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Episode Transcription

Welcome to the Road of Life podcast, the show for married entrepreneurs who want to build a thriving marriage and a thriving business. We're your hosts, Meredith and Craig, relationship experts and entrepreneurs ourselves. We know firsthand that your business will only grow as strong as your marriage does.

On this podcast, we share real stories, practical tools, and honest conversations to help you strengthen your relationship, fuel your business, and build a life you love together. Let's dive in.

Meredith & Craig (00:33)

Connor Tyson is a financial coach and former advisor of over 20 years. He's the founder of Progress Solutions where he helps couples and married entrepreneurs stop letting money quietly sabotage their marriage and their dreams. In this episode, listen as Connor shares the framework he learned from firefighters about how to handle money in his marriage and a ton of other practical tools that you can implement right now, including the Hopes and Worries list.

Meredith & Craig (00:59)

Welcome to the Road to Life podcast, Connor Tyson. Connor, we're super excited you're here.

Connor Tyson (01:03)

Yeah, I've been jonesing for this whole week. I'm like, this is gonna be great.

Meredith & Craig (01:07)

Yeah, yeah. We're super stoked, especially given that you are a financial coach and we are relationship coaches. So there's so much overlap and I just, think this conversation is going to be fantastic. But before we get into all of that, talk to us a little bit about how you got here, what you're up to and you're a little bit about your hero's journey, if you will.

Connor Tyson (01:30)

My hero's journey. Okay. So, I mean, we can go all the way back to the beginning with my growing up with money and stuff like that. So I think there wasn't much communication in my household about money, right? And I took it on at an early age. Like there's something to this money thing. There was a lot of energy in the household around money, a of fighting, a lot of told you so Joe. And, and I just realized like, wow, there's something to this. So I took it upon myself to learn everything I could about money at a pretty young age. It's always been kind of my passion. So I graduated college.

with a degree in finance. And then I looked down at the age of like 22 and I had some serious debt. And I was like, how did that happen? Cause I had all the knowledge in the world. And I realized like it was really habits and behaviors, not so much the knowledge and basically clean myself up and then had a financial planning practice. I was a financial advisor for 25 years, but I successful sold that. And then I sat around saying, okay, how can I be the most service to the most amount of people? And I was like, they're not teaching this stuff in schools.

It's still statistically one of the biggest, you know, problem areas in people's lives. And I was like, let me just be a personal financial wellness coach, meet people where they're at and help them start winning with money, you know? And then we met and I was like, this is exactly what we need to do.

Meredith & Craig (02:41)

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I love it. you touched on something really important there, I think, because it goes to a lot of areas of life, including relationships, it's knowledge is one thing. Habits and behaviors is something completely different. Like you have to marry the two. That was a relationship. ⁓

Connor Tyson (02:57)

Yes. Absolutely. Yeah because it's knowledge without

taking action is just knowledge right like like you got to move the needle you got to apply it you got to you got to do something with it otherwise it's just you know maybe one day I'll be on jeopardy they asked me that question I have no idea but it's not going to help me out in the meantime right

Meredith & Craig (03:17)

Yeah.

it's such a good point because the world we live in now with Google and with AI, anything YouTube, anything you want to learn is at your fingertips. The knowledge, the information is available, but a lot of people sometimes get stuck in that information loop. I just need more information. I need more information. need more information. And they never actually translate the information into

habits, actions that will actually move you forward.

Connor Tyson (03:45)

Correct. So what I've seen is that it's not the lack of knowledge. Like if you asked anybody in your audience right now, how do you become financially independent and wealthy and grow wealth? They'll tell you, they know like spend less than I make save, avoid debt, give, they know these things. It's not lack of knowledge. Like you said, Google would have solved this problem a while ago, but it's, it's really like, you have to get deeper into why would you actually change what you're doing? Why?

Right. It's not I want to get out of debt. I want to be financially free. That's not going to do it. It might do it for like a week. But talk to me when you're in the depths of it and like really wanting to do something. Are you going to revert back to your old habits? And it's it has to be deeper than that. It has to be like, ⁓ you know, working two jobs and I'm missing my kids. Baseball games and that family is a really strong value in my life. And I feel like I'm violating that.

Now we're getting somewhere that that's going to probably make you move right and that's Now all the knowledge in the world's great, but you have to have a bigger reason as to why to apply that right

Meredith & Craig (04:50)

Yeah,

you say that a lot too. the pain of where I am, the pain of not taking action has to get to the point that it overcomes that sort of stagnation. Like we all kind of get stuck in what we're doing and making a change to our routine, changing our habits, changing our actions, changing our behavior is hard. ⁓

Connor Tyson (05:11)

No, absolutely.

I take it back to something so basic. It's like brushing your teeth. I've been brushing my teeth with my right hand since someone taught me how to brush my teeth. Someone comes along and says, how about you start brushing your teeth with your left hand? no, right? I'll try it. It'll be awkward, uncomfortable. I'm going to want to revert back to my right hand because that's what I know. And the same thing with money. It's like, I operate like this. This is how I was taught. This is what I do. This is how I react.

Meredith & Craig (05:24)

Thank

Connor Tyson (05:38)

When things get stressful, I go shopping or whatever it is. And then someone says, well, listen, how about we change a couple of things? It's going to be uncomfortable. So that's why it's habits and behaviors. It's not that I don't know what I need to be doing. It's just in that moment. I'm, I want to hit the easy button.

Meredith & Craig (05:53)

Yeah. it's so similar to relationships in that, you know, I know I have to have that difficult conversation. know, there's a boundary that's been, broken here and I need to, I need to say something, but I don't really want to have that conversation and confront that and, deal with that short-term discomfort. So I'm going to put that off. I'm not going to have that conversation and eventually we're trading that short-term discomfort for long-term dysfunction.

And it's similar to what you're talking about with finances, like not doing the thing now, but then later on down the road, you wake up one day and you're like, oh crap, I can't retire. I don't have any money set aside and now I have a harder life long-term.

Connor Tyson (06:29)

Yeah, or it's Wednesday, let's have a money fight, right? Like it just becomes such part of who you become. And the thing about marriage, I think we spoke about this before, it's two worlds coming into one, right? And you've learned about money prior to meeting your significant other.

Meredith & Craig (06:31)

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Connor Tyson (06:48)

Your

parents taught you what you observed how you do things Yeah, I put everything on a credit card and pay it off at the end of the month or I use envelopes or whatever that is It's different and then you have those two things come together. It's like you better have an operating system moving forward. Otherwise Yeah, there's gonna be some friction and it's gonna cause some sparks and there's probably gonna be some tension and some people like you said are afraid To have that conversation and they go into avoidance

And that could be for decades and then one and then it's wow. Right and something happens. Someone loses a job. Somebody gets sick. Something happens and there's no. It just reverts back to the old like okay ostrich technique. We're just gonna put our head in the sand and see what happens.

Meredith & Craig (07:17)

Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. We see it all the time. And we talked about this, the big four, one of them being money. Probably the biggest one is being money is like relationships. There is an underlying kind of friction when it comes to money and you must see it all the time.

Connor Tyson (07:49)

yeah, I see it all the time and it's that sleeve like of the pillars of life, right? You spoke about relationships and health and personal personal development and money is one of them and that sleeve touches almost every single sleeve of your life. It can ruin relationships. It can make relationships awkward. Like we just went through Thanksgiving, right? If you owed your uncle $10,000, it's a little it's a little awkward at the dinner table.

Right regardless if it's even bothering him or not. It makes it uncomfortable for you sometimes saying no to friends like yeah. No, I'm sorry. I can't go to the wine and cheese party tonight Not going to the right because i'm trying to get my financial house in order. You don't want to say that because it's awkward to you Or how about this? I don't know what's going on with our household budget. I have no idea Can you sit me down or let's sit down together as a team and go through this without?

you know, fighting and let's just, let's set some ground rules on how we want to operate together as a team. Right. And it's like,

Meredith & Craig (08:52)

love that ground rules piece. Because usually when the money conversations happen, in any of the conflicts, like you talked about the big four, and just to be clear, the big four being money, sex, parenting, in-laws, family, extended family, usually when those conversations happen, it's in a high emotion state. Something has happened that's triggered the conversation. Now it has to be had. I can't avoid it anymore. It's so in my face. I have to have it. But the problem is we're in a high emotional state. When we're in a high emotional state,

We're not our best, most rational, logical selves. So what you just said is like, let's set the ground rules while we're in a calm, low emotional state, when we're both logical and rational and let's talk about how we want this to work so that when those times happen, when the conflicts inevitably arise, we've got a set of ground rules that we both already agreed to that we can stick to in those moments to keep from going completely off the rails.

Connor Tyson (09:47)

Yeah, and could be and sometimes it's awkward kind of like do we borrow do we lend money to relatives? Do we When do we communicate about a purchase like more than five hundred dollars? Less than a hundred like I don't know what that what does that look like for you? Is it? You know, and do we use credit cards? Do we? How do we teach our kids about money? What what are some of the things we want them to know about it what you know?

And those conversations happen and like, like what you said, like when things are calm, right? Because emotions and logic don't usually go together too well. And it's like, there are two things, you know, and you throw in this time of year, you got the holidays, you got in-laws, we joked about it, right? You got in-laws, you got money, you got expectations and pressure and yeah, it's not probably a very

Meredith & Craig (10:18)

Yeah.

I wish.

Connor Tyson (10:41)

smooth, calm, walking away from that feeling really good and accomplished conversation, right? Correct.

Meredith & Craig (10:46)

Perfect storm time of year for sure. Totally.

And given that it is that time of year and you are who you are and you're such a great financial coach and you're helping all kinds of people, what's like one or two nuggets that you would give people that they could take away like today, like right now that they could work on through the holidays just to like help them through this whole process?

Connor Tyson (11:07)

So I think I spoke to you about this prior but like the basics of a really good marriage that I was taught is like I used the fireman analogy. I don't know if I've spoken to you about this but so when I was getting married I said listen you know I'm kind of nervous about he said listen I've been I've married hundreds of hundred couples on my career and he said the four tenants are you have to start acting like a fireman. I said what's that? He said in scary situations they communicate.

Constant communication like over communication. They know where everybody is in any given moment what they need and how to get out and what right that's okay to to Loyalty they have each other's back no matter what you could have a fireman from Texas and a fireman from Boston They have a mutual loyalty to they kind of look out for each other's back because they understand what that whole thing is about You know things they also know people over possessions

Make sure the people are okay get the possessions. Don't worry about the possessions at the end of the day. That's really what you have you chose each other not the things you're gonna get so and then the fourth thing was Have fun Like why does it have to be such a heavy topic? Right like all right. It's money. Is it is it really a possession or is it just this thing? I'm a steward of until I give it a purpose for something else Right. So money I think is like an energy source and that it comes and goes it ebbs and flows. I've had it. I've not had

Is that really, is that something I want to define me and my marriage? Something I really don't have that much control over. I mean, yeah, I can give it some rules and a process to kind of obey. It's a really, really horrible master, really good servant, right? Money. So if I just take those four tenants of what I built my marriage on and I apply it to money. Yeah, I should probably have a regular 15 minutes standup meeting.

I don't need a formal excel spreadsheet the kid or kitchen table Just like hey What are we doing for groceries this week? Where are we at with our checking account? What? What are we doing for? What's that? What's the Christmas budget looking like? Like we got ten people to buy for is it a thousand dollars two thousand five hundred. What are we doing? Right a role assignment. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. I know my wife's strengths and weaknesses. She's a great admin

She's very organized. I'm not you would think I would be I'm not I'm big picture, right and I can't track things To detail but I do know when things are red and when they're green, right? So I know like all right, we're getting close to A budget here that we got to communicate. I also have the gift of gab. She's very shy I'm outgoing I can have awkward conversations. She can't but she knows

What she can call upon and I also know what my teammate needs Right. I'm a very prideful person. She's not she knows to ask me the question. What do you need taking off your plate? Because I want to carry the world on my shoulders So we we we know each other's strengths and weaknesses and sometimes you don't have that conversation and make it a regular thing it doesn't have to be a big Every single week or month a big budget meeting

Who the hell would want to sign up for that? Not me. And I didn't. So it's like, if we just make this a regular thing, where are we at? What was our intention for the week? How did we do? What can we improve upon? Great. High five, hugs and kisses. Let's keep it moving. And just keep that a regular thing. And then when you're comfortable enough, include the kids.

Right and it's like all right. This is good. This is a good thing So that would be one thing The other thing is like if you're just starting out You need awareness Like where are you if you want to know where you want to go? You got to know where you are right now Right, you got to orientate yourself and that's sometimes just ripping off the band-aid and say, okay Well, let's take a look at this bad boy. We haven't looked at it in don't know 14 years Right. We have an idea

Meredith & Craig (14:49)

Yeah.

Connor Tyson (15:10)

But then you start getting in the driver's seat, you know? And you only have to go through that once or twice, and then you're like, all right, teamwork, and then make it happen. So those are the two things. Make it part of a regular, it doesn't have to be a formal thing, like in a neutral environment. You know, it doesn't have to be at the kitchen table with the lights off. It's like, all right, let's have it sit down on the couch and comfortable, no distractions, so we can focus on the things that matter to us.

Meredith & Craig (15:38)

There's a lot to unpack there. There was so much gold there. I love, I love the, the fireman analogy in an emergency over communicating. Like I just love that. That's such a tangible thing that you can grab onto and be like, okay, when something's happening over communication, more than you think might be necessary, just because let's just make it safe as possible. love that.

Connor Tyson (15:41)

Sorry.

Meredith & Craig (16:02)

The other thing was the loyalty. Like you chose this person. we're in this together. let's join forces and figure this out. people over possessions was the other one, right? And then what's the fourth one? That one is so, that one is so, yeah, it's, ⁓ we say it all the time. Cause it's one of our pillars in our framework as well as, is fun is not a, it's not a nice to have. It's not just that add on that.

Connor Tyson (16:15)

Have fun.

Meredith & Craig (16:29)

I'm just going to have it when I can. No, you have to create and have fun or you pull away and you stop engaging in whatever it is that you're doing in your marriage and your finances and your, in your life in general. If it's not fun, you don't do it. So I love having fun as being the fourth one.

Connor Tyson (16:43)

Yeah. Yeah. Intentionality. I

teach that intentionality, right? So it was being reactive and proactive. If it's important to you and it's something you want to build a foundation on, a pillar of fun, put it in your calendar and budget for it. What aside the money? I don't care what it is. It could be a night out at the movies. It could be whatever. We bought the game clue.

Meredith & Craig (17:00)

Yes.

No. Going for an ice cream.

Yeah.

Connor Tyson (17:11)

What's last time you played clue, right? But it brings back a bunch of memories, right? Professor plumb in the library with the lead pipe. Let's go And that was like what 15 dollars it brought hours of fun Got the kids we talked about when we were and that was a fun game night. It was 15 bucks

Meredith & Craig (17:16)

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I love that. I also loved what you talked about with the stand-up meeting. Yes. we talk about the way we talk about money. We touch on money in our framework. We're not money experts like you are, but our whole principle is don't be weird about it. Like let's just stop being weird about money and talk about it. about it. Like regularly, not a sit down once a year, once a month formal meeting, but let's just weekly have a conversation about where we are.

And you mentioned what's our threshold for like, we talking about purchases at $100, at $500, at $1,000? What is both of our level of comfort with our spending? At what point do need to have a conversation? And being super clear on what that point is so that there's no... I bought a truck today, by the way.

Connor Tyson (18:20)

Did you see that giant life skate where the guy, the guy, it's the holidays and it's like, you know, come on out, honey. And he has the Mercedes in the driveway. There's a big bow on it. And she's like, he's like, Hey honey, guess what? And she's like, what the hell did you do? We don't have the money to afford that. And he's like, what? I don't understand. I thought you'd be happy. Like the car commercial. It's like, no, there's no communication, but like, I thought you'd like it. So I bought a $50,000 car.

Meredith & Craig (18:36)

You

Yeah.

Yeah, that's probably above most people's threshold. So have that conversation, have that threshold and understand what you're doing so you don't have that surprise on The unintended surprise on Christmas. That whole principle of having that regular meeting goes back to what we talked about earlier in this podcast around when you talk about things when the emotions aren't high. And so we talk about in our program, like a weekly team meeting.

Connor Tyson (18:49)

So funny.

Yeah.

Thanks

Meredith & Craig (19:15)

Talk about the finances. Talk about the calendar for what's coming up for this week. Like where do the kids have to be and where do I have to be and where do you have to be and what are the big things that we're looking at for this week and how did last week go? What could we have done better last week? And let's just have a quick debrief so that we're aligned starting this next week of our lives so that we're more likely to be successful. It doesn't have to be a big fancy, crazy, overwhelming thing. It's just we are staying aligned in a low emotional state, in a

Connor Tyson (19:23)

Yeah.

Meredith & Craig (19:45)

comfortable environment, we're going to sit on the couch and we're going to just chat about our lives and make sure that we're on the same page regularly.

Connor Tyson (19:51)

Yeah, one exercise

I have a lot of my clients do is one is just to break the ice of the awkwardness, right? Share your biggest boneheaded move with money. What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Could be while you're married, the person could tell you the story of the stuff, but that just gets the awkwardness out. Like, yeah, before I married you my freshman year, I put spring break.

Meredith & Craig (20:02)

You

Connor Tyson (20:15)

End all this on the credit card. Didn't even know that I had to pay it back. Got back. Right. You can just talk about it. Like you didn't know that? Like, no, I did not know that. was, I was, uh, and you know, a 19 year old stupid kid and I came home with like $3,500 bill for a spring break. don't even remember. Right. So it, and also the other thing is like, I call it the, um, the hopes and worry list. Right. Do it separately. What are some of your hopes and what are some of your worries?

Meredith & Craig (20:23)

Learned that the hard way.

I didn't mean that.

Connor Tyson (20:44)

and then share it. Right. And then what you might see some of those things overlap or I didn't know that's worrying you. This is the game panel for that. I didn't know you didn't know that or yeah, I got that covered or no, we don't have that covered. That's actually on my list and your list. So maybe we should address that. Right.

Meredith & Craig (20:46)

Yeah.

That's awesome.

love that. Yeah. I love because it requires a level of vulnerability to be able to do that, to share your fears and that requires some trust and vulnerability. So it's building that bank account between the two of you and it's actually looking into the future. Yeah, totally. Dreamcast, like having that shared common vision that

Connor Tyson (21:09)

Yep.

Meredith & Craig (21:23)

North Star that you can build towards together. That's awesome. know what? Something else you said, Connor, that I loved a few minutes ago was you talked about you and your wife and the different strengths you bring to your team and you called it your team, which I love because that's how we refer to marriage. It's a team sport. Going from single player mode to playing a team sport is a really tough transition. But when you can make that transition and see them as a teammate, it makes life so much easier. And one of our first rules to be an unstoppable team is that everyone's contribution matters.

So if you both brought all the exact same strengths to this relationship and played the exact same role on this team, what's the point of having two of you? The fact that you can see each other's complementary strengths and appreciate each other's contributions is the game plan to win. A lot of people struggle with sometimes the complementary strengths. It's hard to always see them as strengths. Like she does something the complete opposite way that you would do it.

because she sees things differently and she has different strengths than you. How did you two start to appreciate each other's strengths and not get frustrated by each other's strengths?

Connor Tyson (22:29)

I don't think it would be appreciate. think it was recognized out of fault and error. Right? So it was like in the beginning, it was more like I was a big, big picture person, right? She's detail oriented. I kind of knew that moving into it, but I didn't know when you're starting a family, like

You need to know what time certain things are and when they need to be done and deadlines and right and A couple not fights. I just say yeah. Okay. Let's call them fights right came out and it was obvious that I need things written down You can tell them to me oratorily and I will be like, Absolutely and then 15 minutes later. I don't quite remember. Yeah so

I have it across the room now every morning. Yeah, exactly. Right. Craig identifies half the guys that are listening right now, but that took time and understanding her saying, what do you need? I'm like, ⁓ you know what? Let's try something different. Instead of you telling me, how about we write it down? She's like, thing to my list, but she started doing it. And all of a sudden there was less, missing the point.

All right, and it was like well then I had to train myself look at the board. It was a new habit a new behavior Every morning I got a cup of coffee boom. She has in bullet points. What's going on for the kids me and anything that she's doing I'm like, okay great. I know at least and then I can build my day around that that took some time Some other things that she realized that I just took for granted is like i'm pretty outgoing gregarious I'll talk to strangers in an elevator, right? But she she's not like that

So I, I understood that she needs like an icebreaker. She needs me to start conversations with people and then slowly back out and then she's good. Right. And those are some things that like over trial and error, you know, she's like, you, you abandoned me at this cocktail party. was like, no, didn't. I was just working in the room. What are you? She's like, no, I need you to at least like be an icebreaker for

some of these things. can't just go into a room and not talk to like, don't know. It's awkward for me. She was very uncomfortable. I'm like, I'm sorry. I didn't know you needed that for me. I was like, sure. I'll be your, I'll be your ice man. No problem. Viper, right? So that was a top gun reference if no one caught it, but yeah. So I was like, all right. And then we had signals and you know, it's, it's trial and error and you learn these things, but do you lean into them or do you fight them?

Meredith & Craig (24:59)

Yeah.

Connor Tyson (25:00)

Right and if your teammate needs something if you're able to provide it I think it makes your life easier too if you can provide it like it's no skin off my back and She she makes lists all day long. So she's like, all right. gotta make another list for this idiot. No problem, right? So it's all good. It works I think Also when you're doing deal with money, there's somebody that's like the columns and spreadsheet person. Yep

Meredith & Craig (25:14)

Laughter

Connor Tyson (25:24)

And then there's the other person that's like the creative future. Oh, let's think about, you know, summer break and you're like, it's January, right? You're thinking about summer, right? They're the more creative lean into those things, right? Um, and just have role clarity and don't ask the, the dreamer to be the detail guy. Like I need you to take me, you know, meeting notes like, no, I'm not doing that. That's not, you're not going to like this, right?

Meredith & Craig (25:52)

You won't

be able to read them anyway. ⁓

Connor Tyson (25:54)

Exactly.

Right. So know each other's strengths and weaknesses, leading to that. And it makes the team better. Like you said, one plus one equals three something.

Meredith & Craig (26:04)

for sure. It's such a good point on the role clarity. We trial and errored role clarity for quite a while in our business especially to really find our lanes and what we're good at and what we each bring to the table. The way you said that last bit just reminded me so much of when you say, I've got a great idea and you say it and I'm

write it down. Please write it down because neither of us are going to remember it in five minutes and tomorrow you're going to be like, what was that great idea I had? I told you to write it down, but I'm a detailed person so I need to write it down.

Connor Tyson (26:26)

Exactly,

Yeah.

Yeah, so you

do, So it's, yeah, you're getting the idea. it's, no one's marriage is unique unto themselves. We all have these struggles, right? Like I had a degree in finance. Why should I have to struggle with getting my wife on board with the principles of money and how it worked? Like, of course, it's two worlds coming into one and there are, there's a process. I help, like I do refocus, gain control,

Set a plan and accountability and follow through. Those are the steps. Refocus is finding that North Star, your why, your principles, your values, your priorities. Like if your life is a snow globe, you gotta start organizing some things in some categories, right? And then the hopes and worries list and really talking about communication and getting things going. Then gain control is the tools and resources.

Right? Like I don't know how to do a budget. I've tried it and I failed before or a debt payoff plan or, you know, communication, regular communication. Like when do we have these 15 minutes standup meetings? Do we have a family budget meeting? Do we point fingers or give hugs? Like, I don't know what, what, are we doing here? Right? So, and then the accountability and follow through is huge. If you don't have left your own devices, if you're anything like me,

You revert to your old behaviors, brushing your teeth with your right hand because it's comfortable. And you need some accountability and follow through. And sometimes that's why people hire coaches, right? I want to lose 15 pounds, rah rah, his kumbaya is the new year. Talk to me March 17th. Am I still going? It's St. Patrick's day that day. I'm probably not going, but if, if I have a really deep recents of why

Meredith & Craig (28:20)

Yeah.

Connor Tyson (28:24)

And I have somebody that I've been vulnerable enough with and I've shared that with like I want to have more energy for my kids. I don't want to die diabetes like my uncle. I want it right. That's a pretty good motivator. And if you share that stuff and you're like, I it's, it's raining out. I don't want to go to the gym. person might be like, okay, or how about this? You told me this, this, this, and this, is this still the case? I want this for you now. Do you get the other people invested in your success?

And they're like, that's awesome. And then you start celebrating successes. That's where the fun comes in.

Meredith & Craig (28:57)

So true.

When you think about like, it goes back to what we talked about earlier is that all of the information, you can Google it, you can AI it, you can get everything you want. but if it was just information, we'd all be billionaires with apps. But right, but we're not. And it's because of that point exactly is the accountability, the having someone show up for you with you to encourage you to keep going in those moments where you're

Connor Tyson (29:11)

Absolutely.

Meredith & Craig (29:23)

not motivated to go to the gym or put that, a little bit away in that savings account or invest in your 401k. I was going to say RRSP, but that's a Canadian thing. ⁓ You get American. work. But it's just, it's so true. Like if it's not just knowledge, you have to have that little piece of accountability.

Connor Tyson (29:31)

Yep, that's one of them.

Good day, Dina. Yeah, four one cat.

Good job.

So think about this,

like I think about people that are very accountable to themselves. Like so self-disciplined is like freakish. Like the people that are like the marathon runners that are like running in the snow or the people that are like counting their macros and diet and like going to the gym all the time or very ready. Those people are such outliers that they stand out and make other people uncomfortable.

Meredith & Craig (29:55)

Yeah.

Connor Tyson (30:14)

Right? Yeah, it's good because the majority of us i'm speaking to everybody that's probably listening right now We're not that so what do we need? have to get outside of ourselves And be held accountable to a higher standard that we want for ourselves not for anybody else And that's that's the truth

Meredith & Craig (30:28)

For sure.

You totally just hit on something like a concept that we've been talking about now for the last several months because we were having this exact conversation of what makes some people follow through. How do some people hold themselves accountable? How are some people so disciplined to their goals?

What is discipline? How do you build it? And what we come to realize is exactly what you're saying. Is when you know where you're going, when you have your North Star, when you know what you ultimately want, the thing you're working towards, you're living for that. You're making decisions today in service of where you want to be in your life instead of making decisions today in service of how I feel in this exact moment in time.

Connor Tyson (31:14)

Yeah

Meredith & Craig (31:14)

I'm living for what I want in the future instead of for what I want in this moment in the present. ⁓

Connor Tyson (31:20)

The absolutely,

but the the challenge is that that road is such a long road And if you don't celebrate yeah, if you don't celebrate the small wins along the way You're gonna give up And why would you take the most? discipline people in the world like Navy SEALs or like those people are such freaks of nature that like how do they there's some kind of inner core that drives them that I don't quite understand but

Meredith & Craig (31:26)

Yeah. We all want instant gratification.

Definitely. 100%. 100

Yeah.

Connor Tyson (31:50)

You just take regular people that have really big inspiration like Olympic athletes, right? Why is it that there's something that they've identified their own identity to? It's very rare in human nature to violate one's own self-identity You'll do almost anything not to Right or you'll protect it at all cost if I truly believe i'm an honest person and you call me dishonest I get there's a visceral reaction. Isn't there? Why is that? Right?

Meredith & Craig (32:01)

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yep.

yes.

Connor Tyson (32:20)

So it's almost like, that's why we talk about values and goals and hopes and dreams and cause that's the stuff, the emotions, emotion, right? It's in the word that moves you. And yeah, that that's basically it. mean, that, that and celebration, like I needed, I'm a big, ⁓ habit loop guy. If I don't get immediate feedback,

Meredith & Craig (32:30)

Mm-hmm.

Connor Tyson (32:43)

or some kind of like cookie at the end of the, I'm not doing it for that long.

Meredith & Craig (32:43)

Yeah.

It's so true. Like celebrating all the little moments. for example, someone listening to podcast, celebrate that you listened to the full podcast that you took a note, that you took one nugget from this podcast. Celebrate the fact that you booked a call with Connor, like to talk about your finances. Like celebrate the little moments along the way, even though you didn't get to the end goal yet of, you know, saving for retirement, whatever your goal, whatever your big North star is.

Connor Tyson (33:09)

Whatever.

Meredith & Craig (33:11)

but celebrate the little things along the way. And it doesn't have to be go for dinner. we're not saying, like that's gonna be counter to your thing. But like, know, talk good about yourself. Celebrate, have a fist bump with your partner. Like just acknowledge the little steps that you're taking. it keeps you in momentum to the next thing. If you celebrate and have that good feeling of I'm making progress, it keeps you going to the next one. Because we didn't always believe that, right?

back in the day in our corporate existence and our corporate life, I never celebrated anything. It was like, I had a goal. I wanted to get this next role. I want to get this next promotion and the next whatever. I got it. Great. I'm already onto the next goal in my head when I've achieved this one. So there's never that sort of acknowledgement of, great job. You did the thing you said you were going to do. Congratulations to me. And I never had that.

that thought, that moment with myself, that fist bump, I never ever did that because by the time I got the thing I wanted, I was on to the next thing that I wanted. And so I never took that time to acknowledge the work I did, all the time I put in, and actually achieving the thing I set out for myself to achieve. So that's why we start literally every coaching call, every mastermind call that we do now, with like, let's everyone share a celebration. Like what's going well? Because we don't take enough time to do that. And that's what gets us and keeps us

momentum and momentum is how you bust through all the brick walls that life likes to throw in your way sometimes. Yes! Totally. Yeah. Yeah.

Connor Tyson (34:36)

It's also contagious. It's totally contagious. It really

is. So to your point, the, um, I kind of lost my train of thought, but the, thing is that being a money coach, I'm going to let you know a little insight has nothing to do with the money. It's never about the money. People think it is, but that's the thing that's kind of blocking them for what that is, is the habits, behaviors.

Meredith & Craig (34:56)

you

Connor Tyson (35:04)

About the celebration of wins. It can be a big thing too. Like yeah, it could be go get yourself the vent day at Starbucks or Tim Hortons Canadian. There you go, right or How about this if you don't apply any more credit card debt? I want you to go get a full body massage for 150 bucks Like what? Yeah Something that's gonna be enough where you're like, I want that again or It's okay to celebrate

Meredith & Craig (35:27)

Yeah.

Connor Tyson (35:31)

Behavior change of something that you didn't do like that, you know, you look back and you're like, yeah, that's not the old Connor That's definitely not nope. I would have definitely not known I would not have had all cash For Christmas, I would have definitely used my credit card and then paying it off until March 15 So I'm gonna buy myself a little something or do something for myself Because you're celebrating that's why the whole reason you're starting the journey in the first place

Meredith & Craig (35:54)

I love it.

Totally. Yeah.

Connor Tyson (35:58)

For you, you know you're

capable of more and once you start accomplishing more, celebrate that. do you, why wait until the end of your life for the end of the rainbow?

Meredith & Craig (36:06)

Exactly. Oh, you know what? That's the exact lesson I learned when we started running. Like I was not a runner, that's a whole other story. But when I started running, I was doing guided runs with Nike. And one of the first runs I did, the Nike coach, he was like, everyone waits till the end of the run to celebrate. You started the run today, you said you were going to run and now here you are running. Celebrate the beginning. You don't have to wait till the end to celebrate. You can celebrate all along the way. I was like, really? Huh.

I can celebrate. am running. I did start. Like good for me. Yeah. High five. Like it was a cool lesson. I never thought of it before. The Nike running coach told me. And it's a lesson we've woven into all our coaching because it's so important to your point. Like celebrate the beginning, celebrate starting something, celebrate the middle, celebrate the little milestones along the way, the things that are going to keep you in momentum to the next thing. It's so great. Exactly. That's underrated.

Connor Tyson (36:37)

High five.

Yeah, all hard things start with change That's true all good things

I should write that with it's not as good as nike's just do it, but we'll get there

Meredith & Craig (37:01)

all hard things start with change.

I mean, we could go on and on. There's so much overlap here. There's so much. There's such a great conversation. Yeah. What are you working on right now that's got your blood pumping? Like, what are you most excited about right now? What's going on?

Connor Tyson (37:19)

Yeah. So

I call it the new year, new you, right? So a lot of people reflect upon what happened the last year, what things they fell short on, things they've accomplished, what are they striving for? I'm starting off in January with, you know, new year, new you, in that just the area of money and trying to help as many couples just change, transform the relationship with it.

whatever that means for that person. I don't care if it's get out of debt or maybe it's like, yeah, negotiate my salary or whatever that is. Maybe it's improve the communication or like, let me untie the fisherman's knot of all these limiting self beliefs I've had about money since I've been a kid. They're no longer serving me. Right. And that's got my blood pumped because I know

from this year and the years past, like it really changes lives. It changes the whole trajectory and changes family trees sometimes. So I'm pretty hyped about it. So that's something I'm working on. I'm also doing organizational financial wellness. And instead of one-on-one, I'm thinking about going to organizations that really care about their employees or members, not for profits or for profits and saying, listen, chances are 66 % of your members are struggling in this area of their life.

Meredith & Craig (38:18)

Yeah.

Mm-hmm. It's so good.

Connor Tyson (38:41)

So maybe we could

sit down with them and them. So that's another thing I'm working on.

Meredith & Craig (38:44)

I love the new year.

I love that the both things actually the new year, new you, and not that you need to wait for a new year to adopt a new habit, but a lot of people take that mindset of, it's a new year. let's focus on something. I got to change something like last year was okay, but next year I want it to be better. So I'm going to focus on my finances. So I love that. The other, the, organizational thing,

is really important because I don't think like there's so many people out there who, they generate income through their job, but they don't know what to do with it. They don't get that training or that those tools or those concepts. And so it's really great if you can focus in and get into those, what do they call them? The employee family assistance program where they offer some, sometimes companies

Connor Tyson (39:29)

Yeah, yeah, benefits,

employee benefits.

Meredith & Craig (39:31)

Yeah, exactly. They offer these different courses or things that if they could get a money course from an expert like you, that'd be like a game changer for them. So I love it.

Connor Tyson (39:39)

Yeah, because i've seen

it numerous times where it's like, right, I got a raise First of their paycheck to paycheck, right? The solution is I need more money and they get a ten thousand dollar raise And a year and half their paycheck to paycheck again. How did that happen? Right. That's a big problem that needs to be solved

Meredith & Craig (39:49)

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

100%.

Connor Tyson (39:58)

So hopefully I'm not solution.

Meredith & Craig (40:00)

And you are, how can people get a hold of you, Connor?

Connor Tyson (40:03)

My best the best way is through my website. It's a ww.progress You want to make some progress? Fc like financial coaching progressfc.com There's some free resources on there. You can set up a free complimentary consultation. Just a conversation Yeah, that's the best way I'm on Facebook I'm on Instagram my website Yeah, and for your for your listeners

They mentioned you and they're in. Don't worry about it.

Meredith & Craig (40:31)

Thank you. So we'll include all of Connor's info in the show notes. So those can be clickable and so you don't have to remember everything, but they're all right there. Well, thank you so much, Connor. This was so much fun. I just love chatting with you. There's always so much energy and overlap and fun. I just thank you so much for all the wisdom and energy you brought to everybody today. ⁓

Connor Tyson (40:43)

I appreciate this.

Yeah, if you ever need me again, I'm

here for you. All right. You have a magnificent evening. Thanks.

Meredith & Craig (40:58)

Appreciate you. Thank you.

You too.

Meredith & Craig (41:02)

Thanks for listening to this episode of the Road of Life podcast. Remember, your business will only grow as strong as your marriage does.

So it's one action you're gonna take this week to put something you learned in this episode into practice. Because we love a good chit chat as much as the next person does. But without action, stay where you are.

If you want to turn your marriage into the engine that drives your business forward instead of the brakes keeping it stuck, book a free marriage and business strategy session with us at 200percentmarriage.com/strategycall. We'll see you next week.