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The 200% Marriage Podcast Episode 151 - Show up. Throw up. Grow up. (Chapter 30)

151. Show Up. Throw Up. Grow Up. (Chapter 30) | The 200% Marriage Podcast

September 08, 202631 min read

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📍 we didn't tell anyone we were going to do this- ... before we went. No. This was something that we just sort ofcovertly researched. Found the place,felt comfortable enough to pull the trigger, and didn't tell a soul before we did it.

Yeah. I think a lot of people were surprised- ... when we came back and told them we did ayahuasca.

You've built the business, you're crushing it in your career, you've scaled your impact, but are you winning at home? Welcome to the 200% Marriage podcast. We're Meredith and Craig, and we're here to help you kill that domestic drag and turn your partner into your most elite teammate. From Russian taxi mishaps to hailstorms on the summit, we're sharing the raw and real stories and tactical drills you need to move out of roommate-ville and into your 200% life.

So grab your gear. It's time to build an unstoppable team. Let's dive in.

Welcome back to another episode of The 200% Marriage podcast with Meredith and Craig. I know you've been following along. I know you've been enjoying this journey that we've been on, reading the book The 200% Marriage: Your Winning Playbook to Be an Unstoppable Team, written by Meredith and Craig.

And we've been, uh, reading the chapters that we each wrote. I- We're, we're getting to the home stretch of this thing. We are. We are chapter 30.I happened to write chapter 30, so I will be reading chapter 30. So let's get going.Chapter 30:show up, throw up, grow up."Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all," Helen Keller.

We talked about the importance of growing together in your relationship in chapter 17. In this chapter, we're gonna explore how adventure can be a powerful tool for that growth and for deepening your bond.As part of our personal growth journey, Mer and I wanted to make sure we were looking at our past and addressing any deeply embedded traumas or limiting beliefs in our subconscious.

I heard about ayahuascaas... I heard about ayahuasca as a tool for this kind of work. Some people say it can be as effective as 10 years of therapy. I don't know exactly who they are, but let's call them Big Ayahuasca

Whoever they are had me curious. I wanted to try it. But I wasn't interested in some fly-by-night shaman showing up at our house in Canada. I wanted the real deal experience with a true shaman in a place where the practice has roots going back thousands of years. So I did some research, then I shared everything I found with Mer.

We chit-chatted about it and agreed this was an adventure we wanted to take together. We're both firm believers in the importance of growing together and the importance of adventure, so why not combine them? Would it be an exponential experience? Yes. Yes, it would. So we booked a trip to Peru, specifically the Sacred Valley.

We flew into Cusco, stayed a couple of nights, had a Machu Picchu adventure, big bucket list item, then boarded a bus to a retreat center where we'd spend three days and particip- and participate in two ayahuasca ceremonies.We chose this particular venue because it was highly rated, had onsite medical facilities, Western medical professionals on staff, and local healers and shamans.

We knew there was a risk involved, but we wanted to mitigate that risk as much as possible. We felt confident about this place after extensive research. Our advice to you, if you ever feel called,if you ever feel called to something like this, is do your research and only choose a place you truly feel safe.

This is not a decision to be ta-be made lightly.The drive through the Sacred Valley was breathtaking. When we arrived at the retreat center, nestled high in the Andays.Andies? Andes.When we arrived at the retreat center, nestled high in the Andes, I immediately thought it was...I immediately thought it had one of the most spectacular views I'd ever seen.

There was a bench on site where I would sit for hours in complete gratitude, staring at those mountains and breathing in the fresh mountain air. Magical doesn't begin to cover it. When we arrived, they took our...When we arrived, they took our vitals as a baseline, gave us an orientation, and then each of us met individually with a psychologist.

After our assessments, we were introduced to the shamans and healersadministe-medicineand oversee the ceremonies.That first night, we entered a large circular room with big skylights and 15 single mattresses lined along the walls like numbers on a clock, if clocks had 15 numbers.

You get the visual.Next to each mattress is a bucket and a roll of toilet paper, a preview of what was to come.Here's the thing about ayahuasca. Within about an hour, most people vomit, the purge, or less commonly, they poop. It's normal. In fact, it's a good thing. You wanna get the medicine out of your body.

The buckets were for vomiting. The pooping can be done in the bathroom down the hall. The toilet paper next to the bed is to wipe your mouth and face

I tell you all of this so that it's clear that we were not expected to poop in a bucket in a room full of strangers. That would be weird. This whole experience was strange enough. That would take it up a level or two The ceremony began with meditation and breathwork to set intentions. Then comes the medicine.

Each person's dose was customized based on the psychological assessment, medical history, and body size. I'm bigger than Mer, so my shot was bigger. When they handed me my serving, it looked like a shot glass of motor oil. I took a deep breath and threw it back, and yep, it tasted exactly as you'd expect.

Not good. It had notes of black licorice and dirt.Mer and I had mattresses beside each other, even though the facilitators encouraged us to keep some distance so we wouldn't distract each other. LOL. They obviously do not know us. There was 0% chance we wouldn't be side by side during something like this.

A little over an hour after ingesting the medicine, I began to experience a kaleidoscope of bright colors and shapes, and the most euphoric feelings I've ever experienced. I was crying tears of gratitude and joy for all the good in my life, for Mer, for getting to have this experience, and for being in that moment.

Words can't really describe it. It was pure joy and bliss.Then came the purge. Violent, nonstop, body-wracking vomiting. My tears quickly shifted from joy to sheer exertion.And then complete calm. I laid back, staring through the skylights into the night, lost in euphoria.Finally, I looked over at Mer. She was having a different experience.

I will let her tell you all about it

My experience started beautifully. Like Craig, I'd initial- I had an initial rush of gratitude and joy for my life, my husband, and this moment, but that ended quickly.For hours, I felt like death. Miserable, physically ill, desperate for relief. I remember just wanting it to be over. I wanted so badly to vomit.

I wanted to go home. I was genuinely worried I might never feel normal again. I was genuinely worried I might never feel normal again.Most people finish their journey within a few hours, then had their vitals checked with the doctor, ate a piece of fruit, rehydrated with some water. Not me.I knew I was not ready to be left alone.

- quick note, men and women were staying separated into rooms, so Craig and I weren't sleeping in the same quarters during the retreat. I was sharing a room with two lovely women on their own journeys.

I was among the last to leave the ceremony space.Though my vitals were normal, I was clearly struggling. The doctor put me on a gurney in the medical center to be monitored. I couldn't eat. I was writhing in pain, sweating, crying. I was struggling hard. It was awful.Craig's experience was ending, but he refused to leave me.

He climbed up onto that tiny gurney with me, holding me, rubbing my back. I drifted off once or twice, although I'm not sure how. We're not small people. We barely fit in a double bed, let alone a hospital gurney. He didn't sleep the entire night.Around 6:00 AM, I finally started to feel like myself again.

Though it was an incredibly awful experience, it's one I'm extremely grateful for. I survived it. I came through it. It almost broke me, but it didn't.I did something I didn't think I could do.It taught me the hard way that I'm stronger than I ever realized. That lesson is mine forever.

Watching Mer struggle, my instinct was to take her pain away.I wanted to trade places with her, but the reality was that I couldn't do that. In my blissful state, I realized something. Taking away her pain wasn't my job.My urge to be her hero was my ego talking. I began to question it. What makes me think I can handle it any better than she's handling it?

She's a rock star. She's a superhero. She's tough as nails, one of the toughest people I know, and she doesn't need me to, quote-unquote, "save her." She's got this. That was my biggest takeaway from night one. We are all on our own journey, and all we need to go through our own-- and we all need to go through our own experiences and learn our own lessons.

If we step in and take away someone else's pain, we rob them of the chance to grow and learn the lessons they were meant to. Mer didn't need me to be her knight in shining armor. She just needed, she just needed me to be there with her, to support her on her journey.The next day, we volunteered at a local elementary school.

The kids swarmed us with curiosity and joy. Some were shy and took a little while to warm up. Others did not. They walked right up to us and grabbed our hands.Mer and I were pretty popular with the kids. We like to be pretty active, so they were chasing our, so they were chasing us around the schoolyard and playing tag.

It was a blast.Peru is a third world country, and that school was not the same as the schools I experienced as a kid, but what was the same was the love those kids had for fun and adventure.The joy of watching kids being kids is universal. They didn't care who we were at home, what we looked like, or where we came from.

They just wanted to hang out with us and have a good time. We'll probably never see those kids again, but in that brief adventure together, we shared something specialWe'll probably never see those kids again, but in that brief adventure together, we shared something special.Later that night, we had our second ayahuasca ceremony.

We went to the same room and had the same meditation ceremony to set an intention And then we took another dose of the motor o- And then we took another dose of the motor oil-like substance. This time though, Mer and I changed places. We were still side by side, but I would have the miserable experience while she had a beautiful night full of gratitude.

Here she is to desc- here she is to describe her second experience in her own wordsTo be honest, I wasn't sure I was even going to participate in the second ceremony. I was barely recovered from the first ceremony and hadn't slept at all the previous night. Was I really gonna put myself through that again?

What if I had the same experience? What if it was worse?I was terrified of having another bad experience, so I spoke to the psychologist and told him I might just sit in the room and be part of the experience, but not take the medicine. He told me that was fine. It was up to me.I was sitting with that decision for the rest of the afternoon leading up to the ceremony that evening when I suddenly realized that I didn't want fear to be in my driver's seat.

If I didn't take the medicine and participate in the second ceremony, it would be because I was scared.I don't wanna make decisions based on fear.So while feeling strong and proud of myself for doing such a hard thing the night before, I told the psychologist that I would participate in the ceremony, but that I would like to take only half the dose I had taken the night before.

I was going to apply some lessons learned.When the ceremony time rolled around that night, I was very nervous. He gave me my half dose. I downed that motor oil before I could talk myself out of it, and I'm so glad that I did.I had a much different experience than I had the first night. It was a milder experience, thankfully.

When one of the healers came to the foot of my bed and started singing, which is normal for the ceremony, the healers move around the room and chant and do their healer things based on your energy. The first night, a healer stayed with me for quite a while, but I was too sick to notice.On the second night, I was more aware.

She touched my feet through the blanket and sang to me, and I started to cry.I f- it felt like grieving. I didn't fight the feelings of sadness inside me. I felt them. I leaned into the crying. I cried until I had nothing left. It felt in that moment like I was grieving the older versions of me.Once the grieving stopped, it was replaced by such intense gratitude for Craig and our relationship.

It was replaced by appreciation for find-it was a- it was replaced by appreciation for myself, for finding him, and lettinghi-It was replaced by appreciation for myself, for finding him and letting him in, and trusting him, and trusting me. I dozed briefly after that, and then when I was ready to leave the ceremony,Craig was prepared to go, too.

We left together, had our vitals checked, ate some fruit, chatted with another couple,and then headed back to our rooms.I had made it through the second ceremony.It was gentle, healing, and beautiful

My second night was not the same as Mer's, nor was it the same as my first night.About an hour after taking the ayahuasca, I began to see really dark and scary images rolling through as if they were scenes in a horror movie. Skulls, demons, swords, and killing. It was actually pretty frightening. I didn't love those images.

I kept trying to tell myself it's not real. It's just a part of the experience. I was trying to stay present and talk myself through it. The last image came through my mind, it was an enormous fire-breathing dragon. As it rolled past, it began to turn, showing me what was behind the big, scary dragon. What I saw was that it was not a real dragon at all.

It was made of metal, and there was a tiny man inside operating the controls.My subconscious was telling me that my fears aren't real. We make our fears seem bigger than they really are. They're not something to be scared of.I never did purge the ayahuasca from my body in the second ceremony, which isn't great.

It's better to get rid of it. The rest of the night was rough. I was shivering and felt a little haunted. I had to keep reminding myself that it's not real, and this too shall pass.It was a mental challenge that eventually passed, and I felt fine within a few hours. My biggest takeaway from night two: fear is all about perception.

By stepping back, you see the truth. None of it's real.Just as our first personal growth event in Utah from chapter 17stretched us in ways we never expected, this ayahuasca experience did the same.As individuals, we both grew massively. On its own, that would have been incredibly powerful, but the togetherness of the experience amplified it.

Supporting each other through pain and breakthroughs, caring for each other in the,caring for each other in the worst moments, celebrating each other in the best moments, plus the day volunteering with the kids and the Machu Picchu adventure, we created core memories and lessons we'll carry forever.We came away knowing this: Adventure is an essential catalyst for growth.

It reinforced the power to-- It reinforced the power of adventure to deepen your bond and lay an unbreakable foundation for your relationship.Growth and adventure not only shape who we are individually, but who we can become together as the couple, as the couple we're building,and as the future we're creating.

Mer's gonna take over, and we're gonna create that future togetherBoom.That's the end of chapter 30, and also the end of part five That's the end of part five, commitment to fun and adventure. Uh, it's an interesting way to wrap the, uh, the whole section. Mm-hmm. It, you know, commitment to fun and adventure.

Those, the first few chapters in thatsection were more on the fun- Mm-hmm ... side of the fun and adventure, and then this last chapter was more on the adventure side of things. But it, it is a, it's, it's... We, very, right at the very end, I talk about how it, that whole trip, uh, created so many core memories for us.

Mm-hmm. Just, you know, the, obviously the, the stuff with the Ayahuasca and the, the growth opportunities that we experienced there, but also- I learned I love passion fruit ... you learned you love passion fruit. Machu Picchu adventure. Mm-hmm. The day with the kids. All of it combined, it was a life-changing adventure.

Mm-hmm. And we came back from that adventure changed as individuals, but also changed as a team. Mm-hmm. , these big adventures that stretch you, that challenge you, that put you outside your comfort zone, that,you know, force you into showing up a little bit differently to figure something out,those are leapfrog moments in your relationship.

, there's a place in your relationship for the small daily moments, but there is also for those big leapfrog moments like this. Mm-hmm. I guess. But we didn't tell anyone we were going to do this- ... before we went. No. This was something that we just sort ofcovertly researched just among the two of us. We watched lots of documentaries. You did loads of research on it,found the place,and we felt comfortable enough to pull the trigger, and didn't tell a soul before we did it.

Yeah. I think a lot of people were surprised- ... when we came back and told them we did ayahuasca. Yeah, I'm not even sure if some of them didn't learn onthe- Well- ... from the book. Yeah. Well, we did a podcast on it, too- Yeah ... a while back. So some, some people probably learned it there. So yeah, I'm sure. But I think, I, I think it came as a surprise because generally speaking, we are,were perhaps is a betterdescriptor, s- fairly risk-averse generally through life.

Like, I think most people would consider taking ayahuasca in Peruin the higher risk category of adventures and activities you can do. Everyone's got their own risk tolerance, right? But yeah, some people would cons- consider that a high-risk activity, and old me probably would have as well. Um, but yeah, given, you know, when you jump into entrepreneurship and you choose a differentpath than your, you know, y- the typical path that I had been on for years and years and years, then yeah, my risk tolerance changed quite a bit.

It was like we recalibrated our risk meter. For sure. Yeah. I mean, 10-year-ago version of me, would it have, would that, would that guy have gone to, uh, Peru and done ayahuasca? Mm, uh, probably not. Mm-hmm. Uh, would that person have done so not telling another person on earth that that's where they were? Prob-eh, maybe.

I don't know.That part still seems- Yeah, that could be me. Yeah, that could be. Butyeah, it was just sort of something we decided to do to trygo all in. We were on this personal growth journey, and this just felt like the nextlogical step, I guess. It just, yeah, it was pulling.It- We kept, we hearing, we kept hearing about it everywhere in books and- Well, I, I just think that everything is, happens when it's meant to andfor a reason, and, you know, the universe has a way of lining things up so that things happen- Mm-hmm

for you. And yeah, we kept hearing about it, and it was like, hmm, maybe that's the nudge that we're trying to, that we're looking for because, you know, we've been reading all the books, listening to podcasts, all the things and, you know, implementing a lot of that stuff. But then there's also this component, I think, that, you know-You know, reading the books anddoing those,uh, little, taking a nugget here and there from each thing that you kinda grab onto, uh, whether it be a podcast or a book,m- yeah, it changes you little by little.

Mm-hmm. And eventually, you- you've rewritten your whole life, and that's fantastic. Kinda like micro adventures. Right. Yeah. But whereas with ayahuasca, I felt like it was more of a home run swing. Mm-hmm. A big, a big ticket swing that could really move you leaps and bounds.And so, but I didn't wanna put that much pressure on it.

I was just like, it has, you know, hearing things like, uh, that can be as powerful as 10 years- Mm-hmm ... of therapy. Whether that's true or not, I, it, I don't think that I, I got that level of, of impact from it, but I do believe that it was more impactful than reading a book. Mm-hmm.It also cost more than a book.

So I mean, you know what I mean? There's-

It was, I think it was the right adventure for us at the right moment. Mm-hmm. And I wouldn't change it even though parts of it really weren't comfortable. Parts of it sucked, but overall it was awesome. But yeah, that first night, uh, for you was not, not good. No. And I, I was, I would say, really nervous to do it.

I think I was more nervous than you. Like, you were more pulled to it. I was more apprehensive about it, and I don't know if that factored in, but I certainly... I didn't purge the first night, and I think not purging is not good. Like- I, I agree, 'cause I didn't the second night ... it, like, you have to metabolize it.

It takes so long. Such a small sample size, but the one night you didn't- Mm-hmm ... you, you weren't feeling well. The one night I didn't, I didn't feel well. I, I didn't purge either night, but I took so much less the second night that it was just such a smaller, um,such a m- more muted impact, I think. Yeah.

Whereas that first night, yeah, I, uh- Barfed your brains out. Yeah. For a while.It was, it was aggressive. We'll, we'll certainly call it aggressive. It felt like, like, I talk about it. Like, I kinda joke about it in the book around, like,tears of gratitude, and then they turn to, like, tears- Exertion ... of, of exertion.

Yeah.Uh, but it's not not true. Like, it... That's what it was. Like, I was literally h- I didn't even know at first. Like, I was, I was, I was having such this m- moment of gratitude and sheer joy and bliss, and I didn't even realize, but I, I was literally bawling my eyes out. Like, tears were running down my face, and then eventually ayahuasca, like, my body was just like, "Yeah, time to get rid of this,"and just started...

You know, like, just that body-wracking, like, you're, like, clenching every muscle in your body,throwing up and getting it all out of you.But then it was, like, snot and tears and- ... everything was coming outta my face. A lot of mucus. Yeah.Um, glad the toilet paper was thereFor face wiping Not bum wipingOh my God.

Uh, I had a... I was laughing hard. I forgot about that paragraph in the book. It is... That was pure gold, Bennett. Yeah. Well, it was true. W- And then in the big ayahuasca. Who are they? We'll call them big ayahuasca. That was a good line.But yeah, the, the ayahuasca experience ov- like, at the micro level, like, when you, when you zoom in to the moments, most of it was brutal, but the macro look at it from the, especially, like, from the hindsight perspective, looking back at the whole experience, the,the personal growth I experienced, the connection between the two of us, the memories that we created, like, from a zoomed-out 40,000-foot view, it was a wonderful experience, and I learned a lot and grew a lot as a human being and would never trade it.

Yeah. When you zoom in on the moments, most of them were hard. But those moments, those moments were... Like,sure, if you zoom in on them, they're hard. Mm-hmm. But when you zoom out, the trip, the, those moments, they're, like, there's not that many of them. Mm-hmm. Like, it's- Mm-hmm ... like,a snapshot in time of a couple hours here and a couple hours there, but the whole trip of, you know, going to Cusco, uh, going to Machu Picchu, interacting with the vendors around Cusco- Mm-hmm

um, the drive out to the retreat center in the mountains was so beautiful. Mm-hmm. Then, you know- The train ride to Machu Picchu ... a lot of the time- Yeah ... yep, and a lot of the time at the retreat center- Mm-hmm ... there was a lot of downtime- Yeah ... we didn't really talk about in the book. Mm-hmm. I alluded to the spending hours on that bench.

It was this, it was such a nice view- Mm ... sitting on that bench. I would sit there, and you, you were in this valley with the, and there was this mountain peak kind of between the valley that you could just, like, stare at, and it, it felt like you were, like, it's right there. Yeah. It's huge, and it's right there.

Like, we're so close.Um, but just breathtaking, and it was, kinda had a little bit of a chill, um, in the mornings. Mm-hmm.And you just sit there and-contemplate life and have gratitude for kind of the adventure that you're on and the experience that you're having. The adventure other people are on, too. Yeah.

Like, we didn't get any of that. We met a lot of great people. Yeah. Yeah, all the, all the other retreat participants- Mm-hmm ... attendees. Uh, they were lovely humans. All on their own personal growth journey, all- Yeah ... you know, willing to go on this adventure. From all over the world. Mm-hmm. Norway, UK,Romania, I think.

Mm-hmm. Like, all over the world. Like, it was, it was cool. And getting to, yeah, interact with them, learn their stories, and like there was debriefs and- Mm-hmm ... things like that. Then there were sessions with the shamans that weren't inside of that,um- Ceremony ... ceremony. Uh, it was all of it was just a really cool experience.

And to be fair, to be clear I guess, the reason we picked that one, which we alluded to in the book, was the Western medicine component, like the medical facilities on site, the physician, the nurses, the psychologist. Like, all of those pieces really helped mitigate the risk, bring some level of comfort to an otherwise pretty big leap of faith.

Yeah. H- doing that, having that experience, and not having those professionals checking your vitals, making sure you're okay, um, having a psychologist- Mm-hmm ... on site, all those things,uh, at a le- a level of risk that I just wasn't, um, I wasn't comfortable with. Yeah. And so that's why I wanted to make sure that wherever we ended up doing this, it was, it had those, those services, those resources available to us, 'cause you just never know.

Mm-hmm. And- I do hate that they separated us, though. That was the only part that changed ... the, the, the rooms, yeah, when you get to the thing, they take your phone, they take all your, like s- there's no outside communication with the outside world. They want you to just kind of- Be present ... be in the moment and present for yourself, but- Which even without the ayahuasca, it would be a cool experience.

Yeah.Um,so yeah, they take all the, take all your, all your communication devices, and then separatethe men into the male quarters and then the females into the female quarters. But I didn't love that. I, I would rather, you know, obviously stay with you thanstrangers, strange dudes, strange anyone, really. I just, yeah, that's, I would say that that was kind of themost disappointing part of it.

Mm-hmm. But in the grand scheme of things, it was kind of a- Oh, it's a good thing I was so sick that first night, so we actually did get to stay together. Yeah.There's always a way, MacKay? We always find a way. It's not like we slept in that room very much at all anyway. We were only in there for a few hours of the night, but-The kids, uh, at the school was kind of a cool experience.

Mm-hmm. Meaning, like, some of them were, um, very outgoing. Like, you didn't even... They didn't even know your name, they didn't know anything about you, but they walk- Grab you by the hand and pull you ... they walk up, grab you by the hand and... Or s- one would, like, I had one on my shoulders within 30 seconds of meeting her.

Was on my shoulders and walking down the street to the school. And, uh,yeah, I guess maybe that's...They, they have that experience. 'Cause I think this retreat center does this frequently- Mm-hmm ... so th- they're probably used to that. - Mm-hmm ... it's just, this is safe. These people are usually pretty cool. They hang out for a day and we never see them again, but usually it's kind of a fun experience for us all to go hang out and play.

I think they were just kinda used to,to that.It was, it was interesting to see the school- Mm-hmm ... and to have that experience, 'cause it's not anything like- Mm-hmm ... the schools in, in Canada. Which is another big, um, benefit, I think, to, to traveling and going on adventures, especially together, but i- uh, in general, is just-perspective- Yeah

on, like I, I didn't realize, like growing up where I grew up here on Prince Edward Island, I just couldn't wait to get off of it when I was... Like small town, everybody knows everybody. I couldn't wait to get away.And then I went to Australia,and went to beaches, and there are some lovely beaches in Australia and Europe.

And, but no nicer than the beaches I grew up going to. In fact, like I, we went, I went to Nice, and it's made of rocks. The beach is not even sandy in the South of France there. It was rocky. Couldn't believe it. Wow. And like, I was looking at sunsets and I was like, "Yeah, these are nice, but like no nicer than the sunsets we have."

Like, I just, I didn't have an appreciation for where I came from until I left. Yeah. I thinkone of the beauties of traveling is getting to experience other parts of the world and realizing how good you have it.The perspective of gratitude that you get from seeing how the rest of the world does things and lives and, I don't know, it's just a nice- Yeah, I think that's one-

perspective to have ... one aspect of it, is you get to have gratitude for where you come from. The other is you get just, have gratitude for getting to experience- Mm-hmm ... a different way of life and have a different culture. And, you know, regardless of how or what resources they had in that school, they were all, most of them were extremely happy- Mm-hmm

and laughing, and the experience of being a kid was no different there than here. Mm-hmm. They play ball. They play on the playground. They- Mm-hmm ... play with toys. They, whatever, they have- The playground looks different, the toys look different, but the same. They have their, they have their snacks. They laugh together.

They run around. They play tag. Like, that is,regardless of level of resources, the happiness didn't change. Mm-hmm. So that was cool. That was a, that was a really cool exper- I actually underrated aspect of it, 'cause I didn't really know that that was- Gonna be a part of it ... a part of it. But it was low-key, at the end of it, one of my favorite parts.

So it's just, I think I just wanna underline that theadventure as a strategy, adventure as a tool in building the connection between you is super underrated. Yes, the micro adventures that you can do on the regular, going, taking a different walking trail, doing something different than your, at your usual routine together.

But then putting yourselves both out of your comfort zone pretty significantly, experiencing something very different, pushing yourselves to limits you didn't know were possible together-Yeah ... will change how you interact with each other forever.Just th- if you ... A- and I think we talked about it, I don't know if we talked about it in earlier chapters or in a different podcast episode, but we've talked about,when you change, like, you're fundamentally changing your relationship- Mm-hmm

when one of you changes. Like, you're cha- you're going through something, you become a different person, your relationship is, h- has no choice but to also change. And so when you do that, and then your partner does that, it's an exponential shift for your relationship. Espe- 'cause if you're growing, you're growing together.

You're, you're going on the path together. It just deepens your ... Like, you, the core memories that we have from that trip, like, just sharing them now, reliving them, but we'll be doing that for f- forever, till, till we're 90. Living core memories. So getting to relive those, growing together, supporting each other through diff- difficult moments, through big moments, through, like, inflection-point-type moments.

Like-That is-What it's all about. Yeah. It, it, it's, it's like there's, there's not a lot of words for it, but it's, it's such an important tool in your relationship that- It's almost the whole point of the relationship. It's almost the whole point of the life, is to go and do things together because we're a commu- like a species of community, a species of relationship.

But going to do things, pushing yourself and experiencing different things together is literally what life is. Growing into the person you're meant to be. Like, that's, that's the point. And- That's why we live ... and then you couple that with the relationship and you get to help someone else do that, and they get to feel the experience of having someone help you through that,it's bonding.

It deepens your bond like nothing else. And so don't underestimate... Like,we have a lot of laughs and we joke around,you know, all the fun and the jokes and all the things. They're important. And s- adventure is right there with fun in that it's a pillar that you need to hone in on in your relationship. It,it's, it's obviously, it's, it's one, it's one of the five.

Mm-hmm. It's one of the five main- Mm-hmm ... pillars. And, uh, so that was fun and adventure. And the next pillar is the future, which we are going to be talking about for the next few chapters, startingnext week. Anything else for this chapter, MacKay? Nope. That's all. That's it. That's all. See you next week for the beginning of the last section, section six,part six we'll call it.

The Commitment to the Future. Mer's gonna be readingchapter 31, Dream Work Makes the Team Work. Stick around.Bye

And that's a wrap on this week's briefing. If this episode hit a nerve, don't let your momentum die Head over to the 200percentmarriage.com/unstoppableteam to take the unstoppable team audit. Find out exactly where your domestic drag is hiding so you can start optimizing your team today. And if you love the show, share it with another power couple who refuses to settle for fine, because a 200% life is better with a community.

See you on the next adventure

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Meredith & Craig

Meredith (aka MacKay). Loves rules, processes, order and efficiency. All around badass and most empathetic human you will ever meet. She feels what you feel, as strongly as you feel it. Her emotions pour from her eyeballs. Has a borderline unhealthy obsession with saltine crackers and believes squirrels are just rats with better PR. Craig (aka Bennett). Basically a giant kid with a ginger beard. Loves any game that involves a ball and seeing how many of MacKay's rules he can get away with breaking (Spoiler Alert: not many). Has un uncanny ability to give you the kick-in-the-ass you need and make it feel like a giant warm hug. Can crush a bag of Chicago Mix like Popeye does spinach We're sharing our life experiences, funny stories, failures, lessons and wisdom from this epic adventure together in hopes that it will both entertain you and equip you to live your dreams on your own epic adventure.

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Meredith & Craig

Life partners, business partners, and best friends. We left the corporate grind to become fulltime entrepreneurs... with no idea what we were doing.

That made for some interesting, amazing, stressful, awesome, painful, scary, awful, awesome, insightful, unbelievable decisions, moments, experiences, relationships, and quite honestly, we wouldn’t have it any other way.


Our marriage is the foundation for everything else we build in our lives. It is a cheat code for life, and we believe that having that part dialed in levels up every other part of life.

We help others live their dream life... and that starts with a rock solid relationship so they can level up the rest of their lives too.

Tune in for a dose of laughter, love, a gentle ass kicking, and game-changing wisdom that will help you unleash your potential and build the life of your dreams together.