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Episode Transcription

 Welcome back to the Road to Life podcast. This week, we've got a really special episode, probably an emotional one.

Yep. Buckle up. I'm probably going to cry.

Yeah. It's going to be an emotional episode, but it's a cool one. It's a special one because this week we are talking about what?

My dad and the lessons we learned from his life.

Yeah. So Bobby passed away. Bobby was Mer's dad. And he went into the hospital

middle of October, just after Canadian Thanksgiving and passed away about 10 days later on the 24th of October.

That's right.

And it was really cool that we got to spend a few days towards the end to spend some time with them, understand.

A little bit more about his life and hear some stories and hear some stories from other people who knew him who came and visited and all that stuff. So it was really cool to kind of have that time.

And we also had that time to reflect on his life and be able to, I don't know, see it from a different perspective almost and pull some lessons out of it.

Yeah. Cause he's a wild man. He lived, he lived fast. He lived. In the moment. Like, there's a lot of lessons that I actually pulled from, from Bobby.

That I didn't really notice day to day. Like, it wasn't until this that I had the perspective to step back and be able to see them. I didn't really appreciate these lessons day to day.

But he left us with a gift and we'd like to pay that gift forward and share the lessons that we learn from a life well lived. So I think the big one for me was just that, that he lived fast and he was like 70 years old. Racing. His motorcycle. Drag racing.

Drag racing his

Hayabusa. He rode Harley's day to day, and his Harley was made built for speed.

Like he had it rigged so that it could go faster than it normally could.

He had four motorcycles, but his favorite Harley, I learned later that he had something done to the computer of it to make it faster than it was supposed to be. But that's not even the one he raced.

He had a Hayabusa that he was very, very proud was the fastest bike in Prince Edward Island.

And he would drag race that thing. And he kept

All the receipts,

all the slips for the times that he had. He had a stack of them in his bedroom of all of his winning drag races. And so into his seventies he raced motorcycles. So one of the lessons that I learned from Bobby was you're only as old as you feel. I would say you wouldn't have been able to tell that he was in his seventies, like talking to him, how he acted, how he lived his life. It was amazing You're only as old as you feel. He was in great shape. He was like active. He was still going out

and

socializing and partying.

Yeah. And racing motorcycles. So that was one of the bigger lessons I learned is that you're only as old as you feel.

And he also lived on his terms. Oh yeah. He lived life his way. Unapologetically himself, like he wasn't changing for anyone. He would say what was on his mind.

He had no filter.

Yeah,

but usually for better

or worse was

one of the stories we heard when people came through the wake was he, they went for coffee, him and him and a buddy went for coffee and the buddy got a donut for breakfast and dad took it and threw it out the window of the truck,

slapped it out of his hand.

It's like, you can't be eating that.

Yeah. And most people would find that fairly offensive, but this guy took it as he cares about me, came from a place of love. And , I think. He was unapologetically himself. He said what was on his mind. He had no filter, but most people took it the way he intended it, which was coming from a place of caring and love.

Well, it's because he always was there as a person to give you the shirt off his back., he was very clearly someone who He was looking out for you, like he, he cared. And so even though the messaging was maybe a little sharp and a little gruff, the love behind it was felt,

and he would kick the shirt off his back.

You just had to be okay with it being a Harley t shirt because for better or worse, and mostly it's our fault, but that's all he ever wore. Yeah. We gave him

a lot of Harley t shirts whenever we travel across states. the globe. We'd find a Harley store and get them a shirt from same

with my sisters. So like the man had a hundred Harley t shirts if he had one.

The other thing that I remember about Bobby was every time I'd see him, I'd ask him, so how are things, how's it going? And he'd always, always, always be positive. No matter what was going on, he would always say, Oh, Can't complain or Oh, fantastic. Oh, so good. Like, you know, like he was always such a positive spirit. And let's be honest, there were times when, you know, life was maybe kicking them.

He didn't have a lot to positive about some days, but he still would find it.

Every single time. I never heard him complain. Oh, you know, whatever, you know, life's life's kicking me today. It was always, Oh, it's a sunny day.

Can't get any better than this. Like there are many times where you would think like, huh, even today, positive on a day like today, he's out in the rain doing his thing and it's miserable. It's cold or whatever. And he's

working outside and

he's still like, Oh, who's got it better than us.

He's, he said it to his sister on one of his last days.

Like we had a really good life, didn't we?

. Yeah. So super positive. Like always something to be grateful for. I think he always just was grateful for, for life in general.

He also lived for today. He was shaped by his past for sure. , he lived through some shit.

So he was shaped by that. But he didn't live there. Yeah. And he didn't spend a lot of time for better or worse thinking about the future. Consequences were not something he spent a lot of time thinking about. He acted in the moment. He lived for today. He acted in the way that would make him feel good right now. He lived for today for better or worse.

He was a shoot first, Like he was like your first aim later kind of character.

Yeah, very much. I say for better or worse because sometimes it wasn't always for better, but I think mostly it was for better. I think that also helped him always see the positive and living in the moment allows you to experience happiness and joy.

And I think he did that.

Yeah. Of the, one of the funniest memories I have with Bobby is a first time I met him. And we were meeting him for lunch and he rolls up on his Harley fast, pulls in and rips off his helmet, rips off his t shirt, ripped off his boots, and comes in for the most aggressive handshake I've ever experienced in my life.

I thought he was going to tear my arm off. But the one thing I remember is that he also loved that I, I gave it right back to him. I squeezed it hard back. And he just, I don't know if it was a test or what was going on there, but I found it hilarious. And so one of the biggest lessons I learned was be prepared and always have a firm handshake.

He used to arm wrestle all of her boyfriends. So he moved on to the handshake, I think.

It was great. . Firm handshake always.

I think he also always looked at life as an adventure.

You did, yeah. And I think that's where you get it.

I know I also love that he did what he enjoyed right up to the end, right? , he wasn't sick for a long time. , it happened suddenly. So, two weeks or so before he died, he was on his motorcycle. He was on the excavator, digging in the dirt. Things he loved to do. He did them right up to the end.

Yeah. And he always, and we talked about it earlier, he went dancing and he, he always had time for family. He like every family dinner and function. He was always there. His neighborhood block party or whatever. He'd show up for that and be the center of attention, be the life of the party.

He always made time for the things that mattered to him. So. Riding his motorcycle, going to the beach on a sunny day with his significant other just all of the things that meant the most to him in the world, he made time for, which I think is something that we can all do a little better.

We can all learn from that. Life gets in the way sometimes and we lose our perspective on what's important. And I don't think Bobby ever did. I think he always knew what was important to him and he always made time for it.

Yeah. I think all of these, but especially that one is a lesson that we can all take and try to do a little more of in our lives.

And then I think one other one that comes to mind for Bobby it became clearer after he passed and you hear some stories from everybody who knew him coming through and offering their condolences and everything. But he touched so many different lives in so many different ways.

Like it's crazy how many people he helped and we had no idea that behind the scenes he was doing all this stuff. Help people, but It became really clear when we were in the at the wake and things and people were like, oh, yeah I remember bobby came and you know He used to plow my driveway after my husband died.

He used to come and plow my driveway every time it snowed and all that type of stuff and so

People you didn't even know you never heard of like strangers basically that he would take care of

looking out for somebody else.

Yeah,

he had a big heart

Which

is also showing up. We're getting that back a little bit.

As we go through and deal with, you know, all the things you have to deal with after someone passes, right? Like, all the equipment in his shop yard. People are willing to help us deal with this stuff because Dad was always so willing to help them.

Yeah. So you get

it back.

You do. It's good. It's not why you did it, though.

No. You would just do it just for the sake of being a good person. Just make the world a better place. Leave it better than you found it. I think Bobby did that. He left it better than he found it, for sure.

I think that's the big takeaway, actually. Yeah. Whew. So it was an emotional episode. It was.

Yeah.

Yeah. Leave the wood pile bigger than you found it. Bobby definitely did that. Any last thoughts?

No, just my last question. We took some big lessons from Dad's life. , what's one thing you were going to take from this episode and do differently in your life? Pick the one thing and then just do it.

Do it because you never know You know, we had ten days with dad Eight days knowing that he was gonna pass Which is enough time to say goodbye, but not enough time for him to really suffer so I'm really grateful But the other big lesson I guess is you just don't know he didn't know and so Do the things make the decisions take the actions live your life because you just don't know.

Yeah. Take some lessons from a life well lived Bobby was a, was an unbelievably great example for us all. So take some lessons from a life well lived and carry forward. Rest in peace, Bobby.