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 Welcome back another episode of The Road in Life podcast with Meredith and Craig. I am stoked about this episode and I think we're gonna ruffle a few feathers with this episode. This is an interesting episode. Yeah, this is based on recent, recent experience. Yeah, recent experience for us,

so. Set the stage.

What are we talking about, McKay? Let's get it going. Well, we're talking about at the end of the day, what we always talk about is that we're a team. We're a team. Team first. Marriage is a team sport always, but we're talking about a really specific angle on this

set. The stage McKay,

we are historically very competitive.

People

can confirm,

do you remember when we were working in Calgary and we used to always park at that parkade across. Street and we'd go up the stairs across the walkway, the skyway thing, down the stairs, and we would every morning on our way to work, race. Race to the bottom of the stairs.

Yeah.

Dangerous as hell too. Super. But yeah, I do always, you would always win.

Most of time. Most of the time. Yeah.

Your legs move faster than mine.

I'm very fast downstairs. Yeah, you're very quick. Yeah. But we were super competitive early days. Like I've got a reputation among my friends. I'm super competitive.

Can confirm

you're also competitive.

I'm very competitive.

We're like, we're both, we come

from competitive stock. My dad is , one of the most competitive people I know he'll compete with. Anything. Your dad is super competitive. Who can peel this orange the fastest?

Who? Who's the strongest handshake? Who like literally anything. Yeah.

Yeah. True. And there's probably lots of stories you could tell about competing against your dad until.

Until I was, until, until you beat him. Until, until you beat him. And then he doesn't wanna do it anymore. He doesn't wanna play anymore.

No.

So we are both super competitive people and we come from very competitive people and , we enjoy competition. It's part of the reason we love sports. Mm-hmm. We love competing and we love competition. However, we've recently learned that our approach to competing is weird. We were playing board games, different games with some friends.

And we have taken the approach in our relationship and in our life that we are on the same team. And so we were playing a board game as individuals with a group of people. And in the end, we were still on the same team. We worked together, we made trades, we did what we had to do within the bounds of the rules, and I won the game.

I think it's a huge opportunity for lessons learned here, because not everyone around that table felt the same way. I. There was a very individualistic approach to the game. Mm-hmm. Even though there were other people in that game that had relationship like we do. Mm-hmm. Like a, like mm-hmm. Partner at the table.

They did not play as a team and they did not win. And they tried and they really wanted to win.

They really did wanna win, and most of them tried to.

Dissuade us from participating or being teammates.

Correct.

They tried to pit us against each other. Correct. And could not do it.

Nope. And then we followed up, played another game, another time.

, completely different game with a whole bunch more people. And

same outcome

still.

They still tried to mess us up and you still won

and, we took a lot of heat. We

did take a lot of heat. We took a

lot of heat from people that night about,

that's not how this game's supposed to be played. Oh, we didn't cheat.

You guys were on the same you guys. We didn't cheat. Oh, you guys were always on each other's team. Like it was a bad thing. Yeah. Right. Like we took a, lot of heat that night.

My, my take on it is practice. Like it's the game. Yeah. Like this isn't a big deal, but we're always on the same team. Mm-hmm.

Like literally always. And you're never gonna get us off of that. And it's that mindset, I think that makes our relationship so strong that when the time comes where we really do need to be a team mm-hmm. It's second nature. Right. We can build the muscle mamba mentality. We, I was just gonna

say that.

, we've been practicing Yeah.

For the game. Yeah. The entire time. So when the game happens, when the big playoff moment happens, it's second nature. Right. We're just a team. Yeah. And we conquer. So the fact that we're playing this stupid game. In the grand scheme of things, it does not matter. Nope. That we won or lost. But the fact that we played it like a team, it just is another rep for when the real thing happens.

Mm-hmm. That we're going to play as a team. Right. And when you play as a team, you're more likely to win as evidenced by both of those games. It's true. We won. You won 'em both. I did. But that just reinforces the fact that when we play on a team, we win. Yeah. . And it also happened years ago at a crib tournament.

Oh, that's right. And we randomly selected our partners and I, luckily had the first pick. Luckily, luckily I had the first pick and I picked you.

Yeah.

And they all gave me grief. Yeah. They all were like, come on, you can't pick your wife. Because everyone else at that table, it was all married couples.

Mm-hmm. And everyone else was paired off differently. They weren't with their spouse. But you and I were with each other. Correct. And we won that tournament too.

Sure did,

It was a practice round that we played, like it was a game. Yeah.

And so what we're

talking about

is that we do lifelike teammates in everything that we do.

And that means we have the same goals. We support each other, we cheer each other on, we lift each other up, we always have each other's back. And it's not about keeping score against each other. When one of us wins, we both win. And that is the attitude and the approach we take in all areas of life, even when it's not important because the way you do one thing is the way you do everything.

Everything

and everything is important. It's all the little things add up to the big things. Yeah, we say it time and time again.

You don't get to just put the teammate jersey on in your marriage when it's convenient for you. If you're putting it on, that means you're taking it off. If you're putting it on, taking it off, putting it on, taking it off, that means some days sometimes you're not teammates, and in your marriage, you have to be teammates all the time.

When one wins, you both win even in a stupid card game.

Even in a stupid board game when then they're trying to pit you against each other. Yeah. But she has something you, you wanna stab her in the back. It's like there's no chance that's happening. So stop right there.

And it's interesting even because we're in an Airbnb and the Airbnb has Yi, and so we've been playing the little ysi here and there, like on a date night, something different to do, just to spend some quality time.

And it's just the two of us. So literally you are playing against me. I'm playing against you. There's no one else playing. Someone has to win. However, when it's your turn to roll the dice and you're trying to get something, I do find myself rooting for you to get the dice that you need. Right?

Yeah. I want you to get ysi on every roll.

Yeah. You're not going to, of course not, but I'm, I'm rooting for it. And when you need the for free fives for whatever it is, I'm rooting for you to get that a hundred percent. Because at the end of the day, the stupid game does not matter. It's really just about having a little fun and connecting mm-hmm.

In the moment. That's what it matters. Mm-hmm. The outcome of the game does not, but the outcome of us being teammates and rooting for each other will always matter. Mm-hmm. We will always make a difference towards when the real game happens, which is gonna happen in life. When the chips are down and the things happen and you now have to become a team and get through this challenge, that's when it's gonna matter.

Yeah. It's like professional athletes, right? Like they don't just show up, like Tom Brady didn't just show up for the Super Bowl. Tom Brady works out, eats properly. Practices stretches. . He lives every day. Like it's the Super Bowl.

Mm-hmm.

Kobe Bryant, like he might've just won the championship last night.

He's in the gym the next morning. Mm-hmm. Like those guys live life the same way every day. They're practicing every day. Like it's the championship game. Mm-hmm. Professional athletes, you know. Usain Bolt runs for nine some odd seconds once every four years. Used to, used

to.

And so he didn't just show up

on race days, on race every four years on race day, every four

years ready to run for 10 seconds or less, much less.

He had to put in the work every single day to build the muscles so that he could show up on race days. What's exactly what you're saying is we treat our marriage like we're professional athletes. We don't know when the championship is gonna come. We don't know when the big obstacle is gonna come barreling down the highway at us, but we know that we're gonna be ready for it because we treat every day like it's game day.

Not enough people treat their marriage like their professional like, you wanna be a professional spouse. Yeah. You wanna be a professional husband, you wanna be a professional wife. And to do that, you have to show up every day giving your best. Not just in the important shiny big moments mm-hmm.

That the games. Mm-hmm. You have to show up every day. Practice like it's a game. Mm-hmm. And that was one thing that, at that table that most of them did not understand that

, it's like Greg and Kayla say, it's weird that It's weird.

Yeah. It's weird that it's weird.

Okay. I think we've made the case that, well, we've been making it for most podcast episodes since we started this, that your marriage is a team, you are teammates before everything else.

The team, the team, the team.

The team. The team, the team. And so I think in this particular episode, we've made the case that It's not the team. When it's convenient, it's the team always. So how do you build that muscle to be a great team, to be a great teammate all the time.

When you win, I win.

You have to adopt the mindset of we're in this together. If you win, I win. It doesn't matter if , you're doing an individual goal. I'm your biggest cheerleader. I'm there. When you win, I win. Mm-hmm. If we're playing a game, as we've just talked about, mm-hmm. When you win, I win.

Yeah.

I was pumped.

Yeah, for sure. , I was like, ha suckers. You tried to get us ga against each other and she beat all your asses.

Yeah. And

I helped her.

And because you helped me. Now we're even seen as we won together. Yeah. So when you win, I win a hundred percent.

Look, I wasn't gonna win that game, but I hitched my wagon to someone who was gonna win it.

But I think a hundred percent we win. We win. Always.

and Greg, you know, talks about this too, is you take a me to a we Yeah. You go from me to we

as fast as you possibly can. As

fast as you possibly can. And there's no faster way than getting married. You are now a we Yeah. You're now a we totally.

You went from a me, you go through life. It's me, me, me, me, me. You get married. Nope. It's we, wee wee, wee, wee. Mm-hmm. Very much. A hundred percent.

Next you're north star. You gotta

remember the goal,

, the fastest way to get on the same team besides. Signing your marriage license, I guess, is aligning on your goals.

To be clear, signing a marriage license does not give you the, just the mindset. You have to still do the work to get to the we. A

hundred percent.

Yeah. Yeah. If it were as easy as signing a, a marriage license, we'd have a lot of teams that were thriving and there's a

lot of teams out there that are not correct.

The North Star, , what really puts you on the same team is not getting married. Having the same goals. It's aligning on your shared vision of the future , that north star that you're both driving for, that you're rolling the same direction. It's fuel.

You need

that.

Yeah.

That's what puts you on the same team.

We talked about it every day. Practice, like it's the game. Mm-hmm. , the small moments. , if you're a team in the small moments and you practice in those small moments. Be ready for those big moments. Mm-hmm. You have to treat all of those moments, like they're going to be the big moments. Like you don't take a day off.

Kobe Bryant doesn't take a day off, Michael Jordan doesn't take a day off. You don't take a day off from your marriage. Mm-hmm. You're a professional spouse.

You don't take a day off from being teammates with your spouse. Exactly. So you check in, you align, you get on the same page, , you check in on how you wanna deal with the kids thing.

You make sure you're on the same page or what's coming up for the weekend like. You are a team, we are playing a board game. You're on the same team even when you're just the two of you playing.

And that dovetails into hold yourself to that standard, be the mamba mentality, be the Michael Jordan of marriage, be the that person that every moment is a moment where I have an opportunity to, hi, hold my standard or fall below my standard.

What am I gonna do in those moments? Because it's those moments that matter. You either have standards or you don't Exactly. But then you have to also celebrate.

Yes. As a

team.

That's the

biggest one. When teams win, what do they do? They celebrate, they hoist that cup. I mean, they drink out of the cup. ,

I love the hoist, the

trophy,

the, the shot of the dressing room after the championship.

But they're all in like the ski goggles, goggles, and the, plastic is everywhere in the champagne is like, yeah. , they don't miss a chance to celebrate when they win.

They're throwing trophies off the back of boats. , they're not

recommended.

This is Tom Brady. They're celebrating.

Yeah.

They're celebrate and there's parades and there's, dancing. They're in the bar, I don't recommend, but they're celebrating.

, they celebrate as a team

a hundred percent.

And I think that's an important regular practice. Like we're we jokingly talking about like, when you win the championship, you celebrate, but you also celebrate every game and every practice and you have to celebrate all the small wins so that you also get to the big wins.

Yeah. It builds momentum. Mm-hmm. All right. So when you do all those things, when you celebrate, when you show up as teammates, you hold the standard, you're a professional spouse. What does that do for you? You win

and that's all that matters.

Deep trust. We build trust when we show up for each other, , we build trust, better communication. It's like all the things that come up for people when they say, my relationship's struggling. Mm-hmm. Those all improve. Communication, the intimacy, the trust, all the connection, all the things those improve.

Yeah. When you show up every day and you are that professional spouse and you practice, like, it's the game every day, all of that stuff goes away. . , really not that hard when you think about it and it's really not that complicated. Mm-hmm. But it's really, really simple.

But it can be hard to execute. It's not easy to show up every day as your mamba mentality. Mm-hmm. Being the spouse, practicing every day like it's a game, doing all the things every single day. But that's literally the difference between having connection, trust, communication and intimacy all humming along.

Mm-hmm. In your relationship. It's really just showing up as your best self every day.

Mm-hmm. And it goes back to a episode we recorded a little, little while back now, but choose your heart. Like it's not easy to show up like this every day, to be teammates, every day to take that we first approach like we win together.

It's not easy. No. But neither is being disconnected. Neither is feeling at odds with each other. Neither is feeling the friction and feeling like you're roaming in different directions and pulling each other further apart. And like a bunch of us have talked about this a lot lately. Um, and it was in Elena Cardone's book, but she talks about Clydesdale's Clydesdale horses.

One Clydesdale horse can pull 8,000 pounds, two Clydesdale horses can pull 32,000 pounds. So

exponential.

, it's exponential when you work together. So yeah, it's a little harder on the upfront piece, but it's much easier on the back end as opposed to two Clydesdales going in opposite directions.

Can't pull anything.

Yeah.

So choose your hard,

choose your hard and say it time and time again. Be teammates. Simple as that. Practice every day, like it's game day. Show up for your spouse even when it seems like it doesn't matter. Even in the moments where people are like, yeah, but this is a game where you're supposed to be against each other, not for us, not for you.

You show up and you practice like it's the game. So that when the game actually really happens in real life, it's second nature. There's no thinking about it. It's just reps. It just takes over instinct and you just show up.

Mm-hmm.

And you conquer whatever it is that's in front of you and you, you win. And a team, the team, the team, the team,

all right?

So share this with your friends who are very competitive. Share it with your spouse, share it with your business partner. Share it with all your people because you need to get on the same page and play as a team. And we love you more, and we'll see you next week. .

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And as always, thank you so much for being a part of our journey on The Road of life. And remember, you've got this, and we're here to help you every step of the way. So we'll see you next week. Bye for now.