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Episode Transcription

 Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back to another episode of Road of life Podcast with Meredith and Craig. Have a great intro. Thank you.

I'm excited about this episode today. Yeah, super excited about it.

Big episode. I've been waiting in anticipation for this one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Should we keep them in anticipation any longer?

No. No. Tell 'em

we are talking about a really. Simple way to feel more connected to your partner, more attracted to your partner, a stronger bond. All the good things, and it's really simple.

Drum roll please. Drum

roll. It's exercising together. Whew.

Yeah, this is a cool one. Bonus you get to see your spouse in yoga pants.

Ah. Anyway, that's my favorite part of it.

Totally. I love when you wear yoga pants.

Me too.

So , I feel like half listeners went. Yeah. Okay, cool. And half listeners went, Ugh.

Oh, I'm out hard on this one.

Before you skip the episode or before you turn it off,

where did we lose you yoga pants on me. I don't blame you.

I think it was the on exercising on the exercise. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's such a great multitask.

Well, for the most part, multitasking sucks. But this is a good multitask.

Well, if you think about it, like we're always trying to find time to spend with people and we're also trying to find time to stay healthy, and we're also trying to find time to do all the things , but what better way than going and working out then to work on your body, work on your relationship.

Mm-hmm. Work on your goals. Spend quality time

together, it's,

it's win, win, win. It is. It's, and you get to see your spouse in yoga pants. Did I mention it?

It's a win win, win win.

Exactly.

And so the beauty of working out together is. We'll talk about all the science and the research and the chemicals and all the things that happen, but like big picture, the beauty of working out together is you build trust together.

Teamwork. You build teamwork. And like, I don't know if we said it once, we said it a bazillion times, team first, like a solid marriage team. First team.

The team.

The team, right? So this working out together builds teamwork and shared goals.

Yeah.

So just big picture, it's moving you in the right direction, but let's.

Get into like the details of it, like the science of it, , the, how it actually works.

So , before we go into the science, I think we need, oh

darn. I love the science, but we'll hold for a sec.

, I think it's just really, really important to understand what it is that you're doing when you're working out with your partner, like.

You are creating memories, you're doing things together, having shared experiences is creating memories. And at the end of it all, when you're at the end of your life, it's the shared experiences and the memories that you're going to be holding onto.

Yeah.

You know, it's the time where we train for that marathon together.

You don't have to train for a marathon together, by the way. It's just an example, but. The time we trained for a marathon together, we had that experience together. Mm-hmm. And we have some stories and we have some bonding that has gone on because of that. Mm-hmm. And it's really cool. Mm-hmm. But to your point, you said it's building teamwork.

You get to watch the other person grow and you get to spot them and literally to support them and literally see them go from lifting. 10 pounds one day to 12. Mm-hmm. A couple days later or a week later to 50, you, you get to watch them grow mm-hmm. And become the best version of themselves. Mm-hmm. How cool is that?

I think one of the,, like we talk, you talk about it in terms of weights, but one of the ways I really liked to see it for us was when we were doing orange theory a lot of the time, and, you know, your base pace goes up. Like when we first started doing it, we were running at, you know, five, five and a half, six, and then six and a half, seven, seven and a half, like.

Watching how fast our, like, very base running pace would go up over time. Mm-hmm. It was really cool to get to watch your speed increase as we kept at it. Mm-hmm. And see those gains in your like cardiovascular fitness.

Yeah. It's funny because you start out and you start out at a four mm-hmm.

And it feels like you are running a absolute sprint. And then at some point. Months later, you're running at at a six 11. A six,

yeah. Yeah. 11. You were, yeah. And that is a sprint.

Yeah. Yeah.

I think at one point your sprint topped out the treadmill fast as you could go. It

did, yeah. And so I'm comparing, I'm comparing apples to oranges here.

Totally. But if you compare apples to apples, the four became, I think an eight and a half,

right? So like huge gains. And so it's. Cool to watch your teammate.

Mm-hmm.

, See those improvements? Yeah.

A hundred percent. So

that's how it builds teamwork.

Yeah.

It also increases attraction. Yeah. This is my segue into science.

'cause like

you gotta get there. Gotta get there. You're itching.

Yeah. But the physical activity releases endorphins.

Mm-hmm.

And the endorphins boost your mood and your feelings of attraction.

And you get to see your spouse in yoga pants.

And so I love. For us, like talking about examples of how we do this just gonna blow right by the yoga pants every time.

Yeah. I love for us, you know, you talked about training for a marathon. You trained for a marathon? Yeah. I trained for a half marathon

fair.

We run at different paces. We were running different distances, but we were, doing it together from the sense of each, we set our goals together. We were both running and we were running at the same time.

Not side by side. So we were on similar routes at different paces. And so the cool part is because we were running similar routes around the same area of town, we would run by each other sometimes on our, like at least once a day, usually on our route, sometimes multiple times a day. And so it was fun to run by and high five or run by and fist bump or run by and have a little ass tap on the way by

that was fun. Even though we weren't running together, even though we , didn't have the same goal, even though we weren't doing the same thing. Mm-hmm. We were still creating that shared experience, building those memories, having those bonding endorphins release as we ran by each other, .

Mm-hmm.

That was, it was fun. It was, it was fun. And it built our connection.

Mm-hmm. A hundred percent. So get to the science. Okay. I know you're dying too. The science. Just come on. What, what's the science? Science, so we talked about the

endorphins. Endorphins bring stress down. They improve your mood and they build attraction.

So that's usually why you think people are hotter at the gym than they are in real life. 'cause you know, you're working out, your endorphins are falling. No,

, I'm equally attracted to you at the gym as I am right here, right now.

, It creates that shared positive experience together, building feelings of attraction.

So that's cool. It's actually,

the chemicals that get released when you're working out the endorphins, the oxytocin, the adrenaline, same chemicals that get released in your brain when you're falling in love. So it's a kind of a cool way to like reinforce the connection with your partner.

Yeah, and, and I think that's, very important to reiterate.

If you are struggling in your relationship, the, connection, the attraction is missing. A really great way to start to build that back is working out together because the exact same chemicals, it's science, the exact same chemicals that are released when you get attracted to someone, happen when you work out with them.

Mm-hmm. So it really does allow you to reconnect on that level. Bring back that at attraction that maybe has been lost with time and neglecting the, gym and the health and getting disconnected.

It can bring back, it's like hacking your brain chemistry, like you're hacking your brain chemistry through exercise to bring back the connection, the love, the bonding that you're want to be feeling with your partner.

Mm-hmm. And so we talked about the endorphins and we briefly mentioned adrenaline,

oxytocin,

adrenaline increases your heart rate.

One of the main ones that, mimics that feeling of attraction, increases your breathing rate, increases your heart rate, like, makes you feel a little bit excited. That's what kind of make mimics that, attraction. And then the oxytocin, that's like the bonding chemical, the like makes you happy hormone, the happy hormone that gets released when you exercise too.

It's also the same chemical that gets released when you hug for 20 seconds. That's why we always say that, but it helps. Feel more connected that particular chemical helps you feel more connected to the other person.

Mm-hmm.

So there's some other benefits when you're working out. Obviously we talked about the teamwork and watching your spouse grow as a human in their physical goals and coming more attracted. But there's also this sense of shared accountability like. There were days where I didn't want to go for a run and I would see you putting on your shoes or getting ready for the run. I was like, I guess we're doing this today. And there's that a built in accountability that it's like. It's raining outside, but you gotta get this done if you want to be able to run in two months mm-hmm.

On the day you gotta get out there today. Yeah. And having you lead the way sometimes was beneficial for me. It helped me achieve my goal. Mm-hmm.

Ditto. Yeah. And so, a hundred percent , that goes to the, physical health benefits and the supporting each other, the teamwork.

And if you're going to the gym.

You don't wanna be the person that lets the other person down. Now, they no longer have a spotter or someone to do the thing with because you, or in your case,

I'm gonna tell you what to do. Yeah. Because you just

didn't get outta bed. Yeah. . You don't wanna let someone down. No. So there's a built in accountability and it, which

is good practice for your relationship too.

So it not only has the benefit of strengthening your relationship, it also has a benefit of really making sure that you get the most out of it for your own physical health. Mm-hmm. Because you're gonna go more often, you're gonna show up for the other person, and by doing that, you're showing up for yourself.

Mm-hmm. Because we, all have this. Innate ability to not show up for ourselves as often as we wanna show up for another human.

We're way more willing to let ourselves down than somebody else. Down a hundred

percent,

for

sure. Yeah.

And the, research shows that couples who work out together are more connected, they have better communication, and they stay together longer.

There's just a higher level of relationship satisfaction mm-hmm. When you work out together. Mm-hmm. It's like I have seen no. Losses yet No downside. There's no downside to this yet. No. Other than working out. For some people,

working out can be a downside. For some people but the act of doing it together, zero downside.

There's

no downside.

So if we've made the case that

co-op, we have not, if we have, we've made the case. How do you start? You just start. You just go. You just. One sneaker at a time. Mm-hmm. Put your shoes on and go to the gym. And it doesn't have to be seven days a week for an hour or two, three hours at a time.

Put your shoes on, go for a walk together, go to the gym for half an hour, just start. Mm-hmm. And we make it more in our heads than it actually is. , The buildup . It's fine. Find a, Planet Fitness where there's, you know, the critics, that's their whole thing is that there, it's not judgment free zone.

It's judgment free zone. Find a place that you're comfortable with if you're just getting back into fitness and it, , you kind of, there's a bit of an issue there. Go for a walk around your neighborhood. Mm-hmm. Just find something small that you can just start and do it.

Yeah. Set a goal together and make a plan.

Once a week, twice a week, three times a week, half an hour, whatever it is a plan. Make the time, put it in your calendar. Both of you put it in your calendar. And then respect the calendar.

Yeah. And finding something that you both enjoy, you'll both do is is part of that planning. Mm-hmm. Right. Have that conversation.

But everybody can walk every, everybody should get out for a walk anyway. Mm-hmm. So start there. , If nothing else, if you're having a hard time figuring out, mm-hmm. Oh, I wanna do golf, I wanna do tennis, I wanna go to the gym, I wanna go for a run, a swim, whatever it is. Mm-hmm. You can both settle on walking at the very least.

And then on your walks, they're a great way to. To brainstorm and think of ways that you're gonna continue to do advance the exercise goals.

Plus you can try new things that each of you want to try. It's a good way to to, to totally introduce some adventure and exploration into your relationship. If one of you wants to go for some and one of you wants to go for tennis , there's gonna be some compromise, like it's a relat, it's a great compromise exercise.

Yeah. You're in a relationship. That compromise is definitely required. Mm-hmm. So get comfortable with that now. Mm-hmm. Go for a swim. Then do the thing that they wanna do. Go for a round of golf, whatever it is,

treat the exercise dates, like dates.

Mm-hmm.

Because this is quality time that you're getting to spend together.

So treat it like a date.

Yeah. And , I like the idea of finding a shared goal, like some sort of event, like for us it was the marathon, the half marathon mm-hmm. That we had mm-hmm. On the horizon that we were working towards. Mm-hmm. So maybe you're going on a vacation, so you both wanna lose.

10 pounds or something. Mm-hmm. So 10 pounds in three months, go do that together. Mm-hmm. Or you wanna do a 5K, you've always wanted to do a 5K. You can convince your partner to do a 5K mm-hmm. In a couple months, whatever. Find a shared goal to then both be striving towards, and it doesn't have to be the exact same goal.

Agreed. Like, I could

be losing 50 pounds, you could be losing five, or you could be running

a marathon. I could, you're running a half. Exactly. Mm-hmm.

But just find a goal that you can kind of both work towards together.

And if you're at different fitness levels, that's okay too. Like we said when we were running, you run faster than me.

You're taller than me. Your legs are longer than me. You're stronger than me. You run faster than me. We still would go for a run together. We put our shoes on together. We'd high five at the beginning. We would go on our run. We would see each other throughout the run. We would finish the run stretch together.

Like we weren't running Step stop for Step. Yeah. But we were doing it together. And so even if you're at different fitness levels. You can find things to do together for exercise, set the shared goals and show up for each other.

And if you're not into running, you can go to the gym and do like circuit training and mm-hmm.

Even though you're lifting heavier or lifting more or going at a faster pace, you're still standing shoulder to shoulder, looking in the same mirror, doing the same things. You can still occasionally fist bump each other between exercises and do all the things, even though you are way at different fitness levels.

Mm-hmm. So there are definitely ways to get creative to do exercise together, even if you're on different spectrums.

And just to summarize it, all exercising together is gonna give you a stronger emotional connection. Improved communication, increased attraction, more fun, more laughter, more adventure.

You get to live longer and do things long for a longer period of time.

Healthy throughout life. Together, and if you have kids, it is setting such a good mm-hmm. Example for them. Mm-hmm. In prioritizing their health and also relationships. Mm-hmm. So there's literally no downside. So get to step in,

get to step in, find a time together, put it in the calendar, set your goals, follow through, show up for each other, and then just reap the benefits of your health and your attraction.

Don't forget

yoga pants. Yoga pants. So share this episode with your spouse. Share this episode with your friend, your sister, your mother, your brother, anybody who would benefit, which is basically everybody

who do you know that can't benefit from more exercise and better relationships. Nobody, zero people.

It's a

very overlapping Venn diagram.

Zero people. So share it.

We love you, love you more. Have a wonderful day. See you next

week.

Before we wrap up, we just want to remind you about something really special we've created. The Infinite Relationship Mastermind. It's like a VIP backstage pass for anyone looking to level up any and all of their relationships in their life. And we're not just talking about the relationship with your spouse.

Though it does include that one. We're also talking about the relationships with yourself, your friends, your business partners, your family, all the important people in your life. This mastermind is for anyone ready to take all of their relationships to a whole new level. Whether you're thriving and you want to thrive even more, or you're feeling a little stuck and need some extra love and support.

We host exclusive live courses. We create a safe, no judgment space where members can just open up and honestly just have a ton of fun connecting with other amazing people who are, building stronger, relationships. And to be honest, the transformations we've seen are incredible and it's exactly why we do what we do.

It fills our heart like nothing else. Now, we are super protective of this community because it is all about trust, love and support. So it's not for everybody, but if this does sound like it might tickle your fancy, then check out the link in the show notes and reach out to us if you have any questions, we'd love to chat and see if it's a fit for you.

And as always, thank you so much for being a part of our journey on The Road of life. And remember, you've got this, and we're here to help you every step of the way. So we'll see you next week. Bye for now.