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 Welcome back to another episode of The Road to Life podcast with Meredith and Craig. This week we've got a cool episode, masculine and feminine. Mm-hmm. Not sex energy.

Correct. We're not talking about gender and gender roles and all that stuff. We're talking about the energy from each of those. And this came up because, , I was on a call with a bunch of ladies.

We had a ladies call. We'd have it once a week and. This came up and everyone was pretty confused and we didn't really know how to use it or deploy it. So we've dug into it and we wanna talk a little bit more about masculine and feminine energy, how it impacts your relationship, what they both are, what the difference in them is, and how you deploy them to.

Maximize peace and

because all of us have both correct. Whether you're a man or a woman, if you're a man, you do have feminine energy. Mm-hmm. If you're a woman, you do have male masculine energy. Correct. So it's about deploying them in different places. Yep. And understanding when's best to do that.

Yeah.

It's about the qualities and the dynamics that come like zero to do with gender. We're talking nothing to do with gender. Just to be super clear.

And the point of this is that it can deeper your connection if you're able to move through the two energies. Mm-hmm. Deploy them in different places where it makes sense in your relationship because there are times where as a man you're gonna have to deploy feminine energy.

Yeah. For sure. And sure. Be there empathetic and you know, compassionate. Mm-hmm. And all those things. Mm-hmm. It just benefits you in your relationship to be able to tap into that energy. Yeah. So that's the

create the balance and the peace in your relationship. Exactly. So what are they? Well, masculine energy is about structure and decision making and direction and doing things.

It's the energy of taking action. It's

assertiveness people. People think of masculine energy as aggressive. It's more assertive. Yeah. It's goal oriented. It's. Process driven. It's

solving problems. It's stability.

Yeah.

It's focused, it's logical. Assertive. Yeah. Yeah. All those things.

Yeah. And as a man, this is my default.

Mm-hmm. these are the things like structure, direction, mm-hmm. Planning. logic. Yeah. Those are my, default.

Those are a lot of my defaults too. But where it really jumps out for me. Is for the problem solving. Like, and you hear this a lot everywhere, is I just want you to hear me sometimes like I just want to tell you what's going on and have you smile and nod and understand and me feel heard and you wanna jump in and solve my problem.

'cause that's your masculine energy. A hundred

percent. There's a problem here. Yeah. It needs to be solved.

Yeah.

Let me put on my cape.

Yeah, exactly. That's your masculine energy. Like, woo to the moon, let's deal this.

Yeah,

and it's interesting because. Men generally by and large, your default is you want me to be happy.

Correct. And so therefore you wanna solve all my problems. Correct. And my default is, I just wanna be heard. Can you just see me? Yeah. IJI just want you to see me and hear me and get me. And so that's sometimes where we get a little bit of misalignment.

For sure. And feminine energy is more about flow, intuition.

Mm-hmm. Just. Going with the flow being Yeah.

The being rather than the doing.

Yeah. Creativity.

Yes. The energy of creativity, nurturing, empathy, compassion. Yeah. Support , deeper connection to emotion. That's all feminine energy.

Yeah.

And so when you're, let's say, trying to plan your week meal planning or setting your goals for the week or the big action items , , you're in your masculine energy, , whichever one of us is doing that, and generally we do that together.

We are both in masculine energy when we're trying to figure out the structure of the week, what are the to-dos, what are we going to eat for the week? What are, you know, all those decisions and that structure, that's the masculine energy.

But the feminine energy is when you are sharing your feelings, feeling really creative trusting your intuition, letting that guide you. That's when you're tapping into your feminine energy when you're. Really locked into the present moment and feeling what's going on and being grateful for it. That's in your feminine energy.

And so to your point, both energies exist in everybody. Mm-hmm. And we deploy them both all the time. It's just getting really good at when to deploy one and when to like ease back on that one and deploy the other.

Because as a man, there's gonna be opportunities and situations where to your point, you have a problem.

It's not to be solved in this very moment, although it's so tempting to do so. Problem, I can problem solve. That's my masculine energy. I wanna do that. But it's really just more, oh, that sucks. I'm sorry. You're going through that and tapping into your feminine energy and just giving me a hug.

Giving you support. Mm-hmm. Hearing me,

seeing me, hugging me. Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Listen up, gentlemen. This will help be helpful.

Yeah. So. I like the example that I read somewhere that masculine energy is like the container. It's like the river banks, the creating the direction and the structure. And then feminine energy is like the flow, the water flow through the river, like it, it's the energy flow through that container.

The masculine energy creates the direction and the structure for the energy to flow through.

And so to put this into an example in a relationship. Masculine energy might be going out and planning a date, figuring out what the date's gonna be, what we're gonna do, where we're gonna do it, how long we're gonna spend here, when we're going to go here.

Mm-hmm. That's all the masculine energy. Yeah. Once that planning is done mm-hmm. Then you step into your feminine energy and you just be there. You just go with the flow. You just enjoy the experience Totally. You just be there with the other person and listen to them and be present with them as they're talking to you.

You're hearing them, you're not planning the next part of the date or thinking about. You know, I've been really thinking maybe I should be a pro MMA fighter, like all of that stuff. Turn that off. You turn that off and you just be in the moment, and that's tapping into your feminine energy.

Yeah. And, let's dig into that a little bit more.

I, read something the other day that talking about planning date nights or planning time together, regardless, it's one thing when one of you says like, yeah, let's spend some time go, let's, do something maybe on Saturday, like that's leaning toward your masculine energy. That's helpful 'cause it's nice to feel like you wanna spend time with me.

But really digging into your masculine energy is like, I've made reservations, I've got a babysitter, like I've done the planning to make this time together work for us. That's like really leveraging your masculine energy, which makes me really feel appreciated seeing heard like you wanna spend time with me if you're going to the work of doing all that planning.

And then it makes it really easy for both of us. To be there in our feminine energy and enjoy the date. 'cause I don't have to do all the extra planning along the way of babysitter and meals or reservations or where we're gonna eat or all those things. Mm-hmm. So that's like a little helpful hint I think to really step into your masculine energy is not just to say like, Hey, let's hang out, but like, hey, I've already done all this planning and created this opportunity for us.

Mm-hmm. It's really attractive for women.

So masculine energy is really logical. Yeah. Like we talked about. And feminine energy is really intuitive. Yeah. So masculine energy is like focusing on facts, solutions, strategy, whereas the feminine energy is about feelings, creativity, intuition. And so when you're solving a problem the masculine energy might be like, so.

Here's the answer to your problem. You come to me with a problem. Here's your answer. Masculine energy, totally feminine energy is more how can we come up with creative solutions to this problem together?

Right?

So. It's more collaborative and getting creative and working together, and sometimes I think that's where men and women in relationships kind of get into a tough spot.

Whereas, you know, when a woman comes with a problem, first of all, it probably just wants to be seen. But when you just come and say, okay, here's the solution to your problem. Mm-hmm. Go implement that and then I'll stop bitching about it.

Right? That's not exactly team first. It's

super not helpful though, either.

Like you, you think you're helping because , I've solved your problem. Now go, implement that solution and we're good. Yeah. I'm your hero now. Yeah, but it's really more about. Well, how about we put our brains together and we think through creatively how, 'cause that won't work for me for various reasons.

Mm-hmm. Don't wanna get in, but how about we brainstorm and get to a, as a team As a team and get to a solution to this problem.

Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting because I think for a lot of my life, like I really struggled with believing. I was creative. I really struggled with listening to my intuition.

I was really a lot more process driven, organized, like very structured, and it's only been in the last couple of years that I have felt more tuned into my intuition that I could hear it and feel it more strongly that , feel like I can be more creative. Like I, think just in the last number of years, I'm starting to tune in more to my feminine energy.

More than I ever have before. I think I lived in my masculine energy a lot.

Yeah. I think so too. But I also think that's true for me too. Yeah. I agree. And, part of that, you know, interesting going to yours, it, might be part of the reason why for 10 years. Totally. You're having a hard time for sure in the dating world.

Yeah.

Because men are not looking for masculine energy. They're looking for feminine

energy. Just you were

thankfully.

Yeah. Some men can't handle that. Yes, I'm okay. Fair, fair. They couldn't handle you.

Yeah,

I, know they couldn't handle you. I know M Energy. But so just an interesting side, point. Yeah, totally. But what I found super interesting diving into this more is that, you know, with the be do, have model, you know, you have to be the person, do the things that that person would do, and then have, have the stuff you want, have the things that you want in life.

Mm-hmm. And what I found super interesting is that the B is the feminine energy. Mm-hmm. And the do is the masculine energy. You've, you gotta start with your feminine. So in order to have the things you want in life, you actually have to have both energy. Yeah. So being a man and fighting your feminine energy, or being a woman.

And fighting your feminine energy in some cases, or, your masculine energy in other cases. Yeah. It's not gonna serve you well. You need both to have the things you want in life. Totally. , there's a synergistic kind of yin yang.

Yeah.

That is required to have all the things you want in life.

I also think it's interesting, and we see this a lot with clients, that when they get into arguments, a lot of times the men default to the masculine energy and they want to talk about the facts. This is what happened. This is what's true. This is the universal fact of what happened. Mm. And the woman wants to talk about the feelings, like, this is how this made me feel.

It's like, well, that doesn't make sense 'cause this is not what happened. That's not what I said. So why do you feel that way? And so the men tend to default to their masculine energy. And when emotions are high, when the argument's happening and women are defaulting to their feminine energy because they wanna talk about their feelings.

But men wanna talk about the facts.

, and part of this, this is maybe a bit of an aside, but facts are completely subjective. Yeah. What you see as facts are completely different to someone else who may have experienced that same exact situation. Right. Saw completely different facts, quote unquote facts.

Totally. So relying on facts is just your representation of the world, your personal reality. It's your, all of your history, all of your stories, all of your experiences. Manifesting and representing itself in your current experience. Mm-hmm. Someone else had a completely different one because they have a completely different history, a completely different background, completely different emotions attached to that.

So they're gonna have a completely different set of quote unquote facts. Yeah. So there's no one set of facts. Mm-hmm. So stop relying on. Quote unquote facts

bars. Yeah, we did an episode actually on like the stories we tell ourselves and we got into that a little bit, so we can link to that in the show notes.

But yeah, your facts are your version of reality and no one has the exact same version of reality as you, no matter sitting right beside each other. We still are gonna have different versions of reality, but going back to the masculine and feminine energy, trying, in those like emotionally charged moments when you're arguing about something.

Where one is, speaking facts and one is speaking feelings, you're speaking two different languages. Totally. And so trying to both of you lessen the entrenchment in your different energies and try to find your way to the opposite energy to understand where the other one is coming from.

Yeah. So like we're saying, like in healthy relationships , it's a dance between masculine and feminine. Mm-hmm. So it's, totally, totally normal for the woman to be in her masculine energy and for the male to tap into the feminine energy in that moment. Mm-hmm. , and then vice versa. Mm-hmm. And have that balance.

Sometimes you're both gonna be in your masculine, sometimes you're both gonna be in your feminine, and then there's gonna be times where the woman's gonna be in the masculine and the man's going to, yeah, tap into the feminine and vice versa.

And it's really cool because you want people, both partners to. Tap into both. Mm-hmm. And kind of flow with each other. Because when both people feel like they're in their masculine energy all the time, it becomes competitive and rigid.

Mm-hmm. And so you don't want that in your relationship. You don't want to be constantly in competition with each other, but that's the masculine energy.

Right.

We compete.

Totally. So when we used to race down the stairs at work every morning, you were masculine energy. I also, we were both, both in our masculine energies.

Yeah. Yeah. As we established, I was in mine a lot in those days. You are, I know. Yeah.

You're tapping into your female more. More. Yeah, for sure.

I like the example actually of like what it looks like to tap into each, so like let's say, let's talk about work. That's what we were just talking about. Like back on my corporate life, I lived in my masculine energy a whole lot more, and so that's when I was like trying to hit deadlines, making sure I was delivering.

That's also why you were defaulting to your masculinity. You were spending a lot of your time in it, almost probably like you felt like you had to survive in it because in the corporate world you were in a bit of a for sure man's world there.

There was many meetings where I was the only woman.

Yeah. And so you had to tap into it to survive.

So the more you're in it, the probably the less flexible you become. Mm-hmm. In transitioning back and forth between the two when you just default to masculine energy most of the time. And given that you were single at the time. You know, the planning and all the things you had to be in your masculine energy.

Yeah. More. Totally.

Yeah. 'cause like leading projects, hitting deadlines, delivering on the work, like all that structure and formality and organization and decisiveness, , that's all masculine energy. Where I could have done a better job of that at work, I think was leaning into the feminine energy, to making sure, everyone else's voice is heard.

Like leading more of a collaborative meeting where everyone gets the chance to speak and you. Have more creative problem solving, more innovation, where you end up collaborating on a better solution because innovation leads to better solutions. 'cause everyone's voice gets heard and so you can lean into your masculine energy at work easily 'cause you're driving to hit deadlines where you'll probably end up with a better solution if you also balance that with your feminine energy and make sure that everyone's voice at the table's getting heard and you're creating a collaborative solution instead of just running full steam ahead with the solution that you've come up with.

So how do we balance and deploy masculine and feminine energy so that we have these harmonious relationships?

Well, I think it's important first to reflect on what is your natural tendency. Like we've just done some reflection here with you on this episode that my natural tendency, I think, still leans masculine.

I think I still have a tendency 'cause I love structure, I love organization. I don't always love making decisions. Actually. That's somewhere where I don't lean masculine.

Yeah. I'm not, sure that that's your default as much as it was a place where you, spent a lot of time out of necessity given survival mechanism given where you were in your experience and where you were in life.

Mm-hmm. I think your natural is more feminine and that's why now you are finding yourself spending more of your time there mm-hmm. Than you would've in the past, given that now you have. Someone who has masculine energy. So there's masculine energy that you can now leverage. Leverage and bounce off of, right?

Yeah. Like when I go out for dinner with my friend Emily, I love going for dinner with her 'cause she just picks all the food and I just get to eat it. I don't have to make any decisions.

Yeah. As long as she picks stuff that you like, which

she usually does. So I can lean into my feminine energy and let her make all the decisions and I just show up and present in the moment.

All feminine energy out. Nice. Oh, it's great. So yeah, I guess I do like being in my feminine energy. So I think the first thing. Reflect on where you tend to lean first. What's your default lean, masculine or feminine? Which energy do you feel more comfortable in? Which one do you kind of default to more naturally?

More naturally? For me, for sure, it's masculine energy, but I do find that lately I've not had a hard time tapping into the mm-hmm.

,

feminine energy. Yeah.

Yeah.

Then what? I guess the next step is noticing when you're sort of at a balance out of sync, out of alignment, because generally burnout comes from being alone, being in your masculine energy, driving forward, always like solutions, organization decisions. Go, go, go. When you're starting to feel burnt out, it's probably because you've been living too long.

In the masculine energy.

So that's when it's time to step three, shift and intentionally start to focus on going into your, your feminine and, you know, the vitality mm-hmm. Parts of your life like meditating, journaling, getting introspective taking time for yourself. Mm-hmm. Making sure your cup is full.

Mm-hmm. And on the flip side, if you find yourself feeling stuck, unmotivated, like. Can't seem to shake the funk you're in, or that's usually because you're stuck in your feminine energy. You're stuck in the being, and you need to start doing, you need to start taking action. So if you're finding yourself burnt out, you're stuck in your masculine.

If you're finding yourself a bit stuck, you're probably in your feminine and you need to tap into the opposite.

Mm-hmm.

Step four, what's the next step? Step four is. Talking to your partner about it, talking to your partner about the energy you're in and what you need. Being like taking that level of awareness that you've got from your reflection and sharing it, discussing it together.

if I'm stuck in my masculine energy, then I'm gonna need more feminine energy from you so we can kind of get un. Stuck in, balance and in peace and move forward. '

cause if someone's, like, for example, stressed out from work, there's a lot going on. They've got kid, they're planning kids activities and meals and work and all the things, and they're stressed to the max, then that balance looks like offering empathy and connection and just mm-hmm.

You know, making them feel seen and, mm-hmm. Maybe. Tapping into your masculine energy and taking some of that off their plate. Off their plate so

that they can go back to their feminine energy and feel more balanced. '

cause they don't, if they don't feel like that slack is being picked up somewhere. Mm-hmm.

Like if they feel like it has to be done. It's on them to do it. So if you take it off their plate and you actually do it, then they feel comfortable knowing that it's being taken care of. Now I can, drop into my feminine energy. Mm-hmm.

Totally. And we talked about that in one of our mastermind calls.

Like one of the women felt really stuck in her masculine energy and she needed her husband to come and step into the masculine energy so that she could lean back to feminine. 'cause she wanted to make sure all the stuff was getting done. Yeah. Nothing was getting dropped, everything was getting done. And once she was confident that was happening, then she could go back to feminine and not feel so burnt out.

Totally.

And then the last step is just embrace the fact that we all have both energies and that we need to deploy them both. Mm-hmm. And it's not about being a man, a masculine man, and being ashamed that you have feminine energy. It's embrace it. You need them both. It's a yin yang situation. Mm-hmm. And in order to have all the things you want in life, you need both masculine and feminine.

You need the bee and the do. Mm-hmm. So it's about understanding that they're both a part of you tap into both. Mm-hmm. And just embrace it. , it's a strength. Yeah. It's, literally a strength. If you can tap into your feminine energy, it makes your relationship so much. If you're a dude and you can tap into your feminine energy, it's a game changer for your relationship and vice versa.

Mm-hmm. For, women.

Yeah. Being able to deploy both creates peace. Mm-hmm. For both of you. And that's what we ultimately all want, is peace.

Yeah. So remember, it's not about gender, it's about energy. , it's the energies that are within us. And when you can balance and harness both, you create this harmony, this connection, fulfillment mm-hmm.

In basically all areas of your life. Mm-hmm. But especially your relationship. So,

so where in your life are you feeling burnt out or are you feeling stuck? what's one thing you're gonna take from this episode and actually put into practice? 'cause. We love chitchatting with you, but we also wanna make sure that you're taking this information and doing something with it.

So share this episode with your spouse, share it with your friends, your all your people. 'cause this applies to literally every human being on planet Earth. So share the episode and take something and apply it and we will see you next week.

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Though it does include that one. We're also talking about the relationships with yourself, your friends, your business partners, your family, all the important people in your life. This mastermind is for anyone ready to take all of their relationships to a whole new level. Whether you're thriving and you want to thrive even more, or you're feeling a little stuck and need some extra love and support.

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