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 📍 there's no three steps. There's noprocess. It's just, do something good for somebody. Put, just put good out into the world.

And the more you do that, the more you go out into the world, and you do good things, and you increase your energy and your vibes, the more you attract.

Mm-hmm. And that's the return on goodwill .

You've built the business, you're crushing it in your career, you've scaled your impact, but are you winning at home? Welcome to the 200% Marriage Podcast. We're Meredith and Craig, and we're here to help you kill that domestic drag and turn your partner into your most elite teammate. From Russian taxi mishaps to hailstorms on the summit, we're sharing the raw and real stories and tactical drills you need to move out of roommate-ville and into your 200% life.

So grab your gear. It's time to build an unstoppable team. Let's dive in

Welcome back to another episode of the 200% Marriage podcast with Meredith and Craig.If you've been paying attention, and I know you have-... we have been reading our book, The 200% Marriage: Your Winning Playbook to Be an Unstoppable Team.But we're done now. So now what? Well, now we're going to just have a conversation.

We're gonna chit-chat, if you will. Mm. It's gonna be just us chit-chatting about the things that we chit-chat about and bringing you in to those conversations. We have some of- Some of

them might be weird.

D- most- We- Most of them probably.

Some of our conversations take turns, but we just, you know, wanna bring you along on these interesting and this wild journey we have and these conversations.

It's, it's gonna be see- it's the 200% marriage in the wild, if you will. It's our experiences with it, our experiences in the world, and bringing the concepts to real life, and-

Like how these principles show up in the world.

Yeah. Sothat brings us to our-

Today ...

recent, uh, encounter we had-

Yeah ...

this past weekend.

And I think, like, an important thing to cons- like, to think about when, as we transition this podcast to this more chit-chat open forum about how the unstoppable team shows up, the 200% marriage shows up in real life, is it's more than just what happens sort of- Between you ... behind closed doors- Between you

in the four walls of your home between the two of you.

Yeah.

It's also the energy that you two bring out to the world. And I think that what we w- got up to last weekend is a really good example of that, andchanges the energy. When you show up with the 200% marriage and be an unstoppable team, the energy that you bring to the world changes.

And what we went to and the thing we listened to last weekend,it's the same principle, the energy that you bring to the world.

So we, we went to a, um,a book tour. Mm-hmm. A, a talk,uh, fro- by Sam Demma, a brilliant speaker. One of the best speakers I've ever experienced, uh, in real life, in person. He is fantastic.

And he was launching his book, Return on Goodwill. I don't know if you can see that. Mm-hmm. Return on Goodwill: Do Good, Expect Nothing, Watch Life Surprise You. And it wasan amazing example of just going into the world andbeing a good human, just doing the things, taking 100% responsibility for your place in the world, for your role in the different interactions in the day-to-day life that you have, and expecting nothing in return.

Mm-hmm. Not seeing everything you do as a transaction, just going out and being a friend, being a good human, being empathetic, being kind, asking questions, leading with curiosity. All these things we talk about in the book, in our book. There's a lot of overlap.

Yeah, there was ... He was an excellent storyteller right?

So his talk was about 45 minutes of weaving together stories that are examples of putting goodwill out into the world and expecting nothing in return. And one of the things, one of the stories, one of the principles he talked about was assuming positive intent, which said another way exactly is the same as benefit of the doubt.

Mm-hmm.

And, uh, another example was he talked about there is no failure, there is only reflection. And h- but you only get the lessons when you take a minute to reflect. And one of the examples he gave was generally when he messes up, when something g- when something goes wrong in life, something happens not the way you expect it to happen, the first thing most of us do is point fingers out.

And his take was, actually, if you reflect, you can, most of the time, solve the problem by looking internally and reflecting. Yeah. Which, again, said another way,translates 100% accurately to take accountability.

Yeah.

Take 100% responsibility for your life.

And then leading with curiosity. Mm-hmm. He told stories about, uh, you know, just by having a casual conversation with someone, a waitress or a, a hotel clerk, and just asking genuine questions because he cared about that person's kind of story-

Experience in the world

yeah. Mm-hmm. It led to amazing experiences in his life.

Mm-hmm.

And it just was, uh, I, I just, uh... It, if... I left it felt, feeling really good.

Yeah, like, I love the concept which, again, perfectly aligns with, with our book.The do good,put good out into the world and expect nothing in return, for me, feels very similar to stop keeping score.

Yeah.

Like, life is not a scorecard. You don't get to do something and then get something in return of equal or greater transactional value. And actually, it kind of reminds me, it, it made me chuckle a little bit. Uh, the week- the weekend before we went to that, I think, um, somebody we know down the street was going to an event, and she's like, "Ca- can you give me a ride to the event?

I feel like I've done enough, given enough rides for all of you over the years that, uh, I, I'm owed some rides now."

Yeah.

I was like, "I'm happy to give you a ride downtown." "Not because I owe you rides." I

don't need the other part. You asked, and I will do it- Totally ... because I have the time, and I have the resources and the, uh, and the opportunity to do so, so I will do it.

Yeah.

I just don't n- Just

to do good ...

I, I don't need the other part.

I don't, I don't do it 'cause I owe you a ride. I do it because I wanna help.

Right.

And I just... It's interesting how some people still-

Different approaches ...

yeah, like, the, the lens through which you see the world is I've put this out, I deserve to get this back.

Mm-hmm. A little bit of an entitled approach versus I've put this out, and I, I kn- I just n- know the world will return.

It's going through life seeing everything as a transaction, and some people do that. Like,I did good, and I expect nothing in return, and whatever happens- Mm-hmm ... it all works out.

Mm-hmm.

Some people go into it with, "I'm gonna do this because at some point- There's gonna be an

invoice. ...

I'm gonna, I'm gonna call in that, that, that chit or that card, and I'm gonna get that favor back." Mm-hmm. And it's just like it- but people feel that, and especially in your relationship too, is like, just do the things that need to be done because you care and you want to be helpful, and you want to contribute.

And just if you go through life with that lens, then all the other stuff just hap- it, it, it happens, and it comes to you as a byproduct of just going out into the world and spreading good energy and love and, and having a good

vibration. Well, you can go call it karma. Yeah. Same thing.

Yeah. Like,

you get out what you put back,

and- But if you go into it with, uh, with that transaction mentality, all your relationships will be transactions.

For sure. And there's actually a lot of research that shows if you were to spend the time, resources, energy, all the things, on doing something for yourself that you think will make you happy versus doing something for someone else to help a, a random stranger or someone that you loveStudies show that your sense of happiness, joy, fulfillment, peace, all the things, is exponentially greater when you do good for someone else than when you do something that you think will make you feel good.

Yeah.

Even though it's something that you think will bring you happiness, doing a random act of kindness for a stranger-Ex- ... exponentially more valuable to you and makes you feel so much better.

And I will tell you that it- it, anecdotally-

Mm-hmm ...

it is 100% true. Because I've had the experience of doing something for myself, going out, buying something or doing something, spending the day on myself- Mm-hmm

versus if you go down the street and, uh, s- for example, so I, I was, I was in Calgary, Alberta-

Canada. ...

uh, one day, and I was walking downtown. I was there for, for work. This was years ago. I was there for... I still remember this so clearly. I was, I was walking down the street and there was this guy, and I walked past him.

He was sitting on the sidewalk. He was,um, he looked like he was in distress, like he wasn't, you know, doing well. And I walked past, and something in me said,"Go s- go stop and talk to him." And so I went back, and he was sitting against a brick wall on the sidewalk, and I, uh, asked him if I could sit down with him.

And he said, "Yeah,sure." And so I, I did. I sat down next to him, and I had this conversation. I asked him, "So, like, how's it going?" And, uh, I asked him if he was hungry, and he was. And I asked him if there, if there was anything he would like to eat. "There's a, there's a hamburger place just up the street. Would you eat a hamburger if I got you a hamburger?"

He said, "Yep." And then he had a request: no onions and no mayo.I remem- Fair. I remember specifically no onions, no mayo on this hamburger. Uh, so I went around the corner, I grabbed two hamburgers, I came back, and a bottle of water. And I came back and I sat with him, and I gave him the hamburgers and the bottle of water, and I asked him how things were, like, you know, what happened.

And he said, you know, he fell on hard times. He used to be a butcher at this, at this store. What it all, all... He told me a story.And, um, you know, I couldn't do m- m- much else for him, but I kn- I know that he, you know, he really, really appreciated me sitting there with him because he, he mentioned that, you know, almost every single person just walks by.

Mm-hmm. And never even notices him.

Don't

even glance

in his direction.

Or he, or he feels like he's- Invisible ... he's invisible. Mm-hmm. Like no one ever sees him. Uh, but he said, you know, he really appreciated that I took the time to, like, uh, sit down, uh, just as a human being and, and hear his story. And I think the food was nice, but I think it was secondary- Mm-hmm

to the, just the feeling- Feeling seen ... that he got that- Yeah ... yeah, someone actually even cared- Yeah ... enough to sit with him.

Well, as, as humans, like, I think our primary desire in life is to feel seen, heard, and understood.

100%.he told me his story. I gave him the hamburgers and walked away.

And, and I think I took away more from that- Mm-hmm ... whole experience than he did. As much as he felt seen and appreci- uh, you know, and appreciated me, you know, sitting there with him, for me, the, the high that I had the rest of that day- Mm-hmm ... uh, you, you could like, if you could sell that, it's, it, it'd be- You could bottle that and sell it

like it'd be a billion-dollar industry. Yeah. It's like drugs.

Which is crazy, 'cause all it takes is a couple- Is being kind ... minutes of doing something for somebody else. And you know, one of-

Total investment for me-

Mm-hmm ...

15, 20 minutes and a c- like 10 bucks, 15 bucks- Mm-hmm ... for a couple hamburgers and a bottle of water.

Yeah. Like,

like- And to your point, the food was secondary. Yeah. Your total investment could have been 10, 15 minutes of

your time. Literally, literally if I had just sat there with him, I would've gotten the same high. He would've gotten the same, uh-

Experience,

high. Yeah. Maybe not as full a belly. Mm-hmm. So I, I, I love the fact that, you know, I know that he had a meal that day.

Mm-hmm. I don't know that he gets a meal every day.

Mm-hmm.

And, uh, but, but to your point, like it's such a small investment.

And that's,like I think for people listening, that's a pretty big investment to be, to be fair. Like, for most people who walk past something like that every day, stopping to sit down, spend 15 minutes, go get the food, come back, like,that would be a big investment for a lot of people.

I think the bigger the investment, the bigger return you feel of, of fulfillment and contentment and peace and joy and just pride in what, in what you've done. But I think it can also be really small. Like, I, one of my favorite things to do when we're, when I'm like, you know, go for a run downtown, like especially in the summer when there's a million tours around is you see them all trying to get a selfie, or like half the family, like the mom or the dad trying to get a picture of the rest of their family. And so I'll always stop my run and ask, like, "Do you want me to get a picture of all of you?" And most of the time they're like, "Oh my God, yeah, thank you."

So sometimes I'll stop my run four, five, six times if there's a lot of people around.

Yeah.

But every single time people are so grateful, and I just leave with a big smile on my face. Like, now they have a, a, a, like a, a visual representation of this memory they've created as a family, and I got to be a part of it.

Yeah. And it, it, it's, it, it is such a small little thing- Takes me five seconds ... that costs you, like, very little time. Nothing. Like nothing.

Yeah.

Except 15-

Interrupts my run for 30 seconds ...

fif- 15 seconds of your time. Yeah. It, it, it's also similar to, and where I thought you were going, is when we go for runs and you're on the path or on the trail or on a course or whatever, and you are passing someone- Oh, yeah

in either direction, uh, and you just put out your fist for the fist bump.

Yeah.

And it just shows... Like, I can't... Like, we did the, the Terry Fox run.

We'll talk about that in a minute

actually. We'll talk about that in a second. Yeah. On Saturday. Actually, the night after the, the- Mm-hmm ... the return on goodwill talk, and there was some goodwill stuff that we'll talk about there.

But literally on that, on the run, you just, you know, you walk by, you f- you run by, you fist bump them. Mm-hmm. And I can't tell you how many times people look a little bit confused at first- Yeah ... when they see the fist out, and then they notice what's happening, and then they fist bump, and they look at you with a giant ass smile on their face.

Yeah. And I- A huge smile.

Yeah.

And just that alone, the return on that... Like, I, I, I'm not... Like, I'm just doing it m- as much for me as it for them. Yeah, totally. But just, it's, like, it's, it's a boost for me when I'm on a tough run. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, "Hey, I, I need this. They probably need it too."

Yeah.

This is, this is juice for both of us.

Yeah. I-

It's... And, and I do it just to, like, put the smile on their face.

I, I usually do a high five instead of fist bumps. I never know how hard someone's gonna come in, and I don't love a really hard fist bump. But I usually put my hand out for a high five, and95% of the time I get a high five back.

There's the odd 1% that don't notice, or they're in the zone or whatever, but most people are like, "Oh, yeah." Like, they almost like... I can almost see the, like, the, the voice in their head going, "What? Oh, yeah, I'll high five this person." And then they'll high five me, I'll high five them. I just feel- Yeah ... so energized.

It

gives you, it gives you the extra boost on your run.

Yeah, yeah.

And it give th- it gave them a boost. So it's, it's like you created energy out of nothing-

Yeah ...

for both of you.

Yeah.

And that's, I think that is the return on goodwill, is like when you go out and do that thing, you're creating energy for you and for them that just, like, wasn't there before.

Maybe you were both maybe in a, in a lower place. Yeah. Up your frequency, you fist bump someone, and voila, both of you now have this extra juice to now carry on in your run-

Yeah ...

to finish.

It's pretty cool. So let's talk about the Terry Fox Run actually. Um,if you don't know who Terry Fox is, you're obviously not Canadian 'cause he's a national treasure.

Um, but he was diagnosed with cancer when he was young, lost his leg at-I don't know, 19 or something, and decided to run across Canada, East Coast to West Coast, a marathon a day on one leg for f- I mean, how many- Hundreds ... he did like 48 days or-

100 and- 143 ... 40-something days. Straight. And he, and he got- Marathon a day

halfway across Canada. He, he-

Before he had to stop. And-

Before the cancer came back and forced him to stop. Yeah. But literally from St. John's, Newfoundland- He dipped his, yeah ... he dipped his leg in the, uh, dipped his leg- In the ocean ... in the ocean, and planned to do the same in, in Victoria, BC.

Unfortunately, wasn't able to make it all the way, but Thunder Bay, Ontario. People don't understand, Canada is such a massive country, and Thunder Bay to Toronto alone is such an insane- Yeah ... distance. In a different

province.

Yeah. In the sa- it's, it's still in Ontario.

Yeah.

But he did half of Canada,and yeah, unfortunately wasn't able to, to complete it.

The cancer came back. But, uh, the Terry Fox Run is held annually to carry on his legacy f- for raising money for cancer research. And- The Marathon

of Hope.

Yeah, the Marathon of Hope. And it is to continue what Terry started, but unfortunately wasn't able to finish. Yeah. So we get to finish it every year for him.

So we ran that this, yeah, this year, just this past Saturday, right at the ni- the morning after the Return on Goodwill conversation.

Yeah.And it was a really cool experience. We did the run. It was a, a circuit that you did a bunch of times.And, uh, I, I thought it was really cute. There was, a, an older couple there that, uh, they were-

An elderly

couple

they were, they were taking their time. Yeah. They, you know, they were making it happen, but they were, they were the last ones on the course. Mm-hmm. And basically everyone had left, and- It was

just us and a couple volunteers

left ... and the volunteers had packed up all the stuff. And, but the volunteers and you and I were not willing to leave until everyone had finished.

And so this couple were, you know, ma- doing their laps. And we- We would cheer them on ... we would cheer them on every time they made a, made a lap.And then on their last lap, we all walked behind themand cheered them on,uh, clapped for them, hooting and hollering. Mm-hmm.

And as they crossed, uh, you know, fist bumps- Mm-hmm ... and, and big cheers, and all the people around were

And

like- ... kind of joining in and excited too ... it

cost us nothing except maybe 20 minutes of our time- Yeah ... to wait for them to finish. And how good did you feel when we left?

Yeah, t- like on cloud nine.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Totally.

Yeah. And, and doing it with,there was no transaction, there was no expectation of anything. There was n- No ... there literally nothing other than I just wanna make sure that they feel the love and support- Seen ... of finishing- Mm-hmm ... that. Because I know how hard it was- Mm-hmm ... for them, the, but they were so dedicated to doing it.

Mm-hmm.

Uh- And the thing

about-

It was just really cool ...

thing about the Terry Fox Run is most people run for someone.

Yes.

I don't know who they were walking for

Yeah ...

but they were walking for someone and were not willing to stop

To the point where actually they were worried that their parking was going to expire- ... and they were gonna get a ticket. And one of the volunteers, and this is another example of return on goodwill- Mm-hmm

is one of the volunteers said, "Don't worry about your parking. You just keep your momentum. You keep going. Don't stop. I will take care of your parking." Mm. And she went and took care of her park- Mm ... their parking so that they could keep going on the course. So yeah, to your point, whoever they were w- w- walking for or running for, I, I don't know.

But, uh, I know who we were running forand I would not have wanted to be, to, to have stopped or been forced to not complete thatfor them

And if you extrapolate this to, because, well, our main focus is marriage. If- Mm-hmm ...

it's

the 200% Marriage podcast. But if you go into your marriage with that attitude of, "I go in for the purpose of serving and, and, andgiving back to th- my person, my relationship- Mm-hmm ... with no expectation of a transaction or some sort of return or keeping score."

Yeah, like I didn't do the dishes so that I get laid later.

Right. That's a thing that, like...I mean, do the dishes and that's- Yeah, for sure ... probably a byproduct because- For sure ... well, voila. Everyone has energy and everyone has the- ... you know? But, um,but going into it with the expectation of, of then going doing the dishes and then saying, "Hey, I did-" And then

collecting

"Hey, I did the dishes.

Let-"

Here's my invoice. "... let's go to the bedroom

now." That's

not gonna work. No. And,and then...That's just not gonna work.Uh, - it's,it's a hack. It's a s- it's the secret code to a life well-lived. It's also a secret and a hack to a relationship well-lived.

Mm-hmm. A relationship well-loved.

Well-loved.

Mm-hmm.- , there's no three steps. There's noprocess. It's just, I don't know, do something good for somebody. Put, just put good out into the world.

And the more you do that, the more you go out into the world, and you do good things, and you increase your energy and your vibes, the more you attract.

Mm-hmm. And that's the return on goodwill.But also, you're now in an elevated state, and now you're bringing that into every other relationship in your life, including your one at home.

Mm-hmm.

Your marriage.So even if you don't start, if things are a little rocky at home, and you just go out and start doing good things in the world, and elevating your energy- That

will be felt at home

you're a different person at home too.

Mm-hmm.

And that does get f- felt,and that does get a different energy back.

Mm-hmm.

And so that is another way to just start to move the needle in the direction that you're looking to move it.

With that said, go out in the world today, do something good for someone without any expectation whatsoever of getting anything back. No score keeping, no transaction mentality, just go out

For your teammate or for a random stranger. Anybody.

Whoever.

Anybody.

And just let's follow Sam's lead, um, andget his book, Return On Goodwill, Sam Demma.

It's on Amazon.

It's a great read.

It's, it's an awesome book. Uh, it's not super long. It's a great read. Uh, and then if you do get it, and you do read it, uh, write a review. Also, here's an opportunity to write a review for The 200% Marriage: Your Winning Playbook to Be an Unstoppable Team. That would be- And also, while you're writing a review for that, write- Put

that goodwill out too.

Yeah. Like, let's, let's write two reviews.And watch the world hand you everything you ever wanted.Uh, that's it from us for this episode of the 200% Marriage podcast. See you next time. Bye for now.

Bye.

Look, knowing the strategy is one thing. Executing it in the trenches of daily life is another. If you're ready to stop listening and start doing, we have a challenge for you. It's the 33 Day Unstoppable Team Challenge, 33 days of micro drills delivered right to your inbox . It's designed to snap you out of roommate-ville and get you back into a life.

Go to the200percentmarriage.com/challenge and take the first step toward your 200% life. Your team is worth the investment