, like I know you've got, I think it's thrive unapologetically. So talk to us a little bit about that.

Robin Carr (07:27.445)

That's correct.

Robin Carr (07:29.527)

Yeah. So thrive unapologetically is very new. So I am rebranding myself as we speak. I started out just thinking of I was going to be overcoming adversity and negativity with mindset. Well, now I understand that was very primitive thinking. so thrive unapologetically is absolutely everything about me.

Robin Carr (07:56.777)

to a T. So, in everything that I do now, my goal is not just to do it, but to actually thrive in doing it. And I'm unapologetically myself. I spent years thinking that I wasn't worthy, I wasn't enough, I wasn't insert X. And now, like, I'm not gonna ever be rude to anybody, because that's not who I am either. But I am like, no, this is me. And I'm very confident in me and

Robin Carr (08:24.372)

Robin Carr (08:24.732)

I love myself and this is the first time in my life that I've ever really could say that. so, thrive unapologetically. Those are the people that I want. They are stuck in the negative mindset and then, you know, I'm the bridge that helps them come to the positive side of life, if you will, and helps them really thrive because there is a huge difference between just surviving and really thriving in life.

Robin Carr (08:51.996)

And now that I'm here, I want everybody on board with me. So that's how I came up with Thrive Unapologetically.

Meredith & Craig (08:58.18)

I love it. And, and like, there's such an epidemic in the world. say it all the time of unworthiness. So it's so cool to have people like you who have, we all struggle with it. So you've struggled with it, but now you're reaching your hand back and pulling some pulling others along the journey with you to.

Meredith & Craig (09:18.392)

the feeling of worthiness and to understand how their own see their own greatness and what they're capable of and helping them, you know, thrive unapologetically. So because we've both been on this journey and done this work. And so I'm curious, what did your worthiness journey look like to go from where you were to where you are now?

Robin Carr (09:29.859)

Mm hmm.

Robin Carr (09:36.955)

Ooh, that's a long journey. How much time do we have? No, I'm just

Robin Carr (09:39.636)

kidding. So very truthfully, my lack of worthiness started when I was a child. It started with my dad and my biological father about six weeks after I was born decided he didn't want to be a part of my life. And when I was old enough to understand, like he did come back into my life, but I was constantly chasing him.

Robin Carr (10:04.315)

And in chasing him, was chasing pain. was chasing the idea that we had to constantly prove to ourselves and to everybody else that we were enough and that we did deserve love and the basic things in life. And unfortunately, I kind of carried that through my entire life through past relationships and through just in general. And even at work, I was the one that was like, sorry, boss. Yes, boss. Whatever you need, boss. Like, because I didn't think that I, did I hit a nerve?

Robin Carr (10:31.507)

I didn't think that I was like good enough because I didn't think that I don't know like some corporate whoever was asking me to do a task and if I didn't do it right now perfectly that it wasn't okay. And I've struggled very hard with the view of perfectionism and I put a lot of stress and a lot of pressure unnecessarily on myself and honest to goodness. I don't know what happened to me in the past year.

Robin Carr (11:02.429)

But in this personal development journey, I finally just woke up one morning and was like, no, no, stop it. And my husband is a godsend. And for years, he's been telling me to stop talking to myself in the way that I was, and the you're not enough, and always apologizing for things that weren't my fault that I couldn't control. But I didn't hear him.

Robin Carr (11:27.699)

for all of those years. And it wasn't until I was in the right mindset and the right time and the right place to really receive what he was saying. And then it just stopped. And then all of a sudden it turned into like, I would catch myself and be like, no, I am worthy. And then I started doing it to my friends and I didn't even consciously mean to, it just kind of erupted. Like my friend would be like, I'm not good enough. Like, I can't do this. I'm like, no, stop it. Shut up. You are like, you're amazing. And it just kind of.

Robin Carr (11:57.35)

happened. So now, maybe I'm on the other end of the spectrum, where maybe I need to tone it down a little bit, but I don't think I believe in that. Like, I think that we are all very worthy and we are all more than enough and the gifts that we all have individually. It's just beautiful. And I have a whole new perspective on life. So that journey has been hard. I'm 34. And it's taken me my whole life to understand that. But

Robin Carr (12:27.621)

I'll say this final thing about that and then we can move forward. The really cool thing to me though is, so I have a 15 year old niece and she started paying attention to the things that I say, which I love, but I love it even more because now she's catching herself at 15 and she's catching other people around her and her friends and she's like, aunt Robin, so and so said they weren't enough today and I put up your video and told them, no ma'am, you are enough.

Robin Carr (12:57.157)

And that just makes my heart so happy. Yeah.

Meredith & Craig (12:59.447)

Yeah,

Meredith & Craig (13:01.748)

it's, legacy, right? Like not only the rip, the, the, the fact that you're doing this work on yourself and the impact that you're having on your immediate circle, but the ripple effect that that has like your niece picking it up and then hurt, you know, teaching, you know, her, her friends and then they're going home and they're teaching their siblings and their parents and like the ripple effect that you're having that decision that you made.

Meredith & Craig (13:26.585)

And the number of people that are impacted by it because of that is so cool. It's interesting because that's the one thing I really didn't see. It's one of the things I really didn't see coming when we got into this work is we work a lot with married couples and their relationship. And it's interesting once they start transforming their relationship, how the kids also respond because kids are going to go out subconsciously and recreate.

Robin Carr (13:51.435)

Yes.

Meredith & Craig (13:56.123)

the relationship they saw growing up. They're gonna go look for that relationship. And when you change your relationship, you change the relationship the kids look for. So

Robin Carr (14:08.625)

Yes. Okay.

Meredith & Craig (14:08.886)

they're now gonna be in a different relationship when they grow up than they were. And then we've got a couple that we work with and we've really been working on self-worth stuff and mirror work and talking to yourself and that kind of thing. And she's been getting the kids to do it. And so she'll send us pictures of her kids that are like eight.

Meredith & Craig (14:25.862)

11, doing, like talking to themselves in mirror, giving themselves high fives, like telling them they love each other. Like it's just the most beautiful thing to see the impact on the kids because I really didn't expect that part. Like that ripple, that first ripple out, I was so focused on the couple that we're working with. I didn't see the impact it was going to have on their kids and then how it expands out from there. So that's been a really cool experience for us that it seems like you're also experiencing, which is cool.

Robin Carr (14:42.641)

Meredith & Craig (14:55.974)

leads me to another question because if someone was listening to this and they haven't taken that same journey that you have and they aren't kind of aware of their own worthiness and their own greatness, are like what's one of the one or two things that you did that really worked for you to

Robin Carr (15:11.121)

I'm

Meredith & Craig (15:12.353)

transform your view of yourself?

Robin Carr (15:15.3)

So I love this question. I had a speaking event last month and someone asked me this question too. I journaled a lot and I started paying attention to this is what people don't realize. It's not just what you say out loud. It's your thoughts. And so I really started paying attention to

Robin Carr (15:38.32)

not just what am I thinking, but how am I thinking it? How am I talking to myself? What is my tonality? Because we pay attention to that when we talk to our best friend or our spouse. We're like, oh, I don't want to hurt their feelings. Like, let me think about how I'm going to say this. But we don't do that with ourselves. That was the biggest lesson that I learned. then I if I had a thought and I wish I could give you an example, I don't have like a great example off the top of my head. But if I had a thought.

Robin Carr (16:07.132)

And whether it was like a woe is me or a super negative thought or all of the bad things are going to happen because of X, I would write it down and then I would write down, OK, what about this is factual? What about this is something that I should actually be afraid of or worried about or insert X that's like a negative emotion? And what about this have I created in my head? Now, that that one's hard to because. And I just did a whole speech on fear, but

Robin Carr (16:36.56)

people put different stories in their brains and then their minds listen to them because they're believable. Just like if you have been in a car accident and you're scared to drive again, well now you are igniting that fear of flight in your brain that tells you that every time you get behind the wheel of a car, something bad's gonna happen. So you have to positively condition yourself to be like, no, I've driven a lot of times and was perfectly fine and...

Robin Carr (17:02.862)

So that's what I started to do. Like I started to really analyze my thoughts and it's very uncomfortable in the beginning. Like you kind of have to have conversations with your head and you're not crazy. Like it's okay. But that's what I had to do. And then I also, this was a big thing too. So my mom, my best friend and my husband, I challenged them and I said, if you hear me say something negative, call me out on it.

Robin Carr (17:33.53)

If hear me talking bad about myself, call me out on it. And that was very powerful, too. And then I read a book called The Magic by Rhonda Byrne, which I highly recommend that one, too. It's all about gratitude. And one of her it's like a 28 day journal prompt. And one of the chapters in that book is that you go seven days without complaining. Now, that sounds pretty easy.

Robin Carr (18:03.028)

ish, but we complain about everything as humans. it's too cold. It's too hot. I've got too many things to do. My kids have like whatever we get ourselves all up in a tizzy. And so every time I would complain, I would write it down and start over. And then I would be grateful for whatever it was that I just complained about. I just said a whole bunch, but it was a very powerful thing that I did. It wasn't just like

Robin Carr (18:32.856)

it didn't just come easy because there's a lot of self work in there that's behind the scenes. And you have to be cognizant enough and vulnerable enough to say, look, I'm not perfect, but I'm trying. And I think that's what makes the biggest difference.

Meredith & Craig (18:46.247)

I love what you just said, Robin, that it takes a lot of work. It didn't just happen. You didn't just wake up one morning and realize, am worthy. Gosh, what was my problem all these 30 years? It took a lot of really intentional work and a high level of accountability. I love that you also recruited your people, your immediate circle to say, I need some help. Hold me accountable.

Meredith & Craig (19:15.887)

Because accountability, responsibility, that's the first, that's kind of the first step. Well, awareness is the first step, but then taking ownership of it after that, being aware of it and then digging your heels in and saying, no, I own this now, I'm accountable, I need your help to hold me accountable, but I am changing and it's not easy work. All that level of journal, that level of self-reflection, that level of internal dialogue, that like,

Robin Carr (19:30.414)

Thank you

Meredith & Craig (19:43.995)

That filter you, you try to put, put on yourself to catch every one of those complaints and every one of those negative thoughts. Cause that's, it can be an avalanche someday. It's like that's it's hard work. And so I just so appreciate you calling that part out. Like this is not easy. It's worth it. The work is worth it for sure, but it's not easy work. Talk to us a little bit about now that you're in a better place from, you know,

Robin Carr (20:10.35)

Meredith & Craig (20:12.432)

with regards to your view of yourself and your worthiness. Talk about the level of work still required to maintain that level of worthiness. Like it's not like, I'm worthy now and then you're just done. Maybe it is. Like let's talk about that. Yeah.

Robin Carr (20:30.028)

I wish. So I'm human, just like everybody else and.

Robin Carr (20:37.07)

I have really awesome days and really, really low days. And it's not like a depression thing. There's just sometimes life is hard. Like whether it's you just lost someone you love, you lost your job. Like right now, I know a lot of people are not getting paid. We're not going to talk about politics, but I know like sometimes life is just hard. And there's certain situations that regardless, if you wake up in the morning and you do your morning routine and you were positive and you were

Meredith & Craig (20:47.783)

Yeah.

Meredith & Craig (20:59.527)

Mm-hmm.

Robin Carr (21:07.05)

You're awesome. You're having a great day. Things happen. And it is still constant. It's easier because now I'm more aware, but it's a constant thing. like even, mean, I still have days when I'm like, I don't understand why is this happening? Why can't things just work out? Like I'm not perfect. I'll tell anybody that, but I'm perfect at trying because I can hear it now and I can say, okay,

Meredith & Craig (21:10.471)

Mm-hmm.

Robin Carr (21:36.066)

Let's back up. Like, here's the things that we can't control and here's the things that we can't control. And I don't know about you guys, but being a type A personality, that is one of the hardest things to handle is that I can't control everything. So it is a constant struggle, but I do love that the people around me now, especially my husband, you know, my inner circle, but even that ripple is getting bigger. They can kind of see when I'm struggling.

Robin Carr (22:04.749)

And so they will ask me and blatantly and be like, okay, what's going on? Like, let's talk about it. And that's really cool for me because it's not just that they're holding me accountable, but that they can see the difference because I will tell anybody very quickly. I am not the person that I was a year ago. I don't even know that girl anymore. And I'm glad that I don't. I mean, I do, but I don't. And

Robin Carr (22:27.732)

Like, it's so cool that they can see it now and they're like, OK, let's talk about this. Like, what's going on in the core here? Where do we need to work on? And my husband started doing this with me, too. And the change that we've noticed, not just in our lives separately, but our lives together and even his life at work and what he does, it's just super powerful. And it's just I mean, it is a constant struggle. But like you said, it is worth it. And I still go back to the miracle morning.

Robin Carr (22:57.196)

And if I'm having a rough day, I might do two miracle mornings because sometimes I need a little extra help and it doesn't have to be morning time. Like I. So when I first started, I was like, OK, my miracle morning, I got to do da da da da da da. And let me just check off these boxes. But now I know myself well enough, like it might be two o'clock in the afternoon. And if I've had a whole bunch of stuff happen, I'm like, hey, I'm going to go for a bike ride. I'm going to go for a run. I'll be back. But that's my space, right?

Robin Carr (23:26.314)

And that's how I know whatever I need to do or not do to like reset my energy and to really tap back into whatever. And I've got certain playlists that I listen to where it's usually during a bike ride. I just sit there and list off all the things that I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for it to have that. own a bike. I'm grateful for a place that's safe to ride a bike. And I just start very basically. And by the end of the mile and a half loop, I'm in a much better place already.

Robin Carr (23:55.436)

So once you find that thing that kind of works for you, you can put it in anywhere. Silence is another big one for me too. I drive a lot for my other job and I do that all the time. Like I'll just sit with my thoughts and make sure that they are healthy thoughts and they're positive and good and uplifting and grateful. So that's, it is still a journey though.

Meredith & Craig (24:18.758)

Yeah, we'll have that. I love you. said a lot there. but the one thing that I, and all good stuff and the one thing that, I keyed in on a little bit that I want go back to was the impact that it's having on your relationship with your husband and how he's kind of joined in and he's doing some of this stuff. Talk to us a little bit more about that because we hear a lot of time when you jump into entrepreneurship, sometimes,

Robin Carr (24:22.326)

haha

Meredith & Craig (24:43.526)

the spouse isn't really, you know, kind of in that world. They're in their corporate, they don't want to jump into the entrepreneurship. And what we realized was when you jump into entrepreneurship, it seems to pull you into personal growth. It just has this way of like, yeah, but your business is going to suck until you start to like work on you. So come along for this ride. Which is really a quick timeout, a really interesting something else we've noticed too, because in corporate,

Robin Carr (24:57.847)

Yeah.

Robin Carr (25:06.144)

Thanks.

Meredith & Craig (25:11.398)

We can be super successful and climb our corporate ladder and get all our promotions and raises without doing any work on ourselves at all. In fact, that perfectionism and that worthiness kind of works in your favor because you're just like, it works in their favor, I guess, but in terms of climbing the corporate ladder. But once you jump out of corporate and into entrepreneurship, it's like, whoa, our business is only going to go as far as we do. So now all of a sudden we have to work on ourselves and that is a totally different ballgame than it used to be. So going back what you were saying.

Robin Carr (25:18.186)

Yes.

Meredith & Craig (25:39.634)

Sometimes that can cause a little friction in the relationship when one is all in on personal growth and this crazy entrepreneurship game and the other one is still in their same role, position, job, business, whatever, it hasn't changed. So talk to us about how that transition has gone for you two as a unit, as a team.

Robin Carr (25:58.98)

Yeah, so it's really funny that you guys bring this up. So my husband from day one

Robin Carr (26:05.834)

corporate, non-corporate, whatever, it has always been my biggest fan and my biggest supporter. When I was laid off, he was trying to help me however he could, quote, find a new job. And I told him, I was like, I don't think I want that. there was, I don't like the word tension because it wasn't like we were arguing and fighting. There was discussions about

Robin Carr (26:32.436)

hey, we have bills to pay and you're not working and what are we gonna do about that? And I was like, well, I'm gonna figure it out but it doesn't look like what your definition is. So as all of this kind of started, it took him a while to kind of understand the personal and the mindset part of it. He's now coming along more than he used to be but he's still not like on the same page with me.

Robin Carr (26:58.42)

Sometimes he stills like, okay, stop with the woo woo, which is what my mama calls like the, all the stuff. But I say this and I laugh because so the competition in New York, we were sitting down, I had just been rehearsing and I just looked at him and I was like, you know, I never really asked you and he was like, you never asked me what? And I was like, are you okay with my life? Like being just like all over the internet and speaking on stages and.

Robin Carr (27:26.952)

whatever and he was like, no, you never did. He's like, sure, I'm good. And I was like, okay. So it was funny though, because like he has always supported me with very minimal questions. But that conversation was comical. we do this thing and I started this last year with him every night. I asked him what he's grateful for. And it's kind of our way because hey, how was your day?

Robin Carr (27:56.052)

kind of gets lost

Meredith & Craig (27:57.842)

Yeah.

Robin Carr (27:57.983)

because it was fine. It was good. It was busy. was in meetings, whatever. Insert X. What are you grateful for? Forces you to stop and think and it forces you to have a cognizant. I am grateful for X whatever. And what's really cool for me is that sometimes he'll say, you know what? Today was a terrible day. I don't really have anything today. What are you grateful for?

Robin Carr (28:22.664)

and I'll start talking about different things and then that'll trigger something for him. Well, now we're both in a better place. to say that I said this in a speech back in August, but that personal development, our marriage has always been good. Now our marriage is phenomenal. Like phenomenal. And I can't stress that enough. Like I wish if there's any marriage counselors out there, please use this. Like

Robin Carr (28:50.142)

They gotta work on themselves to be able to better love each other. Cause I didn't know that.

Meredith & Craig (28:56.808)

Yeah. There's a whole lot of gold in there. Oh man. So like, yeah, we're relationship coaches. You've been listening to our podcast, haven't A lot of stuff that you just said is right from our framework. It's so true. So we've got a framework that's got five, like we believe there's five commitments that make a thriving marriage. I love the word thrive too, by the way. It's five, like the first commitment is actually a hundred percent responsibility, which we've already talked about a little bit. And the second commitment is a commitment to yourself.

Meredith & Craig (29:26.952)

because you can only love someone else to the degree you love yourself and this is the most important relationship you're ever going to have and if you can't get that one right, the rest of them all pile on top of that one. So we are super aligned in our approach to relationships, which I love. And the second thing I wanted to jump in on is we call it a check-in question at night before bed and we say never, the generic how was your day sucks. It gets you out of fine. It was fine.

Robin Carr (29:27.464)

Mm-hmm.

Robin Carr (29:45.276)

Yes.

Robin Carr (29:51.281)

Yes.

Robin Carr (29:53.6)

This is fine.

Meredith & Craig (29:54.587)

It's an auto pilot response. There's no thought. There's no engagement. And so when you ask that question, the person who's saying fine doesn't feel like you actually care anyway, because people ask you all day, every day like, hi, how are you? As you're walking past and like no one actually cares about your answer. So those, those generic questions don't make you feel like anyone actually cares about your answer. But when you ask something specific, like what are you grateful for? What was the best part of your day today?

Meredith & Craig (30:22.034)

What's one thing you learned today? Like something very specific, the other person has to stop to your point and think. And that stopping to think makes them feel like you actually care because they have to do some work now. And it makes you two feel more connected to each other. So it's a little habit at the end of the day that kind of just solidifies your connection at the end of the day. And so I love that you guys are doing that. That's so cool. What made you start doing that or where did you

Robin Carr (30:32.937)

Meredith & Craig (30:51.452)

Where did you or was it just organic? Like it just came to you? Like where, where did it come from?

Robin Carr (30:58.151)

It was some time when I was reading the magic and

Robin Carr (31:02.941)

This was another one of those times when life was hitting hard because I wasn't working and I used to make a lot more money than he did. And so there was a lot of tension. If you will, we weren't fighting just like financial tension tension and stuff. But I started reading the magic and then I started journaling with her prompts about what I was grateful for. And it made me feel better.

Robin Carr (31:32.185)

And it made like, and I started being grateful for the money that we do have or did have and the money that we had in savings and that we were okay and that we had been smart with our money even to be so young. I remember I journaled about money like a lot because I was like, that was my pain point. And so when I started doing that and then it made me feel better. Well, it kind of started as a joke a little bit because I don't remember what happened, but he had had like a rough.

Robin Carr (32:01.948)

day for the record, like he's active duty military. So he had had a very rough day and I just remember talking to him and like he was just angry, like not at me, just about his day and it had just been bad. And I just looked at him and was like, what are you grateful for? And he's like, what the, are you talking about? Like I'm mad right now. And I was like, yeah, but what are you grateful for? And it like stopped, it like changed his whole

Robin Carr (32:32.283)

demeanor because like we said, like he had to stop and think about, okay, I do have things to be grateful for. And then it just kind of took off from there. I think about gratitude 24 seven. He and I talk about gratitude at nighttime because he does get a little annoyed with me. He loved it. He's just like, I'm just not there yet. Like, like, because

Robin Carr (32:58.149)

Rhonda Byrne in her book, she gives the example of if you get a speeding ticket, that you're grateful for the police officers who kept you safe and that you didn't hit someone else or you didn't hurt someone else. And that's how I've started living my life. A thousand percent. And so the two of us together. And he'll do it for me, too. Like if I'm having a rough day, now he started like, what are you grateful for? And it helps a lot because it flips it.

Robin Carr (33:27.269)

And it makes you back in that, what I call my happy space, my happy little bubble. But yeah, I mean, it's huge. Like the impact is just so different versus, I had a crap day. Now I'm going to be ugly to my spouse and now I'm going to be ugly to the dog or the neighbor or the whatever. Like that one little sentence, what are you grateful for? And it's just like, I have goosebumps.

Meredith & Craig (33:49.992)

Yeah.

Meredith & Craig (33:52.303)

It's so hard to be angry when you're thinking about what you're grateful for. it just, it's the switch flips. Like you can't hold both energies at the same time. So you're either going to be angry or you're going to be grateful, but you can't be both. Yeah. And align so perfectly with something we always say is the universe is always working in your favor. Going back to your, your example of the speeding ticket. It's like, yeah, it sucked that I have to pay this fine, but

Robin Carr (34:05.115)

You can't be both. That's exactly right.

Meredith & Craig (34:18.941)

you know what, universe working in my favor. If I didn't get pulled over, maybe I do hit someone down the road a little bit further. And so it's just the universe working in your favor, teaching you that lesson so that you can move forward and do better next time. You had a quote, a gold nugget, and it's your past does not define you. It prepares you. I like

Robin Carr (34:38.013)

Facts.

Meredith & Craig (34:38.148)

that. love that. So good. Talk to us about that.

Robin Carr (34:41.351)

Yeah, so as I was preparing for New York, because so just to give you guys a little bit of information about those that competition. So day one was a 10 minute speech on your professional story. Day two was a five minute speech on your personal journey or story. So I'm writing my speech. I'm practicing like I'm rehearsing, like I'm trying different language or whatever. And I just said it. And when I said it, I was like,

Robin Carr (35:10.5)

Let me sit with that for a minute. And as I sat with it, of course, I journaled about it because that's my thing. It's so true because, like I told you guys, like my life was not always sunshine and rainbows. But my past, I used to think define me. I used to believe that I was a victim and that all of these things had happened to me.

Robin Carr (35:37.829)

But now I understand, like you said about the universe and things working in your favor. Everything happened for me. And that change in my attitude. It really those simple words. That that's what it is like. Yeah, you can play the victim card, you can play the whoa was me card, you can play the whatever card you want to play. But when you start to realize like all of these things, even the bad things, which took me a very long time to understand.

Robin Carr (36:09.271)

Very long time. Even those things happened for your greater good. They happened so that I could have a healthy, healthy marriage now that I could be a healthy and a healthy headspace. So it doesn't it prepares you for who you're supposed to be in life. That's what I believe. I believe that everything that I went through in my past was preparing me to be able to serve the people that I need to serve right now.

Robin Carr (36:38.883)

Because I, yeah, there's plenty of people that get up here and they talk about things that they know nothing about. They try to pretend, which is so sad that they have all these things that never actually happened to them. But when you've lived it, and like you said, I've been through that worthiness journey. I understand. And so if you come to me and you're like, Robin, I don't know how to feel like my life has meaning. Cool, let's talk about it. I've been there.

Meredith & Craig (37:06.099)

Mm-hmm.

Robin Carr (37:07.737)

And when you can connect with people from a much deeper place, it's so much more genuine and authentic and it's easier. And what I've found is that people love that energy. They love that I am, I have a heart of a servant and I will genuinely care about them. Like once you're in my circle and I get to know you, I pick up on different things. And if I'm like, hey, you're not yourself today, what's up? Like, let's talk about it. Let's get on a call.

Robin Carr (37:38.889)

And that's just who I am. So like I have leaned hard into that, like something that just came out of my mouth accidentally. I don't believe that it was by accident. Not for a second.

Meredith & Craig (37:49.384)

No. Yeah. I also love what you just said towards the end there about you, you are genuinely you and people connect with that. And that for me ties back to what we talked about earlier in this episode about perfectionism. You went through a hard perfectionism season for a long time, as did I, as did he. People don't connect with perfection. When you portray that perfectionist persona out to the world, which we

Robin Carr (38:13.061)

Thank

Meredith & Craig (38:16.938)

all three of us I think, tried to do for a long time, people don't connect with that. Because we all know on the inside that we're not perfect. So if I think that you're perfect, I was like, well, shoot, I can't connect with her at all. And so you actually repel people by trying to be this perfect version of you. But when you show up as you, as the messy, beautiful you that you are,

Meredith & Craig (38:39.987)

People connect to genuine, people connect to messy, people connect to imperfect, and that's why you can create such beautiful connections and relationships with people because you show up as you are.

Robin Carr (38:46.575)

Thank

Meredith & Craig (38:52.787)

thriving unapologetically. Talk to us five years from now. Where are we? do you see for yourself and thrive unapologetically?

Robin Carr (38:55.236)

you

Robin Carr (39:07.95)

Are you guys still there? I'm sorry.

Meredith & Craig (39:10.249)

Yeah, I think your network just kind of bumped a little bit. Are you good now? You're still here?

Robin Carr (39:18.116)

I'm still here. Hopefully.

Meredith & Craig (39:19.29)

a little

Meredith & Craig (39:25.033)

Little choppy. see. Let's see if this clears up. Give it a second. Just nothing we can do. Just letting you know. Robin's network updated. Nothing you have to do. Just letting you know. OK. She looks like she's frozen a little bit. Yeah. We'll just give her a minute. Yeah.

Meredith & Craig (40:13.707)

Let's see if she hops back on. I'm sure she does. There we go.

Robin Carr (40:24.233)

my gosh, I'm so sorry. My whole internet just like dropped out.

Meredith & Craig (40:24.81)

Yeah,

Meredith & Craig (40:28.412)

you're good. good. good. Like you said, it's why we don't do it live. Stuff like this happens all the time. All the time. Yeah.

Robin Carr (40:32.762)

I love that. Okay, so I heard you say

Robin Carr (40:37.538)

thrive unapologetically and I heard what she said, but I didn't get anything after that. I am so sorry.

Meredith & Craig (40:46.382)

No, you're good. So my question was five years down the line, we're looking at five years. What do you see for Robin Carr and thrive unapologetically? Where are we headed? What are you excited

Robin Carr (40:56.88)

Yeah,

Meredith & Craig (40:57.175)

about?

Robin Carr (40:58.66)

a lot. So I am super excited to be on bigger stages, making that ripple a lot bigger. But also, I've got really big dreams. So I'm to be in my first anthology next year. I'm going to write my own book because I want to and because people are already asking me for it. I might write a couple of books because I kind of started and was like, well, this doesn't make sense over here. Like, maybe I should. We'll see.

Robin Carr (41:26.832)

Five years from now. All right. I'm going to give you guys my big my big goal dreams. My husband is retiring from the military. He can in five years. So my my dream and I told him this the other day and he kind of chuckled but I want to be on stages and doing enough through this business through coaching and everything else that we are traveling the world and I am speaking.

Robin Carr (41:57.05)

to the many but that we are together traveling the world and doing the things that we love. And that this business that I'm starting now is paying for all of that. Like that his retirement money is just gonna be our like, okay, let's have fun and do whatever kind of money. That's the dream.

Meredith & Craig (42:14.751)

Yeah,

Meredith & Craig (42:16.472)

that's awesome. That's very cool. it. What's the two questions? One, what's the anthology you're in? And two, I want to hear more about the book you're writing.

Robin Carr (42:26.234)

Yeah, so I am also part of Jesse Cruz group and his wife Desiree Cruz and Desiree Cruz has a series called Warrior Women. It's this is now the fourth book in that series. And so that's the anthology that I'm in. So I just met I met Jesse a year ago. I just met Desiree last month at the competition. She is phenomenal.

Robin Carr (42:53.776)

But I already want all of the books because of the women that I already know that are in her circle that are in previous versions. It's gonna be very cool. And my chapter is on empowerment. I don't know exactly what yet, but I'm headlining the cruise So it's super awesome. Very excited about that. My book.

Robin Carr (43:17.071)

No, I have a lot of ideas. I am a mindset coach. I am teetering on being a trauma coach to trauma is a very large umbrella and all of it needs to be approached very differently. Part of me wants to share that part of my story and like the real deep depths of the personal and then how to get where I am today.

Robin Carr (43:46.316)

without being too graphic, like when you can be grateful for those kinds of things in your life, that's a whole nother level. I also have had the thought about the journey of actually building a business and not even knowing what Linktree was until yesterday. That happened.

Meredith & Craig (44:06.09)

been there.

Robin Carr (44:09.132)

There's just so many things and the fact that you need a business coach and by the way, like now you need a speaking coach and now you need this person. And by the way, do you have a personal assistant yet? Like things that I had not even thought about yet. So I may do something like that. There's a lot of things that I could spend, but I love the one the most. That's my story and trying to not make it 10,000 pages, but putting in from like the trauma to the corporate to

Robin Carr (44:38.764)

you know, where I am now in entrepreneurship. I don't remember which book it was, but I loved it because he had multiple chapters in one, like, section of a book. And then he had, a whole different idea in the middle and a whole different idea in the end. And that's kind of what I'm thinking is like maybe not three or four books, but just smaller versions in one book.

Robin Carr (45:06.712)

But that's what I'm thinking about, because I think, especially with the trauma stuff, especially with the enough stuff and the worthy stuff, people need to hear all of that as many times as they can and however they can get their hands on it. But I want to do something. I love that because I want to do something funky, though, and like make the title something else like call it a taco stand. But I sell wings kind of thing.

Meredith & Craig (45:20.83)

Yep. Couldn't agree.

Meredith & Craig (45:35.156)

Yeah.

Robin Carr (45:35.724)

Because

Robin Carr (45:36.325)

for people in those situations, they can't always read self-help books without repercussions. But they might could read a recipe book.

Meredith & Craig (45:45.492)

Yeah.

Meredith & Craig (45:49.129)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Robin Carr (45:51.086)

So I kind of have that idea to where it would look like they were reading something else maybe, but actually it would be helping them. It's kind of what I want to do.

Meredith & Craig (45:57.635)

Yeah.

Meredith & Craig (46:00.855)

Very cool. Very cool. Yeah. Embrace all of the ideas. Like one of the things that we got hung up on early days was it had to be done a certain way. Like, so someone would tell us like, Oh, this is how I did it. And it's like, okay, we're super coachable. And so we're like, okay, we'll do it that way. And what we realized eventually was, no, no, no, he's showing us how it worked for him. And you can take lessons from, from his journey or their journey.

Robin Carr (46:25.198)

Robin Carr (46:26.239)

Yeah. Yeah.

Meredith & Craig (46:26.472)

And apply it to your, but you have to follow your heart. You have to follow your intuition. You have to listen to your own voice and you have to write things and portray things in your voice. You're not them. You're you. So all your ideas, you know, you can do it funky. can do it weird. You got that idea for a reason. Right? So do your self-help cookbook. Like if, if that's what, you know, is on your heart,

Meredith & Craig (46:51.382)

do it. And we just, we just finished writing our book and.

Robin Carr (46:51.857)

Okay. Okay.

Meredith & Craig (46:56.552)

We took a very different take than most relationship books. And so we're interested to see how that goes. Yeah, we just wrote a book called The 200 % Marriage that's coming out in January. And it's very much not like any other relationship book. We took a very different approach, tone, voice, everything.

Meredith & Craig (47:16.946)

It's very not a traditional relationship book. So

Meredith & Craig (47:20.21)

we've gone way out into like the far lane here and we're gonna see how it goes. So we're with you. We're swimming in the deep end with you. Yeah.

Robin Carr (47:20.78)

Robin Carr (47:27.427)

So please send me that link because you already have my interest. like, want it. Like, can I pre-buy? That's amazing. I love that.

Meredith & Craig (47:33.386)

Meredith & Craig (47:36.392)

We will look for sure. Yeah, yeah, we'll definitely get you that. So how can people get in touch with you Robin? Yeah.

Robin Carr (47:41.76)

Yeah, absolutely. So right now I'm going to be very honest. My website is under construction. The best way to get in touch with me right now is either Facebook or email. So Facebook or Instagram, either one, it's just at the Robin Carr. And my email is robin.a.car8 at gmail.com. Either one of those are fantastic.

Robin Carr (48:10.45)

My website will be up and running soon and it will be phenomenal. I started with a very basic website. I have very quickly outgrown it. So it is going to be back and better than ever.

Meredith & Craig (48:23.562)

Congratulations. That's exciting. That's awesome. And we'll have all of those links in the show notes. Yes, for sure. can click. Easy access, Robin. Yeah. Well, Robin, this was such pleasure. Thank you so much for joining us. just love your energy, love your message. We are 100 % behind you, anything we can do.

Robin Carr (48:30.166)

Perfect.

Robin Carr (48:43.756)

Awesome. Thank you guys so much. I so enjoyed this. I love you guys as well. This is, I'm so happy and grateful for CLA that I can connect with people like you guys, because I don't think I ever would have met you otherwise. And this was very powerful. So thank you. Thank you both.

Meredith & Craig

Thanks for listening to this episode of the Road of Life podcast. Remember, your business will only grow as strong as your marriage does. So what's one action you're going to take this week? To put something you learned in this episode into practice. We love a good chit chat, as much as the next person, but without action, you stay where you are. If you want to turn your marriage into the engine that drives your business forward instead of the brakes keeping itself, book a free marriage and business strategy session with us at www.200percentmarriage.com/strategycall.

We'll see you next week.