Listen Now

Episode Transcription

  📍 - I don't think I even celebrated meeting you. We celebrate every day. What are you talking about?

We do, but at the time. At the time, I was waiting for you for a decade. Yeah. And I didn't celebrate that. It's crazy. What are you doing later?

We'll celebrate that tonight, okay? Wink. I

  You've built the business, you're crushing it in your career, you've scaled your impact, but are you winning at home? Welcome to the 200% Marriage podcast. We're Meredith and Craig, and we're here to help you kill that domestic drag and turn your partner into your most elite teammate. From Russian taxi mishaps to hailstorms on the summit, we're sharing the raw and real stories and tactical drills you need to move out of roommate-ville and into your 200% life.

So grab your gear. It's time to build an unstoppable team. Let's dive in

 Welcome back to another episode of the 200% Marriage podcast with Meredith and Craig. We're reading our book, The 200% Marriage: Your Winning Playbook to Be an Unstoppable Team. We're at chapter 32, coming down to the, to the wire here. Th- this is, these are the last two chapters, this week and next week.

We're each reading the chapters that we wrote. Chapter 32, written by Meredith MacKay. So Meredith MacKay, take it away. Chapter 32: Just Do It " My goal is to build a life I don't need a vacation from," Rob Hill Sr. Now that you've got your shared vision for your dream future, make it real. Don't hide it away somewhere you'll never see it and then forget about it.

Remember, it's a living document, something you'll keep updating as you hit milestones and evolve as humans and as a couple. Being reminded of it regularly makes a huge difference. Some people make a vision board. Fill your boots if that's your thing. Some tape a shortened list of it next to their computer or bathroom mirror.

Some write them out every day in a journal. Do you, boo. Our favorite move is a vision board, but not just the regular kind. We keep it as the lock screen and background on our phones. That way, every time we pick up our phone, our subconscious, our subconscious gets a reminder of what we're working toward.

And really, how many times a day is that? Fifty? A hundred? Two hundred? Five hundred? A thousand? Embarrassing, but maybe. Who really knows? It's a lot. If you do the same, that means hundreds of reminders per day of the life you're building together. All that sneaky woo-woo subconscious magic goes to work pulling those dreams closer.

Okay, so that's step one, a visual reminder. Quick side note from science: people who write their dreams down every day are forty-two percent more likely to achieve them. No footnote, of course. You can have a quick Google if you're really keen. Writing goals down daily is an excellent step one option to keep them right in front of you.

Step two takes more work, but it's fun work, the kind of work that actually makes your dreams come true. And here's the surprise: many elements of your dream life are much closer than you think once you start moving towards them. Start small. With your teammate, pick one of your regular season wins from your dream vision, the one that feels the most within reach.

Not necessarily the easiest, but the one that feels closest. We want you to start a tree... We want you to start achieving dreams now. We want you to start a-- We want you to start achieving dreams now and building momentum immediately. Because as you begin crushing goals together, that momentum carries you forward, one goal after another.

Before you know it, you're an unstoppable team. For us, escaping the harsh Canadian winters felt a lot closer than building our dream home on the ocean. Since we were building a business, we could manage it from anywhere with a laptop and some Wi-Fi. We started there. We dubbed it, we dubbed it Operation No More Winter, and we broke it into chunks.

Research becoming digital nomads. Rent out our house. Forward our mail. Find a property manager for our house. Handle admin stuff, licenses, registrations, insurance, blah, blah, blah. Find a warm destination. Once we knew the chunks, we brainstormed every action we needed to accomplish each one. My corporate brain kicked right in.

I built a project plan, which is really just a fancy way of saying an Excel spreadsheet with all the actions, who was responsible, any costs, when it needed to be done, when it actually got done. A spreadsheet version of checking things off a list.

It's how my brain works best. This may not be for everybody. It may not be for you. I'm not sure why it wouldn't be, but if it's not how you work best, do what works best for you. The message here, like everything else in this book, is however you choose to do it, just be intentional. We held weekly meetings all summer to update the list, cross things off, add new actions as we learned more.

At first, Operation No More Winter felt like a pipe dream from our perch on the frozen east coast of Canada, famous for snow, ice, wind, and general winter... and general wintry misery. But as that list started to shrink, the house got rented, the furniture got stored, the mail got forwarded, the dream began to feel possible.

Our place rented so quickly, we had to grab an interim place for October, since Craig had a marathon goal before we could leave. So that fall, we were juggling multiple dreams at once: running a marathon and planning an escape from winter. As we checked things off, the momentum built. It started to feel real, and then it happened.

We got most of the items on the list done. I say most on purpose, because we definitely didn't do everything, and that's okay. We nailed the critical ones that were prerequisites for leaving. The rest didn't matter. What did matter was that we started to feel like an unstoppable team. The little things that would usually spark snarky comments or minor tiffs just didn't matter.

We had our eyes on the bigger prize.

We each knew the other was doing their best to achieve the goal, and we celebrated the little milestones along the way. Sometimes it was our marriage secret handshake, a fist bump, or a tap on the bum. Sometimes it was an ice cream when we went out for a walk. Other times it was a nice dinner. Working through big things together forges bonds.

You get into flow with each other. Fun fact: on that very trip, we came up with the name of our coaching business, Road of Life Coaching. Craig had a flash of brilliance in the shower, where apparently some of his best ideas come. In case you're wondering why the name, one, we love road trips. Fun fact, a road trip was our first trip together.

What better way to really get to know someone than spend hours together with nothing but the open road, a radio, and each other? Two, because life is like a road trip. It's not the destination that matters most, it's who you're with and the adventures you have along the way. Good things happen when you chase your dreams.

All of this to say, your dreams are much closer than you realize, and achieving them together is rocket fuel to becoming an unstoppable team. Now it's your turn. Pick one element of the future you designed together, something you can start working on today. Sit down, break it into bite-sized chunks, brainstorm as many actions need...

Then brainstorm as many specific actions needed to make those chunks happen as you can. Boom, you've got a plan. Don't forget to celebrate that you have a plan. Bum taps are in order. Be fancy, like me, with a spreadsheet if you like, or go simple with a whiteboard, a notebook, or a journal dedicated to the dream.

Whatever works. Just make sure you track it, and most importantly, meet regularly to update the list. Keep checking things off. Living the first accomplishment in your dream life is critical. It proves you can do it. It demonstrates your dream life is closer than you think. Most importantly, it puts you in momentum, and momentum is everything.

It's how you break through walls. When you hit a brick wall, the outcome of that collision depends entirely on your momentum. If you crash into it slowly, you'll stop cold. If you slam into it with momentum, you'll smash right through the darn thing. Life works the same way.

You will hit obstacles. Obstacles are inevitable. But with enough momentum, you bust through the obstacles and keep going. Like a truck rolling downhill, once momentum builds, it's hard to stop. That's where you wanna be. So much momentum that you're unstoppable on your road to living the life of your dreams.

Your road of life, if you will. See what I did there? And one more thing. When you achieve that first element of your dream life, really celebrate that mofo. Celebrating is such an important, yet often overlooked, part of the journey. I wasn't always a good celebrator. In fact, the old version of me wasn't much of a celebrator at all.

I can't really remember celebrating any of my accomplishments as a grownup

Which brings me to the second of the two invaluable lessons I learned from the other Coach Bennett, we talked about way back in chapter 10. You didn't think I forgot, did you? On one of my first runs, Coach Bennett said most people wait until after the run to celebrate. He called BS. You promised yours- you promised yourself you'd run today, and here you are, running.

Celebrate that. Celebrate starting at the beginning like you did in chapter one. Celebrate the middle in the middle like you did throughout this book. Celebrate finishing at the end like you're about to do. You don't have to wait for a particular point to celebrate. Just because you're not where you wanna be doesn't mean you shouldn't or can't celebrate where you are.

Oof. Did that hit you hard too? Do you wait until circumstances are perfect to celebrate? Do you set rules for yourself on what's celebration worthy? Like, "I'll celebrate when I get the promotion. I'll celebrate when I can afford the vacation. I'll celebrate when I meet the right person." Newsflash: You probably won't.

I've talked to plenty of high-achieving, perfectionist, people-pleasing folks with a hefty dose of imposter syndrome, . who all resist celebrating small steps, including myself. But here's the truth: Waiting to celebrate the big stuff doesn't work. It's celebrating the small stuff that propels you forward to achieve the big stuff First, because if you only celebrate the big stuff, how many celebrations do you actually get?

Usually not many, because by the time you achieve that big thing you wanted months or years ago, you're already chasing the next big thing. Second, celebrating the small steps builds momentum, and momentum, as we've said, is what carries you through obstacles and brick walls. You always want more momentum.

Celebrating might seem silly. It might feel like a waste of time. We both used to believe that. But it's not foolish. It's necessary to achieve the things you want in your life, like a thriving marriage. If you wanna celebrate the big results, you've gotta celebrate the little wins along the way. You've got to celebrate the journey.

Did you celebrate co-creating your dream life together? Huge win. Go back and celebrate that one. Did you celebrate having fun together? Did you celebrate going on an adventure together? Did you celebrate having a vulnerable conversation? Did you celebrate leaning into the discomfort? Did you celebrate resolving a disagreement?

Did you celebrate taking care of yourself first? Did you celebrate starting your day with gratitude? Did you celebrate appreciating your teammate? Did you celebrate forgiving them? Did you celebrate forgiving yourself? Did you celebrate every time you led with your 200% marriage mindset? Did you celebrate apologizing first?

Did you celebrate picking up this book? Did you celebrate reading to this point? Will you celebrate finishing it? Will you celebrate discussing it with your teammate? Celebration doesn't have to mean fancy dinners or expensive nights out. They can be small. It can be a private celebration or shared with others.

Sharing is a great way to honor progress and spread the celebration habit. Try a celebration jar. Toss ideas in whenever they occur to you, and then just pull one out when it's time. Or keep a list on your phone and pick from together. Or keep a list on your phone to pick from together. The process matters less than the practice.

Just celebrate. It's not arrogant, braggy, or cringe-worthy. It's necessary. Take our word for it, at least until you see the difference firsthand. you're worth celebrating. Every small step towards your dream life is worth celebrating. That's why we start every mastermind and coaching call by celebrating your wins Celebration fuels your momentum, and your momentum carries you forward.

And that momentum, it's carrying us straight into the final chapter of this book. Over to Craig to wrap this bad boy up. Boom. Chapter 32. As Nike said, "Just do it." In the books. In the books, yeah. This is a big one from, uh, the perspective of, like, chapter 31 was getting the plan together, and chapter 32 is e- execute on it.

Put it into practice. Let's just, let's just start doing it. Mm. And as we're doing it, fucking celebrate it. Mm-hmm. Because, you know, I... It's such an important aspect that f- I mean, we overlooked it for 90% of our lives- Mm-hmm ... and I think most people do. Uh, most people aren't good at celebrating the small moments along the way.

We wait for the big things, like- And then we don't- ... the big promotion, and then we might not even do that. M- maybe we'll have a dinner or- Pfft ... maybe. Very seldomly. Like, you, you set these big goals for yourself at work or whatever. Celebrate birthdays. Yeah, fine. Like, the- Anniversaries. We do those things.

But- We didn't celebrate ... let's celebrate the- I, I was very much a Oh, I'm already focused on the next thing. Yeah, I finally got the promotion that I wanted for a year, and then by the time I did, I was already, like, looking at the next thing. But when you do it that way, it kind of just- Takes the fun out of life

life is not, life isn't any fun anymore. Yeah, totally. Like, right? Like it just, it's like, "Oh, I checked it off. I'm onto the next thing." It's like, yeah, but that was a big deal for you. That was a, that was something you really wanted, and you're, you're not gonna acknowledge it in any way? I can remember, like, really wanting a big promotion at work, getting to a certain level, and I did.

I don't remember one single thing I did after that to celebrate it- Yeah ... to acknowledge it, to note it. I also think that it matters what the things are. Like if, like the, the promotion, if, if you were to get really real with yourself, that promotion in the grand scheme of your life, and in that moment, yeah, it felt like it was the big thing, but in the grand scheme of life, was it actually the thing you really wanted?

Like, as far as like- With the benefit of hindsight right now, with the person I am today? Yeah. For sure not. Right. Like, 'cause you're- But in that moment... In that moment, you thought it was the thing you wanted. Yeah. More money, bigger bonus, all the things. Right. But it wasn't, it, it was what it, what it, like, kind of meant for you, like and like, it, the, the, the, the thought I'm trying to articulate is that a lot of times we create these goals that aren't necessarily meant for us.

Mm-hmm. And so they don't have a ton of meaning other than they check a box that I'm doing the life plan that I set out that I was supposed to do, and so this is one of them. Check. Okay, on to the next. Mm-hmm. Because it doesn't actually hit you here in the heart. Mm-hmm. It's just a thing that you think you need to do.

But when you take a step back and you actually really think about what are the, w- w- who, who am I really, what am I truly, really trying to accomplish in this world, and is that really that important to me? In the grand scheme, probably not. Mm-hmm. When you hone in on the things that are meant for you, I think celebrating becomes a little easier.

Um- And then you just got to build the muscle of celebrating. 100%. Like, it just takes practice. 100%. Like, I just wasn't, I was out of practice. I wasn't celebrating that stuff- Yeah ... at all. Anything. Uh, yeah. Celebrating is, uh, sh- I don't think I even celebrated meeting you. We celebrate every day. What are you talking about?

We do, but at the time. At the time, I was waiting for you for a decade. Yeah. And I didn't celebrate that. It's crazy. What are you doing later?

We'll celebrate that tonight, okay? Wink. I think the other big part of this chapter is executing and realizing, like for me, realizing that elements of your dream life are way closer than you think they are if you actually start working towards them. Like- Mm-hmm ... I thought spending winters not here was something for, like, 20 years from now me.

And when we started working towards that first Arizona winter, and we started, we created the list, we, like we talked about in the book, and there was a few points that it felt like, ooh, this is like this is the point of no return. Like, renting our house was a point of no return, and y- I could, I could see, like almost, it almost became cl- like I see the matrix almost.

Like I, I could start to see how you could, uh, sabotage that a little bit. Mm-hmm. Like- Yeah. For sure ... oh, what, like, I'm- Well, 'cause on the other side of that is fear, and it's like, "Oh-" Yeah ... "I don't know what the-" What if I don't figure out the rest of it? What if, like- Mm ... I'm gonna take this step and I'm gonna rent my house, but I still haven't figured out the next two or three things I have to do to be able to, like, actually get to Arizona, and so I've rented my house, I have nowhere to live, but I haven't actually for sure- Rented a place in Arizona

uh, yeah, I don't know where I'm gonna live. I don't know if I'm gonna even be allowed to be there. Like, I don't know all the things. Like, there's so many different things that could- But when we left for Arizona- ... pop up ... we didn't know where would we, we'd be staying. We didn't know- Right ... if we'd be able to rent an apartment.

We didn't, we didn't know that we'd be able to do it. And so, like, I could see very clearly, I had the, the feeling, the icky feeling inside of me that, like- I'm scared because I've rented my house and it's not a sure thing. So we're gonna live in this ambiguous, unknown space of nowhere to be for a period of time But I love the quote that you said in the book, "Good things happen when you chase your dreams."

Yeah. So when you do start down the path, like rent the house, it gets you one step closer to the thing, then the path starts to reveal itself. If you s- if you start out at the beginning thinking you're gonna map out the entire route to the end, you are sadly mistaken. Mm-hmm. And it, it- We tried that ... you are gonna set yourself up for major disappointment.

What you might get is two steps, maybe three. But you'll get one, so take the first one, and then the next reveals itself. And then if you keep doing that and keep building momentum, and you keep chasing your dream, good things happen and the path illuminates itself. Yeah. And you- it all works out eventually.

But there is a little bit of fear, there is a little bit of resistance, and you're gonna have to, like, just kind of, like, push through that a little bit. Mm-hmm. And that's where- And not sabotage yourself ... that's where the, that's where the growth is- Yeah ... is, is through that, that discomfort. I laugh when you say you try to plan the whole thing from A to Zed at the beginning.

And we tried that with the real estate company. Do you remember how many times- Yeah ... we had that notebook and how many plans we created? Yep. Like start to finish, soup to nuts, like, "This is how it's going to work." Yeah. Stupid. What a waste of time. Huh. Hilarious. 100 iterations and zero of them were- We're not even doing real estate.

That's what I mean, zero of them. So- So take a, take a step- It's- ... and it feels scary and y- like, even though the next step isn't ready, take the step that you can because the next step will reveal itself, and it just, it's just scary to step off into what feels like the abyss. And I think the next point of celebrating is to celebrate those little milestones along- Mm-hmm

the way because that's what leads to the next one. Mm-hmm. It builds momentum. It's like when you can... If it's just like, "Okay, next. On to the next," it's, it doesn't have any, like, pull. Mm-hmm. And you lose that momentum because things are gonna get hard as you, as you're making your way up the ladder to the hall of fame g- Like, let's remember, the hall of fame goal is, like, the, it's your big dream.

It's the massive thing that's gonna take years or decades to build. You don't think you're gonna come up against some resistance and some- Huge ... difficulty and some- Brick walls ... discomfort and, and tough moments that you're gonna have to figure out how to get through? You absolutely are, daily, like, all the time.

And so it's really, really important to celebrate the small wins as you move along, as, as you, as you, you know, scale one of those little mountains on the way to the big mountain. Celebrate that, because it's gonna give you the momentum to get to the next peak, and the next peak, and the next peak, all the way to the top.

And it's, uh, it's just so needed because those days where- you're up against it and you're like, "I don't know how I'm getting through this. I don't know how I'm getting up there." Mm-hmm. Well, if you're celebrating along the way, you just, you're in a better head space- Mm-hmm ... and you'll figure it out. And when you're in a better head space, you're coming from a place of, um, abundance.

Mm-hmm. And you've got more opportunity than you realize. But when you're coming from sad, and frustrated, and angry, you're in lack and you're not seeing all the opportunities in front of you, then you're less likely to get to the mountain top. Because y- you see what you look for. Right. So look for the opportunities and you'll find opportunities.

If you look for all the negativity and all the reasons why you can't do it, that's all you're gonna see. Yeah. So 31, build the dream. 32- Execute the dream ... execute the dream and celebrate it along the way. And then come back and celebrate finishing this book with us, chapter 33 next week. Oh. Chapter 33, I don't even remember the title of it.

Of course you do. Chapter 33: The Beginning, obviously. Obviously. The last chapter of the book, the beginning. Intuitive. Anyway, we'll see you next week. Bye.

  And that's a wrap on this week's briefing. If this episode hit a nerve, don't let your momentum die Head over to the 200percentmarriage.com/unstoppableteam to take the unstoppable team audit. Find out exactly where your domestic drag is hiding so you can start optimizing your team today. And if you love the show, share it with another power couple who refuses to settle for fine, because a 200% life is better with a community.

See you on the next adventure