Listen Now

Episode Transcription

Meredith & Craig (02:25.718)

Welcome to the show, Margie Dunke Jacobs. We're really excited to have you Margie, thanks for joining us.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (02:32.368)

Thanks for having me. I'm glad to be here.

Meredith & Craig (02:35.404)

Well, awesome. Well, let's kick it right off. So why don't you just jump in with a little bit about what you do, but mostly about how you got to this point in your life. What brings you here?

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (02:45.448)

my goodness, well, what I do now, I consider myself a breakthrough success coach for people because there was a time when I had the family that said, go to college, go to work. So I did that very thing and I was happy because I thought that's what there was in life. And then I started to travel and then I started to see other people, how they were living in. There was never a jealousy or an envy, but there was a curiosity of how are they doing that?

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (03:14.584)

outgoing to a nine to five job. So that kind of got into me, into my spirit. And as I was working every day and leaving work, I would plug in, okay, dating in the CD player, all the Tony Robbins and the Zig Ziglar's and the Brian Tracy's and started to just really understand that what I was doing was temporary so that I could work on my fortune full time. Because at the time I was working on it part time.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (03:45.092)

So as I went to work, I realized that there was a bigger plan. And my goal was to get our children through the years, the formative years, the college, and then go do what I wanted to do. And that's what I'm doing now. And I've done it for the last seven years. We moved after 46 years, picked up, and I just said, I'm going. You coming? That was it. That was the plan.

Meredith & Craig (04:08.008)

Love it. It's interesting. We also made the jump from corporate world to entrepreneurship journey, we'll call it. And I want to hear a bit more about your transition because for us, it was not smooth. And so I'm curious what your transition from from like, living that corporate life because we grew up the same way. They go to school, get good grades, get a good job, work your way up that corporate ladder. And, you know, we were good at that.

Meredith & Craig (04:33.044)

And that transition was tough. So I'm curious. Walk me through what your transition was like.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (04:38.426)

Well, so I went to corporate and then I decided I was a little bit like I saw what people were down the road. They weren't happy. So I went back to school and became a court stenographer. And I did that in, in the, you know, the verbatim thing, met an attorney who ran a hospitality, who ran a resort, a family resort. He asked me one time, what are you doing this weekend? And

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (05:03.718)

I just said I type transcripts. It's what I do every weekend of my life, like a robot. I remember answering the question like a robot. And he said, come and interview at my resort. And I'm like, I've just spent two years working full-time, going back to school, making this much money. There's no way I'm coming to the resort and working for you for this much money. But I did the interview, I fell in love, and I went and worked for them for the next 14 years.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (05:31.07)

So interestingly, from that point, once I left the job to raise the girls with my husband, and then when it came time for them to go to college, I'm thinking, what do I do now? So I went to work at a university and I worked there for the last 10 years to get them that degree. And that transition happened with every kind of like thing falling in place along the way of what do I do now?

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (06:00.864)

Nobody's stuck. We all say we're stuck. You're not stuck. It's just ask that question. What do I do now? Or what's possible?

Meredith & Craig (06:10.947)

It reminds me of a book I read a few years ago called Getting to Neutral. My biggest takeaway from that book is he always asks, what's the next right step for you? You don't need to know the whole transition. You don't need to know the whole road. What's the next right step for you to take? I really like that takeaway. really like that premise because you're never going to know.

Meredith & Craig (06:36.608)

You're never going to see the whole row. You're never going to know exactly how it's going to turn out. But if you can just figure out the next step and then the next one will reveal itself and then the next one will reveal itself, because I'm sure you could never have plotted your exact route from court stenographer to resort to like you never would have made that plan that route looking forward. You would only be able to see that route like, now I understand why I did all of those things, because if I wasn't the court reporter stenographer, I wouldn't have met the lawyer. I wouldn't have gone to the

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (06:42.597)

Yes.

Meredith & Craig (07:05.831)

resort, all the things wouldn't have happened if you hadn't taken the next right step. So think that's really cool.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (07:12.708)

Yeah,

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (07:13.26)

saying yes, saying yes to you, right? Yes. Then going, okay, now what?

Meredith & Craig (07:16.407)

Yeah.

Meredith & Craig (07:19.766)

Yes. And to your point, because you kind of were on the fence about the resort gig, right? You were like, but you said yes. And then it led to this 14 year career at this resort, which then now take us from the resort to breakthrough success coach. What does that transition look like? How do you get from there to there?

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (07:40.966)

Well, I can tell you true, we were also trying to have children and for eight and a half years we were not successful because I was working literally 18 hour days making a boatload of money. And guess what? That doesn't buy you. It doesn't buy you that. And when I remember when the doctor said, you just need to calm down and have a glass of wine. I'm like, please, if it were that easy. And so.

Meredith & Craig (07:56.416)

Yeah.

Meredith & Craig (08:05.931)

you

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (08:08.11)

I got pregnant when I was working at that resort and ended up having two, we had two children and they became my priority. They became everything. So as I worked, I stayed home and had to figure out those next steps doing things from home. I loved, this is back before we have all these opportunities right now online,

Meredith & Craig (08:29.474)

Mm-hmm.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (08:29.676)

but I started to see the different picture of what our life could look like if I stayed the course.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (08:37.06)

And one thing that I noticed is friends came to me for advice a lot. So I started just coaching them in a way and then coaching my friends, kids, grown kids to help them through things. And I just thought, what if this could be my path? So I've always had it in the back of my mind. The day my children graduated, it was like game on. You have a two year window.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (09:06.906)

to figure out how you're gonna go from full-time living in Vermont, freezing cold, 46 years, to living in South Carolina now, very warm, very happy. And figuring out when I came down here, my natural instinct would be go back and get another job. But there's something inside of you when you're obsessed with like figuring this out, you just start networking with people.

Meredith & Craig (09:26.882)

Mm-hmm.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (09:35.43)

That's the key, the networking, meeting people like you, meeting people that are out there doing it differently. And that's the transition right there. Boom, I can do this. Boom, they've done it. Boom, it's possible.

Meredith & Craig (09:48.288)

Yeah, it feels so vaguely familiar. But it's so interesting because it was the same for us. It's the people you surround yourself with when you can see what's possible. If you were only seeing people that were living life the old way, the way that you used to live life that you did not want to do anymore, it's a lot harder to start to make that transition because you don't see someone else doing life the way you want to be doing it. But when you surround yourself with people who are doing life and doing the things that you want to be doing it,

Meredith & Craig (10:17.58)

it seems so much more possible. So like the community that you have around you makes such a difference in how you move forward.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (10:26.564)

Yes, definitely. Yes.

Meredith & Craig (10:29.913)

So talk to us a little bit about that community. what was it? Did you join networking groups? Did you join masterminds? Like what was the community that really or communities that really elevated you to keep pushing and keep growing?

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (10:44.162)

Yes. So my husband retired after 39 years and one day at IBM. He retired as an engineer. So we moved together. Those were my four words to him. I'm going, you coming? That's He's smart man. He We knew no one and we got down here and I thought I'm going to still know no one if I don't get out and network. So I just went on meetups.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (11:12.654)

I looked where I could find people. went, I would tell everybody, hey, I just moved here. I don't know anybody. And people just embrace you into their communities. And before you know it, you're networking with a whole new group of people that you've never met. That brought on conferences. Then I started attending conferences and flying places. And that's, that's where it all started. Yes.

Meredith & Craig (11:39.683)

That's amazing. I mean, it takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there like that in a new place where you don't know anyone doing something new. Congratulations. That's something to really be celebrated because it takes a lot of courage to put yourself in an uncomfortable situation like that over and over again.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (11:55.878)

Well, thanks, Meredith, but if it's courage versus, I have to go back to work, you're going to choose courage.

Meredith & Craig (12:03.972)

Yeah, for sure.

Meredith & Craig (12:06.552)

Talk to us a little bit about your relationship with your husband. So he was at IBM for 39 years. And a lot of times for us, when we talk with entrepreneurs, when one person is an entrepreneur and other person is still in the corporate world or is not as entrenched or not on that journey of entrepreneurship, sometimes that pull for growth, because in entrepreneurship, we know that

Meredith & Craig (12:28.479)

our business is only going to grow to the amount that we're personally able to grow and go on that journey. And so we find that sometimes when that entrepreneur goes on that journey, the other person doesn't want you and it causes a little bit of tension or friction. Help us understand how was that for you guys in that was he like super on board and supportive? Cause it sounds like he was like when he left IBM, he's like, yep, I'm coming with you. Let's go. Let's do this thing. But was it that simple?

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (12:53.49)

Yeah. No. And I

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (12:58.53)

remember doing a leadership training. It was called gratitude training. And my friend said, I think you should do this. It's, it's $95 until midnight. Otherwise it goes back up to $495. I think it would be good for you. It's four days. I like gratitude training. I'm so grateful. I can't imagine what I would do in four days. I said, no.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (13:22.054)

And then she said to me, and she had known me into a leadership role, like in network marketing and things like that. I think it would be really good for you. It's well worth the 95. If you can't swing it, I can. And I'm like, well, of course I can swing it. It's just, I don't get what it is. Well, I signed up and it was 10 o'clock at night. We were in Vermont. We had sold our house. We were moving here. And I said to my husband, I'm going to this gratitude training. Won't I get there? Cause we know no one.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (13:51.534)

and at least I'll meet people." And he said, I don't want you to be four days more grateful than I am. So let's go together. And I'm like, wait, what? Who is this? So when we did that, that was a huge step. But when we first got here, it was four months out before we did that training. And when I told him that I had these big plans for network marketing, that we would do well with money,

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (14:20.43)

I, it wasn't, I didn't align with it. I mean, some people do, some people don't, but I just didn't align with having all my friends. And so it did get a little bit difficult. However, I'm super fortunate that he supported my vision. So, so important, not that he was wanting to do it too, cause I dragged him to the first two conferences and I mean, literally dragged him.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (14:50.522)

And we would get there and he'd be like, I'm just gonna go back to the room. You stay and you have fun. And I'm like, well, why did I bring you? And then I got, would get mad because I was trying to make him want it as much as I did. When our relationship got really solid and really good in our 35th year of marriage, it was when I released him to just be who he wants to be.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (15:18.2)

And he just said, I'm just going to support what you want to do. Now, we're better than that.

Meredith & Craig (15:25.825)

That's awesome. it's so, such a really great example of, you know, we see, we hear it all the time with entrepreneurs who want to, they, they want so badly for their spouse to want it like they want it. And so they pull and it actually causes that friction. think you felt that a little bit in the beginning. And then it was until you released that expectation of them and they just, and your husband just said, you know, I don't want.

Meredith & Craig (15:51.553)

the exact same thing. I don't want to be a part of it the same way you are, but I'm here with you to support you on your journey. And that means everything, right? Like when you have that person who's right there supporting, clapping when you win, gives you momentum, especially when you're starting your business early days and you're just like, I don't know if this is the right thing or the right pet. Having that person cheer you on and celebrate you gives you that extra little bit of boost and motivation to keep going.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (16:19.782)

Yeah, and it's not easy. Like when you go from a full-time salary of 401k, you've got health benefits, and now you're paying for health benefits $1,200 a month. Now you don't have full-time income coming in. It gets a little hairy. Like, what are we going to do? And how is this going to work? you know, so I can't say we didn't have friction, but what we had was

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (16:48.888)

a vision that we were together in this world and let's, as long as we were just good people and we weren't going to, you know, take off with somebody else that what are we here for? We're here for our kids and we're here for the next generations and here to show them. So that was it. We, just kind of locked hands and said, let's do this. You don't need to believe what I believe. And I don't need to, you know, because we're different people, but if you have the same vision, you just lock hands and go.

Meredith & Craig (17:19.416)

Margie, I love that because one of the sort of pillars of our relationship framework is having your North Star, having that vision, that shared common vision of where you're going. When you know that you're both sort of in the same boat, rowing in the same direction toward the same big goals, it keeps things in perspective. You don't have to be doing the same thing. In fact, it's a stronger team leverages each other's strengths and everyone's not playing the same position on the team.

Meredith & Craig (17:48.866)

because you both have the vision of where you're going, you can, to your point, lock hands and walk in that direction together. We call it, usually people say teamwork makes the dream work, but we actually think it's the opposite. It's having that clear vision, that clear dream of where you're headed that makes the team work. Cause it gets you on the same side and moving in the same direction. So I love that, that you're living that right now, that you're personifying that exact part of our pillar. It's beautiful.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (18:18.864)

Thanks.

Meredith & Craig (18:20.749)

So you said, think you said or I read that you've been married 42 years. First of all, congratulations. That's amazing.

Meredith & Craig (18:33.444)

What has been the key to that success for you guys? 42 years is hugely successful. And I know based on your story so far, there's been some ups and downs. There has to be in 42 years. Bottom line, what's been the most, I know the attribute or the skills or the thing that's brought you the most success in your marriage? And not just being together 42 years, because there's marriages that are together 42 years, but they're not thriving.

Meredith & Craig (19:02.564)

Sounds like you're at 42 years and it's the best it's ever been. And that's different than just 42 years and just waiting for, you know, the end of time to happen. Right.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (19:11.918)

Exactly.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (19:13.479)

Exactly. Well, I know that the answer is communication. I know that without a doubt, it's just communicating with each other of what your needs are and what your wants are. But I'm going to tell you when and my husband would kill me if I told this online and here I go. But, you know, when we were 15 years in and you've got two kids running around and I'm in sweatpants half

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (19:39.024)

time, but this is what I wanted. I wanted kids, I wanted to stay home, you know, with the kids and have him work. Like, it was all working, so I thought, but I felt invisible, unseen. I didn't feel like I was contributing. And so I said to my husband, I think I just want to have an affair. And he goes, have it with me. Like, he didn't even miss, he didn't even miss, like,

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (20:04.282)

The whole thing, I was just trying to get a reaction out of him. It's good thing he's not home right now so I can be free to talk. But, and so he goes, have it with me. And so crazily, you know, for the next like month or two, we just were pretending like he would come in and I'd say, well, I've just put the kids down and my husband isn't home. And so we would pretend to like have this affair, whatever. It's a little crazy, but I will tell you what that did.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (20:33.272)

it generated a dating effect for us again. It generated the him bringing home the flowers, the me getting out of my sweatpants and putting my hair, you know, my makeup on and being there for him and listening and going and having coffee, like crazy. So 35 years in when I wanted to leave Vermont and he did not want to go. When we came down here,

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (21:00.646)

We took that leadership training and you walk in the door and you came with somebody do not sit next to them. And so nobody knew we were a couple the whole time, four days of gratitude training. No one knew. And one of the things that changed during that time is I felt like I had always said, well, you should do this or, you know, I'm going and here's what I want. Here's what.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (21:30.478)

And what that taught us was I just needed to let him be him and let me be me. And so that's what changed our relationship. It made us so incredibly close. Like when we came down here, we're kind of on the verge of like, this is what I'm doing and I don't care if you do it or yes or no. They're not really that harsh, but yes.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (21:59.718)

because he didn't really want to come. And yet he did come and he said, well, when I'm there for 35 years, could you been here for 35 years, then we're going to call it quits. And I'm like, So what happened during that transition is I literally had written down all the reasons I didn't want to stay married. And my list of wanting to stay married was very short.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (22:26.86)

After we did that training where no one knew we were a couple until the very last day, I ripped up that list because it didn't need to exist. Let's just talk about why we want to be married and let's just focus on that the rest of our lives or as long as we're breathing.

Meredith & Craig (22:44.889)

Yeah, I love that Margie. Cause when you focus on the good, you find more good. If you focus on the list of why you don't want to be married, you're going to find more of that. When you focus on why you do, you're going to find more of that. That's, mean, there's a lot to unpack in this. There is a lot to unpack there. And I love the unconventional way that you kept the spark alive and kept and, and reintroduced the dating and the fun and the adventure, which are all things that

Meredith & Craig (23:14.179)

are so necessary. They're pillars in our framework of like the fun and adventure. Your relationship should be fun and adventurous. And the way you guys introduced that in there was having an affair with each other, which is a really cool kind of dynamic that's a little, most people would say unconventional, but it worked for you. And it's what actually ended up being the biggest game changer in your marriage. It's so cool.

Meredith & Craig (23:41.603)

Well, and I want to go back again because I feel like I'm hearing a theme for you and your husband is once you've released each other from the expectations you had, that's come up a couple of times. You let him be him and let you, I feel like you could have written the Let Them A Theory by Mel Robbins before she did. But you let him be him and you let yourself be you and he let you be you. And when you're

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (24:00.484)

I know what you're ready to hear now.

Meredith & Craig (24:11.024)

When you're released from the, when we hold people to expectations, either communicated or uncommunicated, it's like we're making them play by our set of rules and our set of rules are made up for us to win. When we release the person we love from our expectations and let them rise to their potential and let them be the person they're meant to be, they feel seen.

Meredith & Craig (24:35.033)

which is one thing that was missing for you early days, they feel seen and they feel appreciated for who they are instead of always trying to change them into the version of them that you want them to be. None of us feel seen, heard, appreciated, respected or valued when we're constantly feeling like we're not enough, when we're constantly feeling like we're not meeting someone else's expectations. mean, there's an epidemic of low self-worth in the world as it is and we constantly are piling our expectations on somebody else. We're just...

Meredith & Craig (25:02.681)

continuing to kind of chip away at their self-worth. And so I just, think this theme is coming up and it's just so important to highlight that once you released each other from those expectations, you kind of were burying each other in that everything got easier.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (25:18.692)

Right? I really do think that there's a book there that we could write together called No Expectations. Literally. And once you were talking, it just came to me. It's like, yeah, we could write a book called No Expectations.

Meredith & Craig (25:25.893)

Ooh, I like that. I love this.

Meredith & Craig (25:34.277)

think

Meredith & Craig (25:34.457)

that book needs to happen. I think that book needs to happen, Margie. I love that.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (25:39.359)

I do because you know what, no, I lost my thought. What most people think that you were saying about how we have these expectations of each other and that we don't let ourselves, and I've heard people say, well, you're not the person I married. Good. Because can you imagine if...

Meredith & Craig (25:57.903)

Right?

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (26:02.272)

Throughout your entire life you stayed that person and then I say that's why I'm leaving you because you're not the person I married Wow, so I said to my husband I hope I never Remain the person that you married. I want to grow I never want to stay there

Meredith & Craig (26:24.737)

So what's your main, like, cause you talked about being a breakthrough success coach. What's your main kind of message or what's your main theme with the breakthrough success? Like what's the nugget, the theme that kind of runs through your coaching.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (26:39.654)

It's really about waking people up. It's really about them saying, just feel stuck. I don't know what to do next. And so that's how they're living their mindset. That's how they're living their life. I just feel stuck. I feel shut down. feel, I feel, I feel all these things. I feel defeated. feel shut. So if you weren't shut down and you were focused on what's possible, what would you be doing?

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (27:08.644)

So if you, let's take the word defeated out of it. Let's focus on what you can be doing and what you're determined to do. And now tell me what's possible. So when people have this breakthrough, they're like, wow, I'm in control of many of my feelings. Not all of them, but I'm in control of moving myself out of this place. They aren't stuck.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (27:38.118)

You just need a mindset shift. That's it.

Meredith & Craig (27:42.437)

So is it fair to say that your ideal person, your ideal client is someone who's not sure that they're kind of drifting through life. They're not really sure of their next step and they need help getting unstuck and kind of seeing what's possible for them. Yeah.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (27:59.684)

Absolutely. And I

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (28:01.424)

very much focused on women for a while because I connected a little bit differently with them. But in the relationship that I have with my husband, and now at least a dozen male clients as well, I realized that men need this kind of coaching as well. More, I'm not gonna genderize, but I just feel like sometimes

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (28:28.432)

they're more afraid to ask for is what I'm experiencing. And I don't want to make that a blanket statement of any kind. But I get so excited to see anybody have that aha that now I don't limit it to just.

Meredith & Craig (28:48.837)

That's so interesting. I want to keep talking about this, the stuck and being in control piece for a minute because I want to bounce an idea off you and see what you think of it because we've done a of work and a lot of thinking and a lot of content around discipline and how when you live in the future, you know, that's where anxiety and worry and stress lives when you're living in the future. But when you live

Meredith & Craig (29:15.705)

for the future, like in service of the future of where you're going, you're willing to make sacrifices in the moment for the thing you feel like doing right now for the things that you ultimately want long term. As opposed to when you live for the present, you're living for the feelings that you have. I don't feel like going to the gym today. I'm living for the present, so I'm not gonna go to the gym because I don't feel like doing that even though...

Meredith & Craig (29:40.047)

you know, 10 year version of me, 75 year old me really wants me to go to the gym today so that I can be, you know, healthy and mobile as I get older. And when you live in the present, you know, you're living in the present moment, that's where your memories are made, your happiness exists. is it fair? Is it a fair assumption from my part that when you're living for the present, for how you feel right now, instead of for the future, you stay stuck, you're more likely to stay stuck where you are because you're just

Meredith & Craig (30:09.699)

living in this present moment only, you're only living for what you feel like doing right now instead of in service of what you ultimately want in your life.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (30:19.344)

Such a good question. And there could be two answers to this, but I feel like I do live in the present all the time. Like at this moment, I'm happy. At this moment, I'm focused. At this moment, I'm working on exactly what I want to be working on. I'm not worried about the finances or the family or the relate. Like I'm happy. So it helps me to stay present.

Meredith & Craig (30:30.118)

Mm-hmm.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (30:49.528)

right now and do the things that need to be done so that it'll be. But if I didn't add in that piece of like, you know, if I stay focused on this, then in a month, we could be here financially, or we could be here in our relationship. So I say it's got two answers. It's got like, it keeps me excited to stay in the present. And yet if I

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (31:18.95)

pulling that in the future piece, it doesn't bring anxiety to me. It brings excitement. brings, yes, I, people call it sacrifice, but if I stay where I am right now, then I'm not gonna have to be doing this in a month or two. So there's.

Meredith & Craig (31:37.574)

So it sounds

Meredith & Craig (31:39.686)

like you're living in the present, like being where your feet are, enjoying the present moment, but also living in service of the future and where you want to go, making decisions based on where you want to be going, goals and dreams, your North Star, your ultimate shared vision with your husband, but living in the moment and enjoying every step of

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (32:00.694)

every step because we don't know. Nobody knows and nobody will ever be able to know when our last breath is taken. We never think it's happen. We think we're gonna just run to the grocery store and out of the blue, you know, we think we're gonna go to sleep and wake up. So honestly, what we have is right here right now. It's a

Meredith & Craig (32:11.312)

So true.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (32:29.894)

bonus, it's a blessing to be able to bring in that future piece.

Meredith & Craig (32:38.436)

Yeah, I couldn't agree more. Margie, how do you think your marriage has impacted your business?

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (32:50.47)

Well, for me, I feel completely supported. feel like now anything can happen anytime. I've had a long, lot of young family members pass. So I'm very aware of how quick life can change. I am so grateful, so blessed, so fortunate that

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (33:19.756)

I am married and I don't take that lightly. I don't want to be here by myself doing this. Now, could I? Yes, I could. And that would be OK. I would figure things out. But my husband will walk by and I'll say, I can't get this to work. And he'll say, here, I'll look at it with you. Or.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (33:46.39)

I will be struggling with an idea for a topic and he'll, I'll say, can I run this by you? And I said, just give me your first thought. And he'll say, well, I like this. And I'll say, okay. And then I'll go with the other one probably, but he's like, didn't you like my idea? said, no, I just wanted your input. Like feedback is neutral. So I love having a partner that is there for me supporting.

Meredith & Craig (33:59.012)

Yeah.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (34:13.69)

but also it was gonna sound really, really corny. The craziest thing I'll ever miss about him if he goes before me is that he turns it on that bed every single night to just say, to your sleep. You know, every single night. And it's the smallest little things. Like if I'm going on a trip and I'm like, okay, I have a list of things that I need to do.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (34:39.482)

He will go out, he'll gas my car, he'll make sure everything is ready, the tires have the air, put the renex on the window. I know that doesn't seem like a big deal, but it's taking care of each other. So if I'm making some food to go away, which I did just recently, I left him one on the plate and just wrote, I love you. And he was like, aw, thank you. I didn't have to do that. It's the little, little things, and they are little.

Meredith & Craig (34:52.549)

Well.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (35:09.346)

that keep you like, I love you and I'm so glad you're in my life.

Meredith & Craig (35:15.067)

That was so beautiful, Margie. Yeah. Those small little deposits, they add up. little things end up being the big things. They're the important things. When you think about it, it's those little things day to day, like every day, a little daily deposit in the love account every day.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (35:21.414)

Yeah.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (35:32.262)

Woo, there you go.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (35:33.516)

What's the name of a book? Write that down. Shhh, grab that before anybody else does.

There you go. But it's those little deposits into that account that over time it compounds. And we all know that the the eighth wonder of the world is compound interest. And if you're doing that on your love account, you're wealthy in love.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (35:53.786)

Woo! Yeah, I really do.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (35:56.506)

That's a really great name for a book. think you should really.

Meredith & Craig (36:00.489)

I'll take that note down for sure. I also love the little rituals. Like you said, your husband rolling over every night, welcome to your sleep. Like these little rituals that are small, but they're, mean, to his point, life is made up of the little things, little inside jokes, those little, those little, we have little rituals like when we're getting ready for bed too, like just little tiny little things that seem so irrelevant, but they stack.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (36:24.72)

Yeah.

Meredith & Craig (36:26.882)

And at the end of the day, those are the things that you're going to like, cause we're not, we're not all for this life forever. And at some point it ends for us and it's going to be those moments that we look back on and we miss the most. It's like those little, little things like turning on the bed and reaching or reach around and saying, to welcome to your sleep and leaving a little love note. Yeah.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (36:48.624)

Seriously.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (36:51.718)

Well, it's

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (36:52.498)

very different than, oh my gosh, you didn't load the dishwasher correctly. The plates go this way and the cups, who cares? Like if that's important to you, I'm going to let you load the dishwasher as my gift to you. I don't think I've loaded the dishwasher in 20 years. Who's the smart one?

Meredith & Craig (37:16.406)

Very good point. 100%. 100%. You're playing chess.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (37:24.166)

Checkmate, checkmate. Yeah.

Meredith & Craig (37:27.306)

Yeah. That's funny. If you could leave people with one last gold nugget, what would that be? What's your message?

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (37:41.766)

Appreciate every moment you're in. Do not keep the people that are in your life, whether they are related or not, who consistently ooze toxicity. It's okay to let them go. Bless and release them. Let them go.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (38:08.646)

because it gives you so much room more to just enjoy and love. And we all think that we're all supposed to be loving with every single person, but not every single person can do that. And so let them go, it's okay. And just be grateful for what you have.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (38:36.206)

My first book is called Overly Satisfied is Underachieved. So I'm not saying that you should settle for being satisfied for mediocrity if that's not your goal. But if it is OK with you and that's how you want to live your life, it's OK. But my goal was never just being satisfied. It's living the life, traveling the world, having experiences with our kids, doing the things, building.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (39:04.838)

this center in Uganda for these orphans who literally live under 10 pieces of something that they call home. Like building a community center. If we had 1,000 people give $100, we can build a community center and feed those kids for two full years. So give back, make money, keep the economy going and give back.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (39:33.72)

and create the life that you want to have, that you want to wake up to. I mean, that was more than one sentence, but.

Meredith & Craig (39:40.371)

it's pure gold. All gold though. Margie, that was amazing. It sounds, what I heard you say is be grateful, but never satisfied. Be grateful, but continue to, if that's your vision, be grateful, but continue to achieve, continue to give, continue to evolve, continue to grow. It sounds a lot like what our friend Kayla always says. You can be a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time. You can be grateful and still not satisfied and want to achieve more.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (39:49.647)

Yes.

Meredith & Craig (40:09.736)

And it's really cool because the more, if it's on your heart to grow and, and, you know, not to be satisfied, the more you accomplish, the more successful you are, the more money you make, the more difference you can also make. You have more resources to turn around and, help build those communities and help, you know, invest more into the community and help make it a better place for everyone else. that's

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (40:35.29)

The world.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (40:36.53)

I think we've been misled with the word greed. you want more? Because you're greedy. Even if you're like a three year old playing with trucks with another three year old and you say, well, don't be greedy. you know, so you start to feel like it's not OK for you to play with the truck. Like, and so then you start developing these feelings. And so then when you're older, you're like, I really want to be a millionaire. But.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (41:04.164)

I would feel greedy. No, it's not that. It's like the money is not the root of all evil. It's a tool that we get to use. It's the best one. It's going to be able to hammer the nail in the wall. Like, let's use the right tool. so it's just, it's fun when you break through from a place of scarcity and just monotony to a place of

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (41:32.35)

every day what's possible. It's a joyous life. It's a better life. So that's what I want from people is to be happy. You have children, you have no children and you have each other.

Meredith & Craig (41:47.137)

We each other. We have some nieces and nephews that we get to spoil and then send them back to their parents.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (41:50.106)

and

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (41:53.903)

I love that. what is it that, can I ask a question?

Meredith & Craig (41:58.267)

Of course!

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (42:00.368)

So Meredith, what is it that you most want for Craig?

Meredith & Craig (42:05.273)

I most want him to be happy. I want whatever he wants.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (42:08.134)

Craig,

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (42:10.362)

and what do you most want for Merida?

Meredith & Craig (42:13.2)

The same. That's what this life is all about is the take a journey in and we only get one crack at this. And so it's, it's all about having fun and adventure and being happy and creating a life that at the end of the day, when you're 70 years old or a hundred years old or whatever you happen to be, when you take your last breath, that you can look back on it be like, that was a really great life. That's what I want for her. Everybody.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (42:16.422)

That's it.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (42:40.324)

And that's because that's

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (42:42.466)

what you want for everybody. You just want people to be happy. And I think we get caught up in society's things that are supposed to make us happy. When you can hang up this call and say, let's go here or let's go do this or, and you know what? It causes this happiness that just goes.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (43:08.198)

I love the energy that's flowing from the two of you. I love what you're doing. Thank you for doing this. Because somebody is going to hear something that's going to change their life. Something's going to, and not just one person. So congratulations and thank you.

Meredith & Craig (43:25.627)

Well, and you're a huge reason for that. This episode, if anyone listens to it and they get their life changed, a lot of that is because of your goal and your coming and being a servant leader and wanting to make the world a better place. So we thank you as well. Margie, where can people get ahold of you? Yeah. How do they reach you?

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (43:40.175)

Absolutely.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (43:45.614)

I have a website and my calendar's on there. It's called Mentor Me MDJ, which are my initials. Dunkie Jacobs, that's the name I married. I remember leaving on our first day and saying, what is your last name again? And he said Dunkie Jacobs. And I said, if I was your sister, I would be Margie Dunkie Jacobs. That's very bouncy. Boom, boom, boom. And,

Meredith & Craig (44:11.771)

Hahaha

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (44:15.366)

Who knew that I would take that name 42 years ago and have it be part of my life? So mentormemdj.com.

Meredith & Craig (44:18.652)

Yeah.

Meredith & Craig (44:29.617)

Perfect. That's awesome. Well, thank you again, Margie. This was so much fun. I just loved your energy. I'm so grateful you were here. A lot of gold in this episode.

Margie Dunki-Jacobs (44:40.544)

Aww, you guys are amazing. Thank you so much. And I just really appreciate all that you do. So go out and be happy and yeah, and share it with the world.

Meredith & Craig (44:51.963)

Thanks, Margie. Thank you, Margie.

Meredith & Craig

Thanks for listening to this episode of the Road of Life podcast. Remember, your business will only grow as strong as your marriage does. So what's one action you're going to take this week? To put something you learned in this episode into practice. We love a good chit chat, as much as the next person, but without action, you stay where you are. If you want to turn your marriage into the engine that drives your business forward instead of the brakes keeping itself, book a free marriage and business strategy session with us at www.200percentmarriage.com/strategycall.

We'll see you next week.