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Episode Transcription

 Welcome back to another episode of The Road to Life podcast with Meredith and Craig. This week we are talking about an underrated

topic in relationships. Super underrated, I think, and super powerful when you deploy it. I think it just kind of flies under the radar. We're talking about appreciation and specifically how you can use the power of appreciation to actually just make somebody's day. You can turn someone's whole day around by showing them a little bit of appreciation.

The cool thing is, is we all have this ability at any point in time. Mm-hmm. To change someone's day, to bring joy. Make them feel loved, seen, appreciated. It's super powerful. It like, I wanna tell you a story about a time that it happened to me. So we're in a flashback a few weeks. We were in Wyoming at an event and we were all challenged to make somebody's day.

And so we all went away and came up with ideas to make someone's day and what someone did for me. They had the idea of asking a whole bunch of people, everybody there to write a little tiny note about how , something they appreciate or love about me. And it started and it was secret. I didn't know it was happening.

And we were eating lunch after this kind of event. , this challenge had happened earlier before lunch. And I'm eating lunch. I suddenly looked down and out of nowhere it seemed like there's a little piece of paper next to my plate and it had like a very lovely message on it, but I had no idea who left it.

Like it just suddenly appeared. Nobody was around, nobody was taking any credit for it. It was lovely. Made me cry. I felt really good. , it was a very special moment. Mm-hmm. And then a few minutes later, I'm taking my plates out and. My friend's little little guy comes up and says, mom wanted me to give you this.

And it's another little note with another, something somebody loves about me written on it. And I was like, oh, well this is cool. And then there was another one, and another one and another one and then, and it was an avalanche. I couldn't turn around and someone was handing me a love note and it was.

Amazing. It was super emotional because I just kept getting all these notes of appreciation and love and it made me feel so good. And literally every single person, whether I knew them well or I didn't know them well, wrote something down that made me feel good and gave it to me. And I have now like a stack of notes, of little notes of appreciation and love and how I've touched someone's life in some way.

And it was like a solid hour of people just. Handing me these little notes and it, it was an incredible , moments for me and all because someone had an idea, Hey, this would be a cool thing. This would make Meredith feel really good. Her and someone else organized the whole thing and just spread the word, like give her a note.

It was very simple, it wasn't a big, hard thing, but it was something I will never forget, especially individually. It took each of those individuals. Yeah, no more than a a minute to write that note. And then having, you know, 40 or 50 people write notes to you, and then over the course of an hour you receive these 40 or 50 and they all build on each other.

Mm-hmm. And they all like you. Were a puddle. I was a puddle. You were a pu. I was a puddle. Puddle. So giant. Thank you to Bernard and Alicia for. Creating and organizing that moments of appreciation for me because it was an afternoon, I will not forget in my whole life. And it made me feel incredible and it reminded me of just how powerful we all are.

Like that first note from Shane. Thank you, Shane. That first note made me cry, like was a mo. Yeah. Brought up something inside me and I , felt very proud of myself for the impact that I'd had. And that one note. Like made my day. I felt great, and then I got a second one and I was like, oh my God, this is amazing.

I feel so good. And then I got 40 or 50 more. Yeah. And it was the most amazing feeling. And that's the cool thing is, that appreciation that you felt in that moment is one thing. Mm-hmm. But now when you think back on it, and like you said, it's a moment that you're going to cherish forever. You're never gonna forget that.

Now you get to think back on that. Look back on that, and you get to relive those. Mm-hmm. I have all notes those feelings. And you have those notes that you can go back to later. And, it's like an ever living thing. Like you can feel that appreciation and that love. Mm-hmm. You can tap back into that feeling anytime I want.

And the other cool thing too is that it didn't just impact you. I got a real joy and kick out of seeing everyone love on you and how excited you were and how. Emotionally overwhelmed. I guess emotional you were with all of it. So it actually made me feel really good. So it was like, it's not just for the, direct, like there's, a ripple effect, I guess is what I'm saying.

Yeah. A butterfly effect. Yeah. Now that I've experienced it. 'cause I, you know, it's something, you know, intellectually, like I have the power to make someone's day. I just, we all do. And the thing is, that, your relationship with all of those people is different, fundamentally different now. Yeah. With each, of them individually.

Like your relationship has gotten deeper with each of those people who gave you a note. Mm-hmm. Like, that's the power of what we're talking about. That's very cool. That's the power of what we're talking about here. It not only just shows appreciation and, it strengthens that relationship, but.

It deepens your connection. It builds trust. Mm-hmm. It, , just creates this positive dynamic between you and the person that gave you the note. Mm-hmm. And that showed appreciation for you. Mm-hmm. That's really cool. It's very special.

And it's not just us talking about the benefits of appreciation. Even though we are touting the benefits of appreciation, , there's science backed benefits to it as well. Love a good science backed benefit. , you are literally tapping into happiness. Mm-hmm. When you can show appreciation for someone else.

Studies show that like when, you're able to tap into gratitude mm-hmm. You get more. Gratitude, you get more things to be grateful for. Yeah. When you show appreciation, you, are now tapping into and leaning into all the positive energy. The, you're looking for positive things, you get more positive back.

And it's actually, it's like a magnet. Yeah. , we read it in the book the Happiness Advantage by Sean Aker. He has four steps of like what research shows will make you happier if you do them. And one of them, we've got a whole episode on it, so you can, we'll reference that in the show notes. You can listen to that happiness episode, but one of them is showing appreciation for someone else.

Mm-hmm. Whether that's a text message, whether that's a phone call, a post-it note, a foggy mirror message like a carrier, pigeon, , whatever it is, just expressing appreciation for someone else. Makes you feel happier. Yeah, and the really cool thing is, is like you can, like we said it already, but it bears mentioning again, like you can literally do this at any point in time.

Mm-hmm. It's like a choice. Mm-hmm. It's like, oh, I'm feeling a little down, or unhappy or, you know, whatever in my feelings about something. I can literally change that. Going, showing appreciation for someone else. Exactly. Like literally right now. Yeah. And it changes your state, it brings you outta the funk.

Mm-hmm. 'cause you focus on something else, but also helps bring them into a different mm-hmm. Yeah. State, because we all fundamentally wanna feel, seen, heard, appreciated, valued, respected. We all wanna be seen as human beings. And the minute you show appreciation to someone. They instantly feel seen.

They feel heard. They feel appreciated. They feel valued as a human being. So not only by showing them appreciation, do you feel good, it literally increases your own happiness. Then you're giving them exactly what makes them feel good, making them feel seen, heard, valued, respected, appreciated. So you're giving that to somebody else, to basically telling someone that.

You matter. You're making a difference. I see you and we all wanna hear that. Totally. Feel that. And in order to do this, it's not that hard. It's really just pay attention to who's around you and what they're up to. And you know, first step is basically just tell them, yeah. Notice what's happening around you.

And let them find something to appreciate and let them know that you appreciate the thing that they do for you. Yeah. What's funny about my, particular. Story of appreciation is Alicia, the one that came up with the idea. I've always joked with her because in my very first ever talk on stage, she fell asleep.

And so from that point forward, I've never let her , forget it. But after this whole water under the bridge whole thing, she created this whole feeling she created for me. I promised her I would never bring that up ever again. So I guess I just broke that promise starting now. I'll never bring it up again.

So the, big thing is, a lot of times we just assume people understand and know that we appreciate them and love them and we see them and that, you know, we assume people know how we feel. Yeah. And it's just, you gotta tell them. Mm-hmm. Because , , nobody else is in your head. Mm-hmm.

Like you might, yeah, yeah. Of course. It's, it's obvious, but. It's only obvious to, to you, it's only obvious to you because you are in your own head. No one else knows the thoughts mm-hmm. That are going through your head. So it's, not that obvious to the rest of the world. So it's, really about appreciation over assumption.

Don't assume that just because they're in your life and that you do appreciate them, that they know you do, but you've never said it, that they know that you do. Mm-hmm. It's, really about showing them and telling them mm-hmm. That you really do appreciate them. Being obvious with it. Being obvious with it, and also being specific with it, like.

I like to say I appreciate you to someone when they do something for me, but what is actually more impactful than I appreciate you is being really specific in what you appreciate about them. I appreciate you taking the time outta your day to help me with that project. Mm-hmm. It meant a lot to me.

Mm-hmm. I appreciate you writing me that note. Really made me feel good. Yeah. I appreciate you sitting with me when I was, you know, feeling sad. I appreciate like, be really specific. What you appreciate about them. 'cause it hits deeper. And one of the things that really made an impact with this particular story in Wyoming for you was that it wasn't just someone showing you appreciation.

There was a moment created. Yeah. Like for over the course of one hour. Mm-hmm. You were showered with praise by 50 people. Yeah. And that was a moment in time and created a pretty big memory for me. It's a core memory now. Yeah. So . If you can take your appreciation to that level where you're creating like a core memory, like an experience for someone, it goes that much further.

Mm-hmm. Pop further. It like really makes it pop. Yeah. And do it consistently. Like tell the people in your life what you appreciate about them. Tell them what you love about them. Be consistent in sharing your appreciation because you're gonna feel good, you're gonna be happier. And it's gonna go a long way with those people.

And also the more you appreciate, the more you get things that you appreciate. So it's almost a little self-serving too. Mm-hmm. Like if we want to go to the selfish side of this, like you get a lot of benefit from it. One, you get to be happier. Yes. And two, the more you appreciate, the more you will get to appreciate.

Exactly. The more you'll find to appreciate, the more you will have to appreciate Exactly. So obviously the, relationship impact is obvious, right? Mm-hmm. We've already talked about it. It strengthens your, emotional connection. It reduces the negativity you live in, the positive more you know, it, just builds trust.

Mm-hmm. And deepens your connection. Like, just all around, there's no downside to it. Imagine coming home from a hard day and you're like, your spouse meets you at the door and they're like, Hey, you know, I, notice how hard you've been working. I really appreciate what you've been. Doing to support our family, and I just want you to know that I see you and I love you, and I appreciate how much you're doing for us.

Mm-hmm. Imagine you get that message or some, some version of that message almost every day when you get home. Like, what does that do for your relationship? Yeah, it's a game changer. Yeah. So moral of the story, appreciate you're gonna feel happier, they're gonna feel better, they're gonna feel seen, heard, valued, respected, all those good things.

And it's gonna strengthen the relationship between the two of you. And we will leave you with a little appreciation for you because we do appreciate you tuning in and listening to us, and helping us promote our message of positivity and helping people in their relationships to go from, you know, struggling to thriving.

Mm-hmm. We want people to have the best, most loving, caring. Adventure filled relationships possible, and , it is not lost on us that you could be doing any other thing right now. You could be , listening to any number of things, but you've chosen to be here listening to us, and we do so appreciate that.

So thank you and share this episode with someone you appreciate. That's one way of showing your appreciation to somebody else. On that note, we love you and we will see you next week. Bye bye.

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And as always, thank you so much for being a part of our journey on The Road of life. And remember, you've got this, and we're here to help you every step of the way. So we'll see you next week. Bye for now.